(no subject)
It's like I've had that feelings where I know it needs to go away. and i'm holding that last ounce of hope that the string won't break.
I'm breaking it now. I'm perfectly fine with that numb feeling for awhile, that I won't be good enough... that sort of self destructive phase.. and I know it will subside.
I know this will never work, and once again, I have been treated like shit by a dumb piece of shit jerk.
It has gone on too long, I have prolonged this long enough. You're not on my facebook, and as of now, you are officially out of my phone.
This is actually better than my break up with Roberto.. This just hurts far more. But not like where I want to cry... Like... When i sit and think about it. It just pierces my heart. It makes me cringe. And it happens almost every time I have a moment to myself. Even in casual conversation. Someone can say something that will trigger that ill-fated 2:00 in the morning event on July 12th.
It will be okay. I will be okay. I know.
But for now, I'm done dealing with other peoples shit, my parents shit, as in, My mother wants to get back with my dad. Is that a fucking joke? Is it cause she knows she can't live without my dad supporting her financially? Cunt. I'm not getting into this now, But it's pretty much like my whole family would like to contribute to my psychotic-ness.
More college on Monday. More living on my own. More learning. More loving myself.
I'm breaking it now. I'm perfectly fine with that numb feeling for awhile, that I won't be good enough... that sort of self destructive phase.. and I know it will subside.
I know this will never work, and once again, I have been treated like shit by a dumb piece of shit jerk.
It has gone on too long, I have prolonged this long enough. You're not on my facebook, and as of now, you are officially out of my phone.
This is actually better than my break up with Roberto.. This just hurts far more. But not like where I want to cry... Like... When i sit and think about it. It just pierces my heart. It makes me cringe. And it happens almost every time I have a moment to myself. Even in casual conversation. Someone can say something that will trigger that ill-fated 2:00 in the morning event on July 12th.
It will be okay. I will be okay. I know.
But for now, I'm done dealing with other peoples shit, my parents shit, as in, My mother wants to get back with my dad. Is that a fucking joke? Is it cause she knows she can't live without my dad supporting her financially? Cunt. I'm not getting into this now, But it's pretty much like my whole family would like to contribute to my psychotic-ness.
More college on Monday. More living on my own. More learning. More loving myself.