April 2024 Monthly Entry
Spring has started with some bits of rain, but lately it has been warm and lots of decent sun. The cherry blossoms have been out for awhile and some have already started to bloom into greener leaves.
I've been super busy the last few weeks, but glad I've put up a few entries lately. The one entry late last month I didn't write was the Washington State Leather Organization Contest. I had to cancel going down to Seattle as I caught a flu bug while visiting my mom in the hospital. Started as a sore throat, then went to runny nose, and a minor cough that didn't last long. It took over a week to recover, but I wasn't fully well by March 23rd so I made the decision to cancel my hotel and get a refund. I was out around $70 for a non-refundable bus ticket, but saved $26 on roaming charges on my cell phone for not going. I talked to Daddy Rick -the current Seattle Leather Daddy titleholder- and he said it probably wouldn't have been worth the trip as we wouldn't have been able to spend much time together. He was one of the judges and had to spend hours doing interviews and the contest itself, leaving him tired by the end of it. That was good to hear and perhaps I'll try again next year. I still need to write an entry on the late-Seattle Knight Arnie Norem as I still need to talk to Bryan, his former lover for around eighteen years, who can provide details of his background.
Unlike last year, Spring Break this year was quite shitty to go through thanks to the incompetence of my foreman again. The first two days at Rosser weren't bad, but wasn't a good decision as the painters were then painting in my run: both the gymnasium and room for special needs kids. It meant I couldn't do much to clean them, especially the gym as the floor was covered in plastic sheets and scaffolding was set up to chip off the old paint on the walls. Had they sent me to Rosser the last two days during the break like they usually do, I may have been able to give one or both rooms a proper clean. It wasn't a big deal I found out after I returned from Easter weekend since most of the mess was cleaned up. Even better, the painters were done after over three months of painting everything inside the school. They are now over at Sperling to start an even longer painting project as it is a much bigger school. The gym looks great with a fresh coat of paint, especially the walls with all the scuffs and marks buffed out and painted over. I did have to sweep some of the chipped old paint when I returned, but it wasn't a biggie. But the problem with Spring Break was my being forced into helping clean Burnaby Mountain for two days immediately after Rosser, and Jay had to be there for the first four days! Once again, this incompetence of having to pull out custodians to help a school in which they're struggling due to their own incompetence is getting tiresome. We have casual custodians in need of more shift work that can help but nope, they rather victimize us regulars. My time at Mountain wasn't bad though. I was paired with Ping, the day custodian. I mainly helped autoscrub a bunch of her classrooms. But getting back to Montecito on Friday the 22nd with Jay meant we had to scramble to get our school done by Thursday the 28th as we were off Easter weekend. For Tuesday and Wednesday of the second week, we had Kathy from Forest Grove help us. She mostly helped me, but I didn't agree with cutting corners as I tend to be more thorough in my scrubbing. As our autoscrubber was broken, Jay used the swing machine to do his floors instead. I didn't use the swing machine and just washed my floors as there was no time. I also had a minor incident with Jay though - he wanted me to wash all three of the stairwells, but I thought he wanted me to just wash the one stairwell in the back of the school like I did during Winter Break. I did vacuum and wash those stairs, thinking that he will do the other two stairs. Kathy thought I was going to do all three, but I forgot what my reply was in that those were the stairs that I meant to do. I then leave her to do some stuff while I go and clean the kindergarten portable. Before first break, Jay comes into the portable pissed at me and wondering why I wasn't cleaning the other two stairs. I said that I thought he only wanted the stairs in the back to be done, but he counters that it was supposed to be all three stairs I had promised to tackle and leaves in a huff. I was upset as expected and skipped first break to finish off the kindergarten portable sometime before lunch break. I had to think how I was going to approach Jay and rectify this. When I go back inside the school, I noticed Jay and Kathy talking in the custodial office. At least Jay was no longer pissed. So I asked for clarification on the stairs and explained why I thought that only the back stairs needed to be done - because of the situation during Winter Break. So with that cleared out, I found out Kathy had vacuumed the remaining two stairwells while I was in the portable. I then say that I would wash those two stairwells after lunch, which satisfied Jay. I did so after my lunch break and he was happy with the results. Kathy was back in her school on Thursday and I had a chance to peak into my four rooms downstairs to see if Jay did anything in them compared to the no-work he did back in Winter Break. He did clean them, but just regular clean them so I was disappointed that he didn't put much effort into them. He once again puts a ton of time and effort into scrubbing and waxing and/or buffing floors -that he negates getting his run done during the scrub- and it then kind of passes onto me (ie. the stairs!) It's a weird combination he and I: he can clean his rooms so much faster than me; but then uses up all that extra time on his floors, I take a lot longer to clean my classrooms and sacrifice scrubbing my floors; but I accomplish more and can help him catch up on things in his run. I proved that during last Winter Break within its last two hours. He and I can agree on one thing: we both got screwed by being sent to Mountain this Spring Break. He lost four days worth of scrubbing and I lost two (Rosser is usually required of me.) I'm glad we had Kathy to help us, but this should not have happened.
