Crimson
Crimson
It was the middle of October, the sky ached with heat, and beads of sweat could be found on the majority of the school. She pushed her way through the corridor, and broke the doors open. Heading outside, a push of cold air hit her face from a tan colored SUV whizzing by. She walked to her car, a small light blue 1980s bmw, she'd gotten it for six thousand from her aunt. What a deal she had thought at the time. Now she grimaced as she turned the key five times in the ignition to get the engine to start.
She rolled down her windows and turned on the AC full blast, of course, it was hot, so she turned it off and drove home, the radio engulfed in static and nothing was going right. She turned the corner up towards her hill and screeched to halt as a green SUV nearly hit her. Two seconds later and she would have been dead. It was just one of those days, when the month and a half you've been in school seems like an entire semester, hell, an entire year, like you're stuck in some bad dream and you're trying to open your eyes but you can't see shit, everything is black. She didn't mind much that nothing really had meaning, that wasn't it, but it was just everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong, and it stung. She pulled into the drive way and dust rose off of the gravel, sending her into a sneezing fit. She clutched her books, lots of books, all different shapes and sizes that were slippery and awkward, as she opened the mailbox. While reaching in to get the one piece of mail, a single letter from Mills College (who really wants to go there anyway?), her books slipped from her tired grasp and started to slip down the ravine next to her walkway.
"FUCK!" she yelled, as she scrambled down to catch them before they went any farther. She sighed menacingly and straightened back up, attempting to fish her house key out of her purse. She looked up and saw something moving ahead of her, but it was so hot outside and the haze made everything blurry. As she got closer, she saw that someone was sitting on the steps. She stopped cold when she saw who it was.
"Why are you here." She didn't say it so much as a question, though it was of course, but she didn't say it that way. She said it flatly, like if she changed pitches, the point (that she hated him with everything in her) would not come across how she intended it.
"I needed some help on the history assignment.." he said softly, without looking at her.
"So you came to my house?" He looked up, she continued in an angry voice, "you could have just asked me online, or even called me."
"Jeez, it would have been really hard to explain but fine i'll just go ask someone else or something." He got up and started to walk away, but she reached and grabbed his arm, he turned and stared at her.
"Wait.." she sighed, in concession, "look i'm sorry, it's just been a bad day, come in, i'll help you."
"Are your parents home?" he furrowed his brow with concern.
She bit her lip and broke into a smile without intention, "I thought you just wanted help.."
"Come on, be serious." he laughed a little, so did she. This was the most decent conversation they'd had in weeks and it was only five sentences.
"Okay, come in."
They'd walked through these halls together countless times, she'd make him wait in the living room while she ran into hers and cleaned up. He'd come in with a sheepish smile and grab her guitar, and she'd listen to him play notes pulled from the sweetest book.
Today, they sat down at a small table in her kitchen, across from eachother, without staring, just getting the job done.
"Fuck, I don't get this," she laughed at his frustration, and he scowled. "it's not funny."
"Let me go get my book, hold on, hold on." she got up and walked through the halls till she reached her room, and sat down on the ground looking through her books. She knew that she was going to start thinking about him, the possibilities, maybe he hadn't come just to work, maybe he'd come because he wanted her back, maybe he'd realized that the two years they'd spent in love weren't just a false, meaningless excuse for something to do while in high school, maybe they were just the way they were and he realized he wanted that back. Instead, she concentrated on finding the book. She heard the floor creak and turned to see him standing there. He looked at her, and said nothing, it would have been odd, even creepy, except for the way he was looking. It was as if he'd never seen her before in his life, the kind of look that a student and teacher give you when you walk into a room where the teacher is helping the student and they look up to see who you are, and then look down again.
Only he wasn't looking down.
"What's wrong.." she said slowly, avoiding his eyes, afraid that he'd look away, afraid that she was imagining all of this.
"I didn't come over for history." He paused, she looked up at him, "I mean I needed help on it but that's not why I came." he didn't say anything for a few moments, and she got up from where she was sitting and smoothed out her shirt, looking at the ground.
She said in a voice, so soft, so quiet, as if the wind carried it for miles, "Why are you here?" He took a step towards her, she still looked down.
"Why is it you never look me in the eyes when I speak to you?" his voice cracked as he said the word never.
"Because.. because I'm afraid to look into them, i'm afraid of what i'll see, i'm afraid of how you'll look at me when you're no longer in love, i'm afraid to see that." She began to bite her thumbnail, he pulled her arm away from her mouth and tilted her chin up, they were very close now, and her hand shook, his didn't. She felt in this moment a perfection that could never be traded in, something that you don't forget in a few months, maybe even in a few years. And so she looked into his eyes, she let herself fade into them and he rested his hand on her face, she could feel the warmth.
He whispered, slowly, quietly, as he leaned in, "I came today because i'm still in love with you, to me, you are perfect.." and with that he kissed her, and she grew dizzy and suddenly everything was white, a whole world of white and-
She heard sirens and yelling and "Call 911, oh god! Call 911!" She lay outstretched on the pavement, the only thing in her view the green SUV that she vaguely recalled passing. It was then she realized that she'd never passed it, it hit her. She was lying on the ground, dying, because this car had hit her, and the pavement was soaked in her crimson blood and everything that had happened was in a state of unconciousness, a dream, a hallucination. The love, the feeling, the consensual kiss, all of it a hallucination - and this was her last thought.
"Can you hear me?!" a red faced man in a bright yellow suit yelled to her, and kept yelling until the yells just faded into an echo, and everything went black.
