Deffered salary leave plan / Find my way back to ME.
The last time I had a whole summer off to myself was back in 2001. The good old days of no work and all play. Well, not THAT much play since I’ve always been a lazy bitch... I remember the end of that semester in college like it was yesterday. Mid-May, packing my brother’s car with all my stuff and heading back home with anticipation. I had been waiting for that moment.
First thing I did was unpack all of my stuff as fast as I could so I could go right on the living room couch with my discman, headphones on, listening to Geri’s new album (SIYWGF) for the first time reading every words as she “sung” them from the booklet. This was SERIOUS business. I had bought it a couple of days earlier but was saving it to really kick start my summer off. Yes, I know, I was very gay back then already. Those headphones came off at the end of august... I’m surprised my ears didn’t bleed.
Next thing I did was cut my hair short. I had been growing it “long” for months and unfortunately for me the look I was trying to achieve didn’t really happen... I was starting to look like a girl. A chubby girl... which obviously was no good. So a fresh new look for a fresh new start of doing absolutely NOTHING all summer long. GOOD. TIMES. That was 10 years ago.
Every summer after that have been busy. Really started working in 2002 (at that internet center) Best summer job ever though! Being paid to be on MSN and Denden all day long, nothing I wouldn’t have been doing at home anyway... Then came summer 2003 where I spent it behind closed doors at school for my Pharmacy Tech classes. And from 2004 to now well... you know how it goes. WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK.
But last year I decided things would be different. I always knew about that plan we have at work. That is designed to assist you in financing a leave of absence from work. A deffered salary leave plan. Which basically consists of you taking some time off work and still be paid. Catch is it’s like a loan, so you have to reimburse that money over a couple of months, years even depending on the length of your absence and the time you want to take to pay your “loan” back. I had been thinking a lot about it for years and I thought that this year would be the perfect time to go for it. Take the summer off. The WHOLE summer off. It has been 10 years.
So in march of 2010 walked into my boss’ office and basically told her that since I’m pretty much never gonna expulse a baby out of my uterus since all I have there is a penis (last time I checked), and since I’m never gonna be leaving on a paternity leave (since kids are not really in my life plan right now), I decided that I would like to take six months off for MOI. Her first question was “what are you gonna do?” and I simply just replied “NOTHING.” That was the whole point behind it. No schedule for the first time in 10 years. Doing what you wanna do for 6 months. Sounds too good to be true eh? Well guess what, I’m doing just that.
Now of course this doesn’t come without making any sacrifices. Budget wise, you gotta be sure you can afford it. I’m at 90% of my full salary for the next 5 years (3 and a half left now). Which is not that big of a deal but you can see a bit of a difference at the end of the month in your wallet. But since I’ve never been really all about money, it’s totally worth it. My time is much more precious.
A lot of people have asked me why I was doing this. If I was sick... Which is not the case. Work wise, everything was really good. And if you’ve read my last post, everything is really fine à la maison! Happilly married man talking here ;) What I’m gonna say next will sound really cheesy and cliché but I really wanted to find my way back to me. For the last couple of years I’ve been so overwhelmed with work and with life in general that I sometimes feel I’m getting lost in the routine of it all. I don’t want to wake up one day and forget who I once was. And it’s already happening. Reading all those previous posts in my journal, like I said, I don’t even recognize who that boy was. I know it was me back then, but I’ve so completely changed, for the better I know, but still it’s like a whole other person. And I’m probably trying to chase old feelings here but I don’t care. I just felt the need to pull the plug off and get back to me. Whatever that ME is nowadays. Years later.
Six months, from April 1st to October the 1st of this year. Six months to do whatever I want! Now as I’m writing this, I’m already 4 and a half months in and let me tell you, it’s the best thing in the world. Even better than I had imagined. I was actually stressed out in March, thinking about it. Wondering if I was gonna be bored at home with nothing to do. Little did I know. Of course being the organised freak that I am, I had a to-do list full of projects to keep me busy. A list I had been working on for over a year. And the best thing about it is I actually went through with it. You know how sometimes you make plans and just don’t go through with them, well I can gladly say I won’t have any regrets there. So far, I pretty much did everything I wanted to do, to the exceptions of a very few things.
