you're not suffering by yourself

[findmeaning]

Who: The Doctor and Holen
What: Holen's vampire instincts are starting to take over, and The Doctor being the only one to know about them, he decides to go find her and help her despite her wishes.
When: Sometime after this thread
Where: Somewhere outside.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: None in particular.

Comments

[findmeaning]

He watched her in silence, in that movement that was entirely blink-and-you'll-miss-it, but a quick glance at the ground where the tablet had been confirmed it was now gone, and, from the expression as Holen swalloed, that it was now doing the work it had been asigned to do.

All he had to hope that it would work... eighty-five percent sure was enough, right? Even though he would have liked to have been more sure before giving it to her, but that had been impossible given the circumstances.

As for what happened then, as relief seemed to wash over him for a moment, was the look of horror on her face. He didn't have to be a doctor, a timelord, just nothing but a normal man to recognize that she was clutching at a heart she wasn't supposed to have beating.

The Doctor was at her side in an instant, the stephoscope previously shoved in his pockets in his hands again, close to her to make sure she wouldn't fall and that she could clearly see what he was doing.

Badum, badum, ba- pause. Nothing but hollow echoing for a second or two. -dum, ba- badum. He could swear that was exactly like what his hearts sounded-

He snapped off that thought-track insanely quickly. "Heartbeats?" he questioned, more to himself than to Holen. "Breathe, Holen, breathe..." he said reassuringly. She had to remember how to do that, of all things...

[liesarethetruth]

Now her hunger had been calmed - his presence was more than welcome.

In confusion and panic, she clung to him, latching a hand meekly onto his shirt as she struggled to cope with the sudden, unexpected re-appearance of her pulse.

What was going on?

Breath, Holen, Breath...

Doing as instructed was the only thing she could do; as it was, at the moment, the only thing she knew how.

The hammering was painful as she executed the proceedures of breathing. She made quiet gasps, her eyes filling with paniked, bloody tears. They tinged her face scarlet as they rolled down her cheeks.

It'd slowed, thumping even harder in it's last beats before it was silent.

And suddenly, the heart which was -just for a muinet- so full of life, lay once again dead in her chest.

She was dead again...

[findmeaning]

The Doctor kept a firm hold of her, his expression still partially cautious but more so relaxed yet filled with surprise, concentrating on keeping her steady. He took note of the hand on his shirt- that he was her lifeline at the moment, and loose that link and then she would probably fall into manic panic.

"Breathe," he repeated, quietly, stephoscope still in his ears. "That's it... breathe..." absently, he wiped a tear from her face. He had to be the calm one here.

He was lost in his thoughts for a moment, listening to the beats of the heart seeming to even out, like any normal human's heart would. Maybe he'd been listening too hard before when it had sounded like one trying to kickstart another? Of course he was, that was ridiculous--

And then he was brought back to the small patch of grass outside Lebenfried when the beating suddenly stopped banging against his eardrums. Gone, silent... like a vampire.

[liesarethetruth]

The only pulse she could feel now was the Doctor's, beating softly against her palm.

The tears kept comming as she shook. She tried desperatly to steady herself, but nothing worked.

She didn't need to breath anymore - so she stopped. The air would fall deaf on her lungs and only hinder her, rather than helping.

She stared at his arm, not sure wether she could look up in fear of him not being there when she did.

Strange thoughts danced in her head. She shook them out...

Thank god for him.

[findmeaning]

It took him a couple of seconds longer than it probably did Holen to figure what had happened. And when it did, he held her tighter in reassurance; placing his arm properly around her shoulder, still allowing her to cling onto his other sleeve.

There wasn't much he could say to her right now that would hurt her more. It was his fault she'd been through that, the hope of gaining something she'd thought lost and loosing it moments later. Putting her through having those tableets he didn't even knew worked, those theories that had popped into his head that had probably escaped, her, and... everything else that had happened in the last few minutes. A long explanation or reasonings was not what she needed, as he felt the wet tears fall onto the back of his hand that was holding her shoulder.

There were a couple of words she needed right now. Just two words.

"I'm here," he said softly.

(ooc: And the tears come streaming down your face, when you loose something you can't replace -- lights will guide you home, and I will try to fix you. (totally fits right now. XD;)

[liesarethetruth]

I'm here

It was here that, if it was still beating, she was sure her heart would've been filled with some sort of emotion. happiness? sadness? But she was numb...