After Easter weekend, I returned to Rosser and found the painting was done. The kids and staff in both schools didn't destroy our work too quickly. Starting last Thursday, us regular custodians no longer need to fill out time cards. It's something everyone has been doing since the beginning, only now did they finally confirm the rumors going on for years. It isn't a big deal honestly. According to the new protocol, the only time we have to fill out a time card is if we are working overtime or extra hours or if our position temporarily changes (ie. if a custodian has to be acting sub foreman during a scrub.) And it is not to be done on paper anymore either - we do it online. But for regular shifts and absences, we don't have to do anything with the time cards. Casual custodians still have to fill out their paper time cards. The last thing I'll mention about work this month is that I have put in all my vacation time off. I first got approval for my time off in autumn and then just recently got approved for my summer time off. I'm glad all my autumn requests were approved! So I'll be going to Palm Springs Leather Pride and visiting my leather family for American Thanksgiving this year. I used two vacation days for Leather Pride and one vacation day and a .65% day for Thanksgiving. So I'll be paid for all those days. As for summer time off requests, I'll be using two days off for Dore Alley in late July and fourteen days off in August. I'll be left with one vacation day unused, which I plan to bank and use for next year.
Some good news: mom has been out of the hospital since April 8 (sadly, that was the day Daddy David passed away 8 years ago.) I did manage to visit her a few times, and so did my younger sister. My older sister didn't visit her or even call her once. Dad visited her once or twice a day, bringing food and things for her to snack on. With my help, he got a new Samsung Galaxy tablet so my mom wouldn't be too bored. We had to buy a charger for it and my sister helped in getting airpods too. At home, dad did the majority of cooking for him and I, including the weekly soups and even my lunches for work. While not as good as my mom, it was a decent effort on his part. The one thing my father was terrible at was cooking the mini-samosas, spring rolls, pizza pops, etc for my on-the-way-to-work breakfast. He always undercooked them in the toaster oven! Mom always cooked them perfectly. Things have gone back to normal since she has been home. She still needs to go back to the hospital every day for her IV antibiotic treatment. She is feeling better, but still has some minor pain in her lower back and the cysts in her back and leg have not fully healed yet. Until the infection in her spine is killed, it isn't recommended that she go through surgery. Despite the powerful antibiotics, the infection is still lingering in her back. More MRIs will be done on her to track her progress and hope there will be an opening to treat the lingering problems she has. I can tell mom is preparing for the possibility that things will go downhill given her age and health. Please keep my mom in your prayers!
During a shopping trip down to Bellingham in early March, my younger sister finally revealed the reasons she was divorcing her husband. He wasn't abusive toward her - that we knew and was obvious, but he was very controlling within the marriage. Some things I remember her telling me was that things started to slowly go downhill after he got his job with the City of Vancouver over a decade ago. His income went up and for the first time in his life, was making a real good living. Prior to that, he worked meager jobs and even supported his mother at times. When my sister was halfway through her pregnancy, his mother had the gall to approach him and ask him for money around the Christmas season (2005) - when they were struggling to make ends meet at the time and their child was on the way come spring next year. He did give his mother the money, but I believe made it clear to her that it was the last time he would do it. This then may have prompted him to apply for a better paying job to support his family and thus, work for the City where he is till this day, but in a higher position and making a very good income. According to my sister, his making a better income through the years meant he was more protective of it. While he would take care of the majority of expenses in the marriage, he wouldn't allow my sister to spend much and they had separate bank accounts. This put my sister in a bind for which she was stiffed with bills for the things she bought, and had incurred a lot of debt through the years which her husband refused to help pay down. My sister worked lower paying jobs for years until she took a course and became a pharmacist, but it still wasn't enough to bring her debt down. Meanwhile, her husband was buying a couple of cars (though to be fair, he gifted a car to my niece after she got her novice driver's license) so he had no problem spending money on himself, but still kept things separate from his wife. In general, money was one of the major issues that my sister was shying away from her husband. Another issue was the lack of affection from her husband and at times, he could in a subtle way make her feel ashamed. They did have a sex life together (and he even admitted recently to my sister that she gave better sex to him than his current girlfriend), but he wouldn't cuddle or show much affection in other ways. If she cuddled with him on the couch, he would just stoke her head blindly, and that was it. No kiss, no cuddle closer, it felt emotionless at times. They rarely went out together and in fact, they rarely went out on a date. The only time they went out together is if their daughter was with them, but rarely the two of them. The way my sister saw it, he was ashamed to be seen with her in public - his own