What I learned, Final Weekend
I don’t know that my lists are ever solely “what I’ve learned,” but more observations, some of which happen to be in the form of lessons learned. That being said, for ease of identification, I will continue to call them WIL.
- I am spoiled rotten. I have these friends who make me laugh so hard my face hurts, hold my hand while I try not to cry, cheer for me when I succeed and help me fix what went wrong when I fail. I couldn’t ask for more.
- Or rather, I shouldn’t, but sometimes I do. I ask for presents. And I’m still surprised when I get them. This weekend, I was showered with gifts and words of encouragement. I feel incredibly loved. I always know that I am loved, but I don’t always feel it. This weekend I felt it.
- There are some situations that are just awkward. Not bad, or angry, or anything else, just… uncomfortable. I don’t like being at a loss for words, and sometimes there is no graceful exit. I can only hope that my smile and sincere warm wishes are enough to cover the lack of substance in my brain.
- If I worked harder, I would be happier. This is sort of my lesson of the season-finding the balance between happiness and exhaustion. I think I’ve let fear of exhaustion become an excuse for not working as hard as I could/should.
- Sometimes the scariest part of achieving a goal is actually sharing that goal with another person. Once it’s out there, you can’t ignore it. I took a brave step and shared a goal, and now I need to work hard to make it happen.
- I made new friends this week. That feels good. Actually, I made some new friends this season, and that’s cool too.
- I like buying presents. It makes me all warm and fuzzy to imagine making my friends smile.
- Saying thank you to a veteran will make both of us tear up.
- Watching all the yellow ribbons march by will make me cry.
- Roughly 10% of our cast has the honor to march in that parade.
- I still have a hard time believing that beautiful people think I’m beautiful… at least, beautiful people who don’t know me well. It surprises and delights me coming from my friends, but I don’t disbelieve it. Beautiful strangers, or just acquaintances, make me wonder if they’re just being nice. It may be neurotic, but that’s the way my brain works.
- Having someone who hasn’t seen me in over a year exclaim, “Wow, you’re skinny!” will make me blush three shades of puce. Since the scale says I’m the same as I ever was (give or take water & clothes on any given day [since I can’t weigh myself naked at the office]) I’ll chalk that up to being squishy and in a bodice, or a distorted mental picture.
- I dislike failures (actual or perceived) in front of my friends ten times more than in front of strangers. I don’t like either one though.
- I know that some people just don’t want to play. For the first time I met people who just didn’t want to play with me. They were perfectly receptive to the subject matter so long as it was coming from someone else… that’s a fun lesson in humility.
- Babies with hair schmutz make me ridiculously happy.
- My parents are ridiculously wonderful. I love it when my mom almost cries when she hugs us because she’s missed us so much. I love her funky jewelry and her great hats. I love my dad’s laugh and his backpack full of “just in case” things.
- Celeste may be Lilli with a different job, which is to say, me in funny clothes, but it’s still fun to find those different parts of me and let them out to play.
- Pulling out “mom face” and “Eat your vegetables” to grown men was fun.
- I want to develop some more active bits, or at least actually do some of the ideas in my brain