October 2012 Monthly Entry
We're in the early fall season and the rains have finally come, albeit pretty early. November is more rainy than October as it seems weird that since a couple Fridays ago it has been raining on and off with little peaks of sun. The leaves are coming down slowly and a minority of trees are changing from their summer green colour. Maybe I'll get some fall photos this year.
Work has been normal lately. The week my manager was gone was pretty awesome. Either than a couple of snags, I came in considerably late and left considerably earlier than usual. The way I figure it, I virtually never take vacation time and could use some extra sleep and extra time to do stuff at home. My manager's dad had to handle everything so it left the door open to do my work and not worry much. I didn't have to program any fobs or go to another building (except the condo at SFU as usual). For a couple of weeks, I was helping the janitor of the other strata push back in the large garbage/cardboard bins and recycle containers. I got paid $60 in those two weeks. My manager usually doesn't want me to do it but if I do volunteer, then I have to work half and hour more to make up for lost work time. I usually end up going at my usual time anyways LOL! Last Thursday, my coworker who cleans the other two buildings had some medical emergency and will be out of commission for a few months. Seems like last year all over again. There is a new woman who is taking over his buildings so I'll be showing her the ropes until she can determine her own routine.
A couple of major things happened that have made my relationship to Daddy David go back to the way it was pre-2012. When I mentioned about David talking to me around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur last month, I expected something good to come from it. I was wrong. September 19 we met at a "Japanese" restaurant (run by Koreans) called Koi which was on Shaughnessy Street after my shift. I arrive first and then him around 20 minutes later. He hands me a letter, "Teshuvah" (repentance). I read it, knowing beforehand that this was the non-negotiable stuff. He begins about the usual complaint of my living in a world in which "nothing changes", that he "subsidized" my living for years until his decrease in income and my failure to find a job with a living wage to rectify this. He admits I finally got my driver's license but that I don't practice so all the skills I learned from the lessons I had last summer will be for naught. In his last paragraph, despite the positives he ends with this: "As your mentor, I have failed utterly. Therefore as we have discussed again and again, you will be moving at the end of June to wherever you choose. I regret very highly that I have wasted the last ten years and eight months of your life and hope you learn the skills that you so sadly lack, as soon as possible." He signs "in sorrow", ex-Daddy David. I didn't think much after reading this letter. We hardly talked during dinner and acted like not much happened. I wanted to answer against what he wrote and defend myself but I didn't want to cause drama in the restaurant. I was thinking how David did Teshuvah with our friend Peter earlier in the week which Peter relayed to me was a good experience. I hoped for the same thing. But what went through my mind was, "is this real repentance? or did he just contradict Jewish teaching?" I didn't say much to any of my buddies online that night. But next day at work, David's letter sunk into me and I became very upset and depressed. I was texting friends and talking to a couple online later. The issue that stuck out for me was what I thought about repentance, from a personal and Christian view. While I'm not a Jew and don't know much about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I did know that part of it is for Jews to apologize and make right any wrongdoing toward their fellow man. Reading David's letter, there was no such thing. In fact, it was a letter that he was throwing in the towel because he would have to admit wrongdoing and make up with me. Instead, he chose to duck it and only admit failure. I took great offense that he thought he wasted over 10 years of my life. I've never thought that. The last 3 years have been questionable but I've stuck around with him through thick and thin. He easily forgets everything I have written, especially all the highs and lows in our relationship. Throughout the week, I felt very down. I got a text from LeatherDaddy Scott in Calgary one day asking how I was doing, not knowing what was going on. Both him and his partner Ben are converts to Judaism. I told him a little bit of the situation but felt it would be better if I called him. So the night of September 29 after David went to bed, I called Scott but got Ben instead as Scott fell asleep. It was all right, Ben has known David longer than Scott and has some more understanding of Judaism, having studied it a little longer. I told Ben the situation and he agreed with me that David did not truly repent. He understood that while Christians have their own views of repentance, he agreed with me that this was something you don't trifle with. I also talked about some of the relationship problems David and I have been having this year. One thing I asked him was around the first time we met almost a decade ago and the terms of David introducing the two of us. Ben remembers that on the first day he arrived, David sent him up to my room to introduce himself to me. He also remembers David saying to him that unless he (David), Kevin, and I agree to having Ben be a possible future fourth person in the family, any of us saying "no" meant that he could no longer be considered a prospect. I mention all this because I had to show the difference of David back then versus what he is now. I told Ben that Calvin was not introduced to me earlier this year nor was I asked if he could be a part of us - David mainly kept him to himself and disregarded my opinion. I then asked Ben if he has noticed a change in David and he said yes. I then asked, in his opinion, what could be wrong with David. He believes David may possibly in the extremely early stages of dementia but that's all he could guess. Scott got up and I thanked and said goodbye to Ben. We talked a bit, re-telling him some of the things I told Ben earlier. I hung up sometime after 1am. The next few nights later, I told Calvin about the conversation and he says that he has about had it with David. It would be one of the last times we would talk together...