She didn't know what she would be feeling, but it exloded out of her anyway.

Her shoulders shook. Holen tightened her grip on The Doctor's shirt.
He was here, right here.

Her biggest comfort ... She turned her face into him...
And she sobbed.

[findmeaning]

The Doctor hadn't entirely expected that response, but he didn't show it in his expression or actions, as he slowly tightened his grip around her shoulders, as he felt his shirt dampen. Comforting silently with actions rather than words... he could do that.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said quietly, in an attempt to reassure her. Just so she knew that she could cry for as long as she wanted to... whatever she wanted, be it hit him or kick him or scream, he'd endure and not leave her side.

The Doctor never abondoned someone after everything. Never.

[liesarethetruth]

Through her sobbing and her hiccups - She could bearly manage this:

" t..thank you..."

Afterwards, She tried so hard to stop her crying, biting her lip in order to control herself. Her chest struggled against her, but she managed to fight off her fit of tears.

" Doctor..... " She stayed next to him, unmoving." I.. I'm sorry..." She whiped her face.

[findmeaning]

He didn't say anything to her until she finished her thanks- and nodded to her first response with a weak smile. "Anytime," he said slowly.

The Doctor waited for Holen to calm herself, feeling the shaking figure that he was now almost holding to him in the fear that she'd fall apart if he didn't. But the tears slowed, and eventually he could hear and see that they had stopped.

At her last response, he didn't say anything for a few seconds, looking down at her. "You've got nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who should be sorry," he paused. "I'm the one who gave you hope and then shattered it into millions of pieces."

[liesarethetruth]

She listened carfully to his words...

" No... Don't be silly... " She tilted her head to look up to him, trying to smile for his sake. It came out exhausted, but still there.

" I might've gone crazy if it wasn't for you..." Truely not knowing an outcome was a scary thing when you're right on the edge. " I could've done anything."

That was the scariest thought.

She didn't want to let go - Still getting use to having still in her chest. That had been a weird experience.

" why did... my heart re-start?" He might know...

[findmeaning]

"You're welcome," The Docto said again, seeming to take her slight smile to heart and cheering up slightly. He caught and changed emotions like wildfire, even though the frown and worry was still clear in his eyes.

"... your heart restarting?" He paused. "It shouldn't have. But I wasn't entirely honest- I was nearly sure about that tablet working. About eighty-five percent. And when it did that, I don't know why..." he frowned. "I bet I made it wrong, or something."

[liesarethetruth]

He seemed to have cheered up a little.
Seemed.
Holen listened to his words carfully.

" How would it've been made wrong? It seems to have done its job..." She shifted a little, nervous at those words. "I mean, even though I'm this close to you - I don't want to bite you. Minuets ago I would've without a .... without a thought."

Her eyes were slowly fading back to their perfect mossy green, the kind of colour which'd stain the bark on an ancient oak.

[findmeaning]

Being The Doctor, he seemed to not be bothered about the fact he'd stared death straight in the face minutes before, and that Holen really could've hurt him. He was the kind of man who didn't dwell on the past... because it hurt him. A lot.

"Well, that part, obviously, seems to have done the trick- what it was supposed to do- but the heart restarting..." once again, he paused, scratching his chin in thought. "Might be the blood I used with the sideaffect... giving a human Time Lord blood might not have been such a brilliant idea..."

[liesarethetruth]

Holen raised an eyebrow...
" I.. guess not."

She paused for a moment.... " A time lord?"

Sounded posh.
Holen struggled to sit up, but managed, shifting herself to face him. She was intruiged. Well and truely.

[findmeaning]

His smile seemed whole at her curiousness. "Me," he said pleasently, nodding once. "Such a proud race on that old planet-" he said, smiling, his voice gushing with emotion as he talked about it. "-there were so many of us. As a child you saw the rawness of the universe, of time and space, and- some were inspired, some ran. I was one of the one's who ran," he added as a little sidenote, chuckling to himself. "Either way- that's a timelord. Someone who can travel in time and space thanks to the TARDIS."

[liesarethetruth]

" so... That was your blood.. Okay." She thought, absorbing the information like a sponge.

" You ran?"

Sounded a little like her... To run...