(no subject)
so it's been... a long time. i stopped posting because the only thing i talked about was kyle, and i couldn't bear to update on that situation afterwards, couldn't bear to rehash it over and over. basically it went to shit, the girlfriend was still in the picture, my fault for being blissfully ignorant, his fault for being an ass, all in all a total fuckup that left me a little bit broken for a little too long. it's still awkward for me sometimes to see them together or remember, but somehow we're becoming friends again... and i don't mean i can amicably bear his presence, i've been doing that for a while. the part where i might actually let him in again to some degree is starting to happen. i'm not sure what i think about that... we'll see.
anyways! real life things! school was hard, but it was really good. i can't wait to go back. in january a friend of mine from Edmonton whom (proper usage?) i hadn't seen for two years almost to the day visited me there for my birthday, for a four day weekend. in june she (Jamie) made an abrupt decision and applied to my school; in four days she was accepted, in four more i was driving down to Nova Scotia with my father to search for an apartment for she and i to share. in two days of searching, we found a place and in two more, i was home. both of our lives had drastically changed in a process of about two weeks. family of mine has been supplying various pieces of furniture; it's been easier than we thought to fill the place. we're both so excited. we can barely wait to get out of our respective houses and into a place of our own. we want the freedom and the privacy and the pride of ownership. me, i can't wait to get back there. i *love* Acadia, and the town, and my friends, and the whole damn province, and i can't wait to share it all with her.
i'm sort of back with steve. it was a messy summer of just fooling around because i didn't want to commit to anything... which is unusual for me, but makes sense when you take into account how badly my last two attempts at love fucked up. but then it changed back, a little, and i do want the affectionate stuff from him. i like being his girl, i like him being my guy... and yet i know that this time, when i leave for school, i'll actually move on. i have to. it's been a really long time of holding on to him because he makes me happy, makes me feel good, and is a fairly safe choice. but he's not as mature as i am by far, and is content to stay exactly where he is, a 20-year-old boy for the rest of his life. that's not something i want. i deserve to move on and find someone better for me, too. it's been a long time since i've found someone new and exciting, seen something i can get excited about, or had a first kiss. i'm old enough, and i'm going to have the independence to treat it any way i'd like. i'm so hoping to find someone new this year, even if i don't really fall for him, even if it's just a learning experience. i could use one of those.
other, less drastic changes/news:
i finally got new glasses in december; rectangular dark red frames with metallic purple earpieces. =]
i bought some new clothes.
i successfully re-auditioned for BMus.
i got my driver's license.
i can handle my liquor.
i had a trip to Edmonton in July, really loved it.
i got a new phone for my birthday.
i chopped off my hair, got a newer, snazzier cut, stuck red in it. (pictures are on le facebook. i'll post them here by request.)
my sense of humour is as bad as ever.
i went speed dating in the spring, had my first ever non-relationship "first date". it was fun, but no spark.
i'm addicted to a few tv shows now, thanks to my dear friend William... tool haha. Supernatural, Desperate Housewives, House, and Heroes.
plans/hopes/wishes:
keep up the red in my hair, or put more in it.
get a helix piercing. if i can handle that, i'll move on to more.
get a job at school; *try* to pay for my own groceries/apartment. at least become partially financially independent.
maintain summer self-image.
keep taking care of self.
nurture backbone; like self more because of said backbone.
find a boy?
keep ogling Sean. aauuuugh om fucking nom. that'll be a rantpost of its own haha.
get a fish to keep in my apartment.
keep plants in my apartment (basil, dill for cooking. possibly an orchid.)
any questions, laydeez? whoever's reading. i'll try to post more from now on. that'll be one of the goals. if there's some aspect of my life that i've left out and you'd like to hear about, ask away.
much love, T. ♥♥♥
ETA: Olivia Wilde aka Thirteen, om nom nom nom nom. she is unfairly gorgeous.
also, i reconnected with a friend from elementary school tonight via facebook. :) it was really, really nice. she remembers me quite fondly... that really touched my heart.
anyways! real life things! school was hard, but it was really good. i can't wait to go back. in january a friend of mine from Edmonton whom (proper usage?) i hadn't seen for two years almost to the day visited me there for my birthday, for a four day weekend. in june she (Jamie) made an abrupt decision and applied to my school; in four days she was accepted, in four more i was driving down to Nova Scotia with my father to search for an apartment for she and i to share. in two days of searching, we found a place and in two more, i was home. both of our lives had drastically changed in a process of about two weeks. family of mine has been supplying various pieces of furniture; it's been easier than we thought to fill the place. we're both so excited. we can barely wait to get out of our respective houses and into a place of our own. we want the freedom and the privacy and the pride of ownership. me, i can't wait to get back there. i *love* Acadia, and the town, and my friends, and the whole damn province, and i can't wait to share it all with her.
i'm sort of back with steve. it was a messy summer of just fooling around because i didn't want to commit to anything... which is unusual for me, but makes sense when you take into account how badly my last two attempts at love fucked up. but then it changed back, a little, and i do want the affectionate stuff from him. i like being his girl, i like him being my guy... and yet i know that this time, when i leave for school, i'll actually move on. i have to. it's been a really long time of holding on to him because he makes me happy, makes me feel good, and is a fairly safe choice. but he's not as mature as i am by far, and is content to stay exactly where he is, a 20-year-old boy for the rest of his life. that's not something i want. i deserve to move on and find someone better for me, too. it's been a long time since i've found someone new and exciting, seen something i can get excited about, or had a first kiss. i'm old enough, and i'm going to have the independence to treat it any way i'd like. i'm so hoping to find someone new this year, even if i don't really fall for him, even if it's just a learning experience. i could use one of those.
other, less drastic changes/news:
i finally got new glasses in december; rectangular dark red frames with metallic purple earpieces. =]
i bought some new clothes.
i successfully re-auditioned for BMus.
i got my driver's license.
i can handle my liquor.
i had a trip to Edmonton in July, really loved it.
i got a new phone for my birthday.
i chopped off my hair, got a newer, snazzier cut, stuck red in it. (pictures are on le facebook. i'll post them here by request.)
my sense of humour is as bad as ever.
i went speed dating in the spring, had my first ever non-relationship "first date". it was fun, but no spark.
i'm addicted to a few tv shows now, thanks to my dear friend William... tool haha. Supernatural, Desperate Housewives, House, and Heroes.
plans/hopes/wishes:
keep up the red in my hair, or put more in it.
get a helix piercing. if i can handle that, i'll move on to more.
get a job at school; *try* to pay for my own groceries/apartment. at least become partially financially independent.
maintain summer self-image.
keep taking care of self.
nurture backbone; like self more because of said backbone.
find a boy?
keep ogling Sean. aauuuugh om fucking nom. that'll be a rantpost of its own haha.
get a fish to keep in my apartment.
keep plants in my apartment (basil, dill for cooking. possibly an orchid.)
any questions, laydeez? whoever's reading. i'll try to post more from now on. that'll be one of the goals. if there's some aspect of my life that i've left out and you'd like to hear about, ask away.
much love, T. ♥♥♥
ETA: Olivia Wilde aka Thirteen, om nom nom nom nom. she is unfairly gorgeous.
also, i reconnected with a friend from elementary school tonight via facebook. :) it was really, really nice. she remembers me quite fondly... that really touched my heart.