(no subject)
So today is kinda gay. I thought i was going to go to Kristi's birthday party but that doesn't look like it's happening. I hate that no one calls me anymore. no one ever wants to hang out with me and i don't know why....am i a bitch? i just don't understand. I thought kristi wanted me to come and hang out with her for her birthday party but i guess not. i told kassie and amber f to tell her to give me a call when they go a hold of her but that never happened. i feel like such a loser. i'm in such a down mood right now. so right now i'm pretty much just hanging out with my mom, heather, and taylor. not the best thing in the world. i guess we haven't done this in awhile since heather's been in new york for like 6 months before this and she's leaving on wednesday. it sucks. she's the only person that wants to hang out with me and she's leaving me here. it sucks. i feel so worthless right now. i wish things could just be the same like when i used to hang out with heather cassie and josh everyday...or i wish that i could move up to new york with cassie but that's not going to happen cause i have to finish school. i hate it. i just want to leave this place. no one even likes me here probably. I think they're just nice to me because i seem pitiful...i don't know...maybe not everyone. it's probably not true but it's the way i feel right now. i don't want to deal with any of it. i just want to be happy and i feel like i can't be happy until things go back to the way they used to be. i don't even know why. i should be happy i just can't be. i miss so many things right now. i don't even know what else to say.