It was the middle of October, the sky ached with heat, and beads of sweat could be found on the majority of the school. She pushed her way through the corridor, and broke the doors open. Heading outside, a push of cold air hit her face from a tan colored SUV whizzing by. She walked to her car, a small light blue 1980s bmw, she'd gotten it for six thousand from her aunt. What a deal she had thought at the time. Now she grimaced as she turned the key five times in the ignition to get the engine to start.
She rolled down her windows and turned on the AC full blast, of course, it was hot, so she turned it off and drove home, the radio engulfed in static and nothing was going right. She turned the corner up towards her hill and screeched to halt as a green SUV nearly hit her. Two seconds later and she would have been dead. It was just one of those days, when the month and a half you've been in school seems like an entire semester, hell, an entire year, like you're stuck in some bad dream and you're trying to open your eyes but you can't see shit, everything is black. She didn't mind much that nothing really had meaning, that wasn't it, but it was just everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong, and it stung. She pulled into the drive way and dust rose off of the gravel, sending her into a sneezing fit. She clutched her books, lots of books, all different shapes and sizes that were slippery and awkward, as she opened the mailbox. While reaching in to get the one piece of mail, a single letter from Mills College (who really wants to go there anyway?), her books slipped from her tired grasp and started to slip down the ravine next to her walkway.
"FUCK!" she yelled, as she scrambled down to catch them before they went any farther. She sighed menacingly and straightened back up, attempting to fish her house key out of her purse. She looked up and saw something moving ahead of her, but it was so hot outside and the haze made everything blurry. As she got closer, she saw that someone was sitting on the steps. She stopped cold when she saw who it was.
"Why are you here." She didn't say it so much as a question, though it was of course, but she didn't say it that way. She said it flatly, like if she changed pitches, the point (that she hated him with everything in her) would not come across how she intended it.
"I needed some help on the history assignment.." he said softly, without looking at her.
"So you came to my house?" He looked up, she continued in an angry voice, "you could have just asked me online, or even called me."
"Jeez, it would have been really hard to explain but fine i'll just go ask someone else or something." He got up and started to walk away, but she reached and grabbed his arm, he turned and stared at her.
"Wait.." she sighed, in concession, "look i'm sorry, it's just been a bad day, come in, i'll help you."
"Are your parents home?" he furrowed his brow with concern.
She bit her lip and broke into a smile without intention, "I thought you just wanted help.."
"Come on, be serious." he laughed a little, so did she. This was the most decent conversation they'd had in weeks and it was only five sentences.
"Okay, come in."
They'd walked through these halls together countless times, she'd make him wait in the living room while she ran into hers and cleaned up. He'd come in with a sheepish smile and grab her guitar, and she'd listen to him play notes pulled from the sweetest book.
Today, they sat down at a small table in her kitchen, across from eachother, without staring, just getting the job done.
"Fuck, I don't get this," she laughed at his frustration, and he scowled. "it's not funny."
"Let me go get my book, hold on, hold on." she got up and walked through the halls till she reached her room, and sat down on the ground looking through her books. She knew that she was going to start thinking about him, the possibilities, maybe he hadn't come just to work, maybe he'd come because he wanted her back, maybe he'd realized that the two years they'd spent in love weren't just a false, meaningless excuse for something to do while in high school, maybe they were just the way they were and he realized he wanted that back. Instead, she concentrated on finding the book. She heard the floor creak and turned to see him standing there. He looked at her, and said nothing, it would have been odd, even creepy, except for the way he was looking. It was as if he'd never seen her before in his life, the kind of look that a student and teacher give you when you walk into a room where the teacher is helping the student and they look up to see who you are, and then look down again.
Only he wasn't looking down.
"What's wrong.." she said slowly, avoiding his eyes, afraid that he'd look away, afraid that she was imagining all of this.
"I didn't come over for history." He paused, she looked up at him, "I mean I needed help on it but that's not why I came." he didn't say anything for a few moments, and she got up from where she was sitting and smoothed out her shirt, looking at the ground.
She said in a voice, so soft, so quiet, as if the wind carried it for miles, "Why are you here?" He took a step towards her, she still looked down.
"Why is it you never look me in the eyes when I speak to you?" his voice cracked as he said the word never.
"Because.. because I'm afraid to look into them, i'm afraid of what i'll see, i'm afraid of how you'll look at me when you're no longer in love, i'm afraid to see that." She began to bite her thumbnail, he pulled her arm away from her mouth and tilted her chin up, they were very close now, and her hand shook, his didn't. She felt in this moment a perfection that could never be traded in, something that you don't forget in a few months, maybe even in a few years. And so she looked into his eyes, she let herself fade into them and he rested his hand on her face, she could feel the warmth.
He whispered, slowly, quietly, as he leaned in, "I came today because i'm still in love with you, to me, you are perfect.." and with that he kissed her, and she grew dizzy and suddenly everything was white, a whole world of white and-
She heard sirens and yelling and "Call 911, oh god! Call 911!" She lay outstretched on the pavement, the only thing in her view the green SUV that she vaguely recalled passing. It was then she realized that she'd never passed it, it hit her. She was lying on the ground, dying, because this car had hit her, and the pavement was soaked in her crimson blood and everything that had happened was in a state of unconciousness, a dream, a hallucination. The love, the feeling, the consensual kiss, all of it a hallucination - and this was her last thought.
"Can you hear me?!" a red faced man in a bright yellow suit yelled to her, and kept yelling until the yells just faded into an echo, and everything went black.