(no subject)
I feel bad for not e-mailing Alyx back yet. I just don't want to do it when I'm all depressed and moody. Unfortunalty, I have been that way every time I have free time latley.
I'm just sick of all of this. What happened to me? When I was a kid, all the way through high school, I always seemed to think that everything will turn out in the end. Sure I was a social misfit for most of the time, but I had goals, and I enjoyed writing, reading, listening to music and many other things. For the past couple days, I haven't even been able to really listen to any music. It's just kinda there, which never used to be the case. All of this has made me numb.
I have all but given up on the job search. I'm not sure where to go. I don't know how to find what I'm looking for. It seems like the wells that I used to use have dried up. I need to get out of this slump. Looking back, I've been in a slump for the past five years. I need something good to happen. Dating Alyx was great, but I relied too heavily on our relationship to try to fix anything else. That, I believe, was one of the few reasons for the break up.
I know that it's up to me, but something inside keeps blocking the way these past few weeks.