Ding is a hard game and the rules change with the dinger. I felt mostly useless in that game this weekend.
The concept of "Ding, I want ________" was helpful. I think having a direction to go in is nice.
The door in the back of my brain has rusty hinges of late. I don't remember that being much of a problem before, but this weekend it happened a lot.
Sometimes I can't tell if people are laughing because I'm making an utter fool of myself or because what I'm saying or doing is actually working in some weird, wacky way.
Either way, if I make my brother laugh, I consider it a job well done.
I'm finding myself less graceful under pressure these days. Standing in the circle, I have 100 ideas for the person playing the game. Stick me in the middle and I sputter. I don't like that.
I need to work on association more
I need to relax and not strive for elusive perfection.
I don't like not doing well, though I suppose no one does. I especially don't like feeling as though I am not doing well at something that I used to be good at.
Either I'm worse than I once was or I was never as good as I once thought. Neither is a comforting thought.
I remember the exercises from last year's "You are not your job" Lab and I'm trying to focus on Celeste's personality instead of just her hobby.
This requires that I find her personality...the "absent-minded" in "absent-minded professor."
I will say that doing this helped me tremendously in the Apocalypse Lab on Sunday, because I used her forgetfulness as the launching point for a bit that then became about stars and the universe, but it started with her personality.
Guerilla first thing in the morning is intimidating. I need Improv first to warm up my brain.
I'm still struggling to find the ways that Celeste is different from Lilli. Right now, she feels very much like Lilli with a different job, which to be honest is really just me (exaggerated) with a different job.
This makes me feel a bit like a one-trick pony. Combine that with the fact that Celeste thus far has one bit done 12 ways and I'm really wanting to stretch and find new things.
This may also explain why I am having so much trouble separating Celeste from her hobby.
I realize that this list seems very negative. It wasn't a bad weekend, just a little hard. Honestly, over all, I had a good time and think I learned some good stuff. I realize that it is good to be pressed and stretched because that's how we grow. It's just uncomfortable.
I admire the performers who make brave choices--characters drastically different from themselves, the highly physical ones, the dramatic and memorable ones.
I am actually quite timid in my choices, choosing to draw on what I know rather than stretch to do something new and foreign.
Even so, I am learning and remembering more about the things that I only dabble in, like astrology.
I like when instructors explain how they get from point A to Q. It helps me understand the outcome if I can see the process. I also like being given choices and tools rather than just asked to produce results.