The thing I’m most proud of is taking up jogging. We have this annual marathon in Montreal at the end of September and since my boyfriend is planning to do the 10k run this year (he did the 5k run last year), I thought that I would join him. I had six months ahead of me to get to that point. And so far, it’s been quite a journey! Started on my first day off! I was out there in the streets on April 1st like an April fool, running for my life. I was out of breath after 7 minutes, and then came back home walking after 12 minutes seeing black spots. I followed this 10k in 10 weeks training program I found in some random magazine for about a month after I decided to do it on my own terms. And guess what, I actually managed to get to 10k by week twelve. Takes me between 55 to 60 minutes now to run 10k. Which to me is unbelievable. I was so not in shape. And now, 4 months later, I run 3 times a week. It’s like a drug.
Apart from jogging? Well at the beginning of April I went on a spring cleaning frenzy. I had all the time in the world so everything in the house got a scrub. Even the walls. Not that they needed it but oh well. Another thing I wanted to do during my time off was READ. Spend afternoons on the terrace reading. HEAVEN. I think I went through a dozen of books since April (see my reading list below!). I also wanted to make some time to play the piano. I started playing back in September of last year when I was determined to get myself a hobby. And guess what, I absolutely love it. It’s hard work though. And it’s true what they say, practice does make it perfect. And now I have all the time to play whenever I want without feeling rushed. I’ve been working on this one piece for months now (since February to be exact) and I’m almost finished learning it. Only Hope from A Walk to Remember. I KNOW, I KNOW, it’s gay but I don’t care. And while we’re talking about things all gay, you know I revisited the entire Spice Girls catalogue. Music to my hears. Literally.
It’s nice to recharge your brain with all things very gay. Like catching every episode (even re-runs) of RuPaul’s Drag Race and re-discovering figure’s skating BAD boy Johnny Weir in Be Good: Johnny Weir. I have a whole new respect for him now. What else? Dawson’s Creek. Now I imagine you’re making a face while reading this but oh well. This has to be my favourite TV show. I cried my eyes out watching the series finale back in 2003. Brings back good memories of my teen years and I thought this was the perfect time to revisit Capeside. I’m now watching season 6 and don’t want it to end again. And of course there’s this other thing. I told my parents that I would help them this year with the business. Especially my dad. You know I said that my last real summer off was back in 2001 but during that summer I did do some landscaping/yard work a couple of days a week with my dad and hated every moment of it. I kind of had no choice though. Since I had no real job and he needed help. Spent all my pays on eBay that summer. Those Geri promos were PRICY back then... It’s funny how 10 years later I’m the one who’s offering to help. Things change. I made a commitment to them and I’ve been going back home every week to help out. Without being paid this time. I know it’s appreciated.
But now it’s August and I have less than two months left before I head back to work at the beginning of October. I’m not gonna lie, It’s gonna be hard to go back. Not to the job itself but getting back in that work routine I left more than four months ago. I know the time off will have changed me for the better though. My stress level is ridiculously low and I intend to keep it at the lowest possible. I want to go back with a positive attitude. Not that I wasn’t positive when I left but taking the time off has helped me realised that work doesn’t need to take all that place in your life. I’ll go back knowing that there’s a possibility in a couple of years to repeat the experience. You always have to have something to look forward to. That’s what keeps you alive. The big question is, did those six months off really help find my way back to me? I’m not sure exactly. But I sure do feel refreshed.
Reading list! -
Little Women
The Lost Symbol
Falling Home
Left Neglected
Arranged
Party Monster
Bossypants
The Beach
Sugar and Spice
Summer and The City
Suddenly Last Summer and Other Plays
Deception Point
Eat. Pray. Love.