at least my cats love me
i really want to express my feelings right now. but i just don't know how to word them.
i will say this though. i am jealous. really really jealous. i shouldn't be. but i am. probably because this person who i am jealous of has had "love". i haven't. that's one thing that i want more than anything. is just to love and be loved in return. it seems that i love but i am not loved in return. i hate this. i hate being jealous. i hate it. all that person can talk about is the other person. how great they are, how attractive they are. i hate it. i feel like punching a wall for 18 years.
i am heartbroken. i don't know how to act. all i know how to do is mask how i feel. all i know how to do is just bear my teeth to the harsh winds that come my way. i can't tell anyone. i don't want to lose a friendship because of jealousy. i guess that i will do what i know, i will smile when my skies are grey.
they say all you need is love. that love is all you need. don't i deserve to be loved? don't i deserve to be loved for who i am inside? i hate the way i feel. i hate me.
i will say this though. i am jealous. really really jealous. i shouldn't be. but i am. probably because this person who i am jealous of has had "love". i haven't. that's one thing that i want more than anything. is just to love and be loved in return. it seems that i love but i am not loved in return. i hate this. i hate being jealous. i hate it. all that person can talk about is the other person. how great they are, how attractive they are. i hate it. i feel like punching a wall for 18 years.
i am heartbroken. i don't know how to act. all i know how to do is mask how i feel. all i know how to do is just bear my teeth to the harsh winds that come my way. i can't tell anyone. i don't want to lose a friendship because of jealousy. i guess that i will do what i know, i will smile when my skies are grey.
they say all you need is love. that love is all you need. don't i deserve to be loved? don't i deserve to be loved for who i am inside? i hate the way i feel. i hate me.