wife! They have never taken a major trip together in all their years of marriage, except summer drives within the province to visit his mother. In terms of controlling behaviour, he wouldn't permit my sister to cook for the family even though she wanted to, to not buy junk food or things he didn't like (he works out regularly), and a host of other things that challenged his status quo in the marriage. I think this was what prompted last year for them to open their relationship in seeing and playing with others - and he agreed to it. Maybe a year or two prior to that, my sister came out as pansexual which he accepted. Thinking this would lighten the burden, they were seeing other people: she was seeing other men and women, and he was seeing another women. The problem? My sister admitted in her guilt that she slept with another man just before they opened the relationship. My in-law was heartbroken as he was always faithful to her prior to allowing their relationship to be open. Before going down that route, my sister wanted them to go to marriage counseling and try to fix the problems in their marriage, but he refused. During a private meeting upstairs with my sister a couple months ago, he admitted to her that they should have did counseling. Throughout this separation, he was forced to come to grips with how he acted as a husband. The one key thing my sister said to him during a private meeting was: you were a terrible husband to me, but you were a great father to our daughter. This was true, he is a great father to my niece and they have a strong bond together. As for the divorce, there are a couple of things that will help them both. The first is that my brother-in-law had agreed to allow my sister to sell one of the cars so that she could pay off the debt she had for years, and the second was to do the divorce through notary and not get expensive lawyers and divorce proceedings involved. The way they figured it, going through the courts would be more costly and my sister isn't asking for much. Since she had the affair, she agrees that he should get most of their stuff. For the most part, they are being reasonable. Since my niece just turned 18 on April 16, there is no custody battle.
Recently, my sister told my mom that my brother-in-law and niece may move to Burnaby this summer. My niece has decided to start her medical studies at Simon Fraser University come September and my in-law will be a lot closer to work, so it is a benefit for both of them. It's quite sad as my niece has lived with us since birth and now, it's that time for her to leave and lead her own life. This will make the separation between my sister and in-law easier. As for the large downstairs suite: my parents are offering it to me! My rent will go up, but it is very spacious and I'll finally have better privacy. I can finally host friends! But I need to look into furnishing the place since I had to throw out the majority of furniture that was left from David's passing in 2016. I'll worry about that later. It will be a a major financial loss for my parents as my brother-in-law has faithfully paid them rent for nearly twenty years. I still believe my older sister and brother-in-law have to move out sometime and that their suite will be vacated. I'm not sure what will happen to it as I was supposed to be in line to take it - prior to the recent news of my younger sister's husband moving out of his. It's one of those "we'll see" scenarios.
My older sister did my taxes after I came home from the Rubbout weekend on Sunday. I'm getting $3,331.01 in tax refund. I'm honestly a little disappointed... I thought I would get about $4000 given the $700 charity tax receipt I got when I donated my previous car to the Kidney Foundation of Canada. I guess not a high percentage went into my deductible. Sigh. I plan to give some of it to pay down my car payment to my father, which is currently at $1700. I should have it fully paid off before autumn. The rest of my rebate will go to my upcoming trips for the rest of the year.
I received very devastating news last Friday from slave Donovan: pup Nick was killed in a car accident on the night of April 11! He was driving home from work when a truck made an illegal move and struck him. We don't know all the details yet, but what the truck driver did could be considered a felony. I loved pup Nick, he was a great addition to my leather family. When I first visited Wisconsin in 2016, I met him for the first time in Madison as he was a sub for Michael. After Nick's partner Steve passed away in 2017, Michael & Donovan felt it was best he move in with them in New Glarus. This was a smart move given Nick's mental state and he would have a good home to be in. We would see each other on and off, but didn't spend as much time together given his work hours and needing to be with Anthoney. The last I ever saw him was the early morning of August 25 last year, saying goodbye to him before I was taken to the airport. He has an estranged brother that he didn't have contact with as the only surviving family and Anthoney would be considered his common-law husband. I may do a small entry on him later on, but for now, I need to know more from the family first.
I've been so busy that I had no time to play Rise of the Tomb Raider. That should change soon as I'm catching up. I did play some Legacy of Ys: Book I during my Vegas flights earlier in the month. I've watched only one episode of Star Trek: TOS, but I've begun to watch the first five episodes of Harley Quinn on Netflix too.
Last Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 (Theatrical), Akira (Blu-Ray)
Last Book: The C.S. Lewis Signature Classics - The Screwtape Letters
Last Game: Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360)
Current Book: The C.S. Lewis Signature Classics - Miracles
Current Games: Rise of the Tomb Raider (PS4) & Legacy of Ys: Books I & II (DS)