rant-age.
ah, loves... my internet hates me. it really, really does. also, my life today wasn't grand to me either. i mean, it didn't suck pointedly. but i was quite alone. i went to bed at about two last night, after getting back from the semi-formal dance (how lovely that was!) at 11:30. my sister wakes me at quarter after ten, which was Not enough sleep, and tells me to come up for pancakes. i was thorougly grumpy without even realizing it; she'd assumed i was awake because i was rolling over. no, sir. i was tired. i never got back to sleep. i'm just realizing now how long today has been... excruciatingly long. i think about this morning and it feels like yesterday. things went by so unbelievably slowly, because it was so boring, and i had absolutely nothing to do. the highlight of my day was going to chapters for no reason except to tag along, and reading the first fifteen pages of a Gorillaz biography. that was actually very entertaining, i wish i could buy it. (goddamn, i need to get that job...) i did some driving around for my mom, and that was fine, but i was never really quite in the right headspace for it. by this evening i was in full frustration mode, feeling the effects of my unintentional antisociality. i need a social life Bad. the only real interaction i get is when i go out with Steve. and that makes me so incredibly happy, you know how i love him. but today he was busy doing college applications. so who did i see, who did i talk to? my family. i barely left the house. i talked to ashton because she texted me on her break from work. fuck, i want to get out of here. i'm so Restless! it's 12:30 and i'm tired, but i don't care. i just want to get right Out. i could probably get picked up and go over to Kyle's, but i wouldn't be allowed at this time of night, and god, do i ever not want to stay overnight there. his house is filthy with dirt and dust and cigarette smoke and dog piss and shit. nobody even lets the goddamn dog out to go to the bathroom; he goes in front of the door because nobody will open it. so with all of that, plus the allergic reaction to his Cat, whom i love and adore despite my aversion to 99% of all cats everywhere... sigh. yeah. that house is impossible for me. no matter where i went, i'd just end up going to sleep soon anyways... i'm just so Sick of my own house! my god, today was too much.
there's so many things that i'm half done as of late. my application to Arby's, which is sitting mostly finished on my nightstand, my script for Director's Craft, and my goddamn university applications. i have everything done except reference letters and sending in transcripts of marks, and i was waiting for my report card to come in for that. i got it yesterday. reference letters... i need one last one, and it's from a guy i haven't seen in more than a year, and he wants a video of me singing before he can assess, so he can familiarize himself with my voice again. and of course, now that i need it, i find out that when i take videos with my camera software, the audio and video go out of sync. BLARGH! so that's been bloody impossible. and now that i've practically given up on trying to fix that, there seems to be no easy way to send the damn thing. BLARGH AGAIN!
okay. there's too much anger in this post. maybe tomorrow i'll talk about some nice things. like Steve. but right now... i'm just too tired and too cranky for this. there's still so much more i could be all GRR! about. but i don't want it to persist. sleep will hopefully fix a few things.
there's so many things that i'm half done as of late. my application to Arby's, which is sitting mostly finished on my nightstand, my script for Director's Craft, and my goddamn university applications. i have everything done except reference letters and sending in transcripts of marks, and i was waiting for my report card to come in for that. i got it yesterday. reference letters... i need one last one, and it's from a guy i haven't seen in more than a year, and he wants a video of me singing before he can assess, so he can familiarize himself with my voice again. and of course, now that i need it, i find out that when i take videos with my camera software, the audio and video go out of sync. BLARGH! so that's been bloody impossible. and now that i've practically given up on trying to fix that, there seems to be no easy way to send the damn thing. BLARGH AGAIN!
okay. there's too much anger in this post. maybe tomorrow i'll talk about some nice things. like Steve. but right now... i'm just too tired and too cranky for this. there's still so much more i could be all GRR! about. but i don't want it to persist. sleep will hopefully fix a few things.