Couple Tuesdays ago, October 9 I get out of bed to ready myself for work. I noticed under Calvin's bedroom door that his light was on. I thought he left it on by accident so I left without thinking much. At 10:12am David calls me and leaves a voice message. After checking it, Peter calls me about the same news and let me know that David was trying to get a hold of me. I said I was about to call him and would fill him in later. David's voicemail message says that Calvin has left the household - permanently, around 10 minutes prior. I called David back and he told me that Calvin packed up as much stuff as he could in a bag, then announces 5 minutes before going out the front door that he was leaving for good. It caught David off guard. We were supposed to go to a movie that night (movie review below) but given what happened, we postponed it. I said we would talk about this when I got home and about what will happen in the household now. I go through work and talked to Peter later about what David told me. I immediately went home after my shift. Not long after I settle down do David and I talk about the day. From the look of things, David believes Calvin is moving back to Alberta though doubts he will be moving back to his hometown of Cold Lake. Very likely that he quit his job as a transport truck driver before he left. I asked David how he felt. He replied that while he was upset in losing Calvin, in some cases he is relieved that he left. While he considered Calvin a good slave, he said he couldn't handle his emotional outbursts at times, especially after he comes home from work (I'm not around to witness and Calvin's in bed when I get home). Financially, it will be tough as my rent goes up over $200 a month more and David will struggle obviously given all the debt he is in. I've tried to nudge David into looking at the situation: I am once again still standing! Sometime I want to push on him what his months of mistreatment and emotional abuse would have done in the end. He was so prepared to get rid of me and now, he can't and the relationship feels more like 2010/2011 in which we were all we had. I know to never blame myself for what happened. David brought this all upon himself. He banked on Calvin but ended up using and losing him. If I left, he would have been all alone and screwed. I think he kind of does thank his lucky stars that I stuck around but feels no need to apologize for his behaviour or take back the nasty stuff he said to me. Maybe someday, God willing, it will hit him and he'll humble himself. Still, the positive outcome in all this is that David has mostly mellowed out and home life is less stressful and depressing.
VASM had it's 30th Anniversary brunch and AGM on Sunday at the Best Western Chateau Granville. We had the same hostess from last month's Assembly weekend which was awesome! The food was good though turnout was low, about 11 of us. During the AGM, all executive members stepped down, none of them renewed staying on the board. As for the new board, three of the positions were filled but 3 others weren't. My Daddy David became President (he was last President in 2003/2004) while Pat and Wayne M. became Directors at Large. Vacant were the Secretary, Treasurer, and Vice-President positions. I was nominated for Director at Large but declined. I would have taken Secretary but given I'm still with the Knights, I'm likely to continue being on the executive again at next month's AGM.
It's been a year now since David had his mini-stroke. After some lifestyle changes, he has made good progress. He has lost some weight, does more frequent walks, watches what he eats the majority of the time, and goes to his stroke recovery group. While he still has the "pins and needles" feeling on his left side and his left hand still lacking feeling, he has gotten more used to it. I'm hopeful that he will continue to recover, perhaps getting most of the use of his hand back. For Halloween, I plan to do my yearly ritual of watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show while handing out candy (though I hate the interruptions!).
A few Tuesdays ago I saw Finding Nemo 3D at Silvercity in Metrotown. I haven't seen this movie in years, and only once on DVD. It's still a fun film and was obviously ideal in 3D. Just last Tuesday, I took David out to watch The Master at Silvercity in Coquitlam. I was very interested in seeing this movie given that it "symbolically" showcases the founder of the Church of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard. In this case, it is a guy named Lancaster Dodd played by woofy Philip Seymour Hoffman. It's a movie that takes place in 1950 about a World War II vet named Freddie Quell who is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and has an alcohol problem. He cannot seem to function in society. He loses his job as a family photographer after drunkenly assaulting a customer, then as a cabbage farmer he is chased away by Phillipinos after accidentally poisoning an old man with an alcoholic beverage he made up. He drifts away and jumps on some ship about to leave port that seems to have a party going on. In it he meets "The Master", Lancaster Dodd. He is the founder of a movement called "The Cause" and they both take a liking to each other. Dodd loves the drink that Freddie makes, which is revealed to contain paint thinner. Dodd probes Freddie a lot in the movie in psychological questioning called "Processing". Watching this movie, I couldn't help but think that this all screams "Scientology" - minus the aliens and thetans. Of course, if this were truly a movie satirizing Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard, making it all questionable and mocking their founder as a fraud would irk the ire of the Church. Lawsuits would be filed, there would be public statements from Hollywood's Scientologists against the movie, intimidation and harassment... it's not a "faith" to fuck around with. I remember watching CBC's The Passionate Eye last year on how a girl escaped the Scientology cult in Australia and how the Church was controlling - treating their members like slaves and would not let them to see their families (especially if you defect). The episode is called Scientology: The Ex Files. But in the end, Daddy David and I enjoyed The Master. I might get it on DVD or Blu-Ray in the future. I plan to take David to eventually watch Argo which I've been waiting for. I also can't wait to see Wreck-It Ralph which is coming soon.
Star Trek: TNG Season 5 is about one-third done and I may have a review next month. A few weekends ago I watched Disney's Dumbo on Blu-Ray which I haven't fully seen in many years but I first saw it on VHS in the mid-80's. It was a good classic Disney movie and slightly underrated. I'm just starting Resident Evil 5 and finding the game difficult and getting used to the control scheme (it's not really like past RE games). I'll have to play the game on "Amatuer" difficulty so I can get used to things and not die as much. I'm still building up in The Wizard of Oz: Beyond the Yellow Brick Road and just been playing the game slowly. I hope to have it done next month. Oh yes, the book Beyond Opinion is done but haven't had time to write a review on it. Will look into doing it as things settle down.
Last Movie: The Master (Theatrical), Dumbo (Blu-Ray)
Last Book: What Have They Done with Jesus?
Last Game: Assassin's Creed II (PS3)
Current Book: Beyond Opinion
Current Games: Resident Evil 5: Gold Edition (PS3) & The Wizard of Oz: Beyond the Yellow Brick Road (DS)