there you go
I got two hours of sleep last night..it's my own fault though. I was on the phone with this incredible woman. She rocks my socks. She is beautiful, intelligent, and has a great sense of humor. She is everything I have ever looked for in a woman. We like the same movies, lots of the same music...sounds great doesn't it??? She is married and loves her husband very much. Now i respect that and you all know I am not a home wrecker and would never dream trying to do or say anything to jeopardize her marriage. It kills me though.
I got to spend some time with "the girl" today. It really shocked me that she showed up at my house. We haven't spent anytime together in a few weeks. My best friend asked me if I got some booty..I told her no..I got something better than booty. I got time. Time was all I was needing. She makes me so happy and so mad at the same time. I know her sense of humor is different and I think I was being a little hypersensative about somethings. I think it's because I was tired and she was tired. I was taking things far, far to seriously. I love spending time with her. Holding her hand, looking in her eyes, kissing her, holding her...god. She is still telling me that she doesn't want to date anyone until December. She says it is because she isn't over her ex who treated her like shit...that makes sense...she is also worried about her grades and I don't blame her a bit for that.
I just wish she reacted to me the way my married friend does. Sometimes it feels like nothing I do or say impresses her. I know she is grateful for the things I do for her...but I don't think she cares if I do them. I wish I didn't care about this. I wish I could just let it be what it is until it's something else. I just don't think she will ever let it be something else. She isn't open to it. I am not the type to give a shit if other people know about us..but at the same time I'm not in the closet..don't ask me to be.
She drives me up the wall and loves the fact that she has that power over me. She loves to make me say please...and I secretly like the fact that she runs things but I don't like the fact that she is mean about it. I know part of her mean-ness is her weird sense of humor. She admitts she speaks before she thinks.
I got to spend some time with "the girl" today. It really shocked me that she showed up at my house. We haven't spent anytime together in a few weeks. My best friend asked me if I got some booty..I told her no..I got something better than booty. I got time. Time was all I was needing. She makes me so happy and so mad at the same time. I know her sense of humor is different and I think I was being a little hypersensative about somethings. I think it's because I was tired and she was tired. I was taking things far, far to seriously. I love spending time with her. Holding her hand, looking in her eyes, kissing her, holding her...god. She is still telling me that she doesn't want to date anyone until December. She says it is because she isn't over her ex who treated her like shit...that makes sense...she is also worried about her grades and I don't blame her a bit for that.
I just wish she reacted to me the way my married friend does. Sometimes it feels like nothing I do or say impresses her. I know she is grateful for the things I do for her...but I don't think she cares if I do them. I wish I didn't care about this. I wish I could just let it be what it is until it's something else. I just don't think she will ever let it be something else. She isn't open to it. I am not the type to give a shit if other people know about us..but at the same time I'm not in the closet..don't ask me to be.
She drives me up the wall and loves the fact that she has that power over me. She loves to make me say please...and I secretly like the fact that she runs things but I don't like the fact that she is mean about it. I know part of her mean-ness is her weird sense of humor. She admitts she speaks before she thinks.