Lemme see if I can answer all of those questions in order. Yes, yes, I think I can do this.
The short version...
Did some city-hopping when I got to China, got my debit card stolen by some complete ho and had to magically engineer a plane ticket outta nowhere.
Got to my final dropoff point, and shit began approaching the fan.
Five minutes later, that fan took a serious hit.
Ate some sweet sweet Chinese food for 3 months, with a little Italian and Indian thrown in the mix.
Had sex with sooooo so so many AZNs. Like, I think I made up for all the years of celibacy in about 3 months. Chinese chixxx don't sit around and play games, they just give you that look and then it's on. Which is great when you're in a time crunch like I was.
Got black lung from the local coal plant. It's a good thing I didn't go when I was 20, cuz I probably have cancer.
Got stalked by my 8am teacher, cuz she decided we were perfect for each other. Well, the data has just come back, and it appears she was wrong. So I only went to class for the first two weeks of March.
Finally had a falling-out with Kazakhstan, cuz they would NEVER STFU AND LET ME SLEEP. So I had to train a Tajik army at the gym, and both our sides settled on a stalemate and everyone had to walk away.
Made a lot of good friends from China and elsewhere, scored THREE lucrative job offers. Basically, once I finish college, I can do whatever the hell I want over thar if I decide to go back.
Almost got mugged once, until the d00dz trying to ambush actually got a good look at me and realized I was capable of slaying them. They aborted the mission.
Almost got run over like a hundred times, cuz Xi'an is the International AZNs Who're Bad At Driving Academy.
Got a near-fatal case of food poisoning, came back from the dead 3 days later.
Lost a few pounds, not just from the tapework but also from the lifestyle. Like, I have ABS. I've never had abs, cuz the last time I was lean enough to have abs I was like 16 and didn't have fat OR muscle. I'll show you them in a non-gay way sometime.
AND THEN the ground started shaking, and it didn't stop for two weeks. I'm sure it's winding down now that I've finally left, but there was a long stretch there where I couldn't sleep without the bed rattling me awake at 4am.
Yeah, that's the short version. I think I'm gonna give this LJ thing another brief whirl before I officially decide whether or not to can it once and for all, but in the meantime we'll still be here with ya.
And Hooters wouldn't hurt, but despite rumors to the contrary there are actually b00bz in China. Just no buttz, which mostly made me cry. But still, Hooters definitely wouldn't kill me.
The short version...
Did some city-hopping when I got to China, got my debit card stolen by some complete ho and had to magically engineer a plane ticket outta nowhere.
Got to my final dropoff point, and shit began approaching the fan.
Five minutes later, that fan took a serious hit.
Ate some sweet sweet Chinese food for 3 months, with a little Italian and Indian thrown in the mix.
Had sex with sooooo so so many AZNs. Like, I think I made up for all the years of celibacy in about 3 months. Chinese chixxx don't sit around and play games, they just give you that look and then it's on. Which is great when you're in a time crunch like I was.
Got black lung from the local coal plant. It's a good thing I didn't go when I was 20, cuz I probably have cancer.
Got stalked by my 8am teacher, cuz she decided we were perfect for each other. Well, the data has just come back, and it appears she was wrong. So I only went to class for the first two weeks of March.
Finally had a falling-out with Kazakhstan, cuz they would NEVER STFU AND LET ME SLEEP. So I had to train a Tajik army at the gym, and both our sides settled on a stalemate and everyone had to walk away.
Made a lot of good friends from China and elsewhere, scored THREE lucrative job offers. Basically, once I finish college, I can do whatever the hell I want over thar if I decide to go back.
Almost got mugged once, until the d00dz trying to ambush actually got a good look at me and realized I was capable of slaying them. They aborted the mission.
Almost got run over like a hundred times, cuz Xi'an is the International AZNs Who're Bad At Driving Academy.
Got a near-fatal case of food poisoning, came back from the dead 3 days later.
Lost a few pounds, not just from the tapework but also from the lifestyle. Like, I have ABS. I've never had abs, cuz the last time I was lean enough to have abs I was like 16 and didn't have fat OR muscle. I'll show you them in a non-gay way sometime.
AND THEN the ground started shaking, and it didn't stop for two weeks. I'm sure it's winding down now that I've finally left, but there was a long stretch there where I couldn't sleep without the bed rattling me awake at 4am.
Yeah, that's the short version. I think I'm gonna give this LJ thing another brief whirl before I officially decide whether or not to can it once and for all, but in the meantime we'll still be here with ya.
And Hooters wouldn't hurt, but despite rumors to the contrary there are actually b00bz in China. Just no buttz, which mostly made me cry. But still, Hooters definitely wouldn't kill me.
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