Dear Lord give us strength.
Okay...so how many times have I said I would update this regularly...? a million? because it seems lately I only write anything when I'm upset. I guess that's what journals are good for though...they're there always but especially when a ventilation shaft is most needed.
By now most if not all of the St. Ann and Search community have heard about Jerry Werkhoven. I cannot tell you how upset I am...words can't even describe it. When Noelle told me yesterday morning I thought my world was crashing in....Jerry is SO dear to me...all the Search adults are but especially him because he was the one who really got me motivated to do things like Search. He always believed in me and showed that he cared...he sent me an email once saying how proud he was of me...that email came at a time when I was at my lowest and it helped keep me going. Jerry's special like that....he loves everyone as if they were the most special person in the world and doesn't hesitate to show it. I wish we all were like that...I have a hard enough time telling my family I love them much less other people.
With the move situation that I've been dealt with...I thought my life sucked because I'm having to decide between my family and then school and friends and church. It's an impossibly hard thing for me to even fathom either outcome...but it's something I've been handed and I'm trying to deal. When I found out about Jerry I knew I had it easy compared to what they are going through. Life sucks sometimes but we all are forced to live it. Bad things happen to the best of people...but we have to trust that there is some silver lining that only a Divine Eye can see. I've been angry at God for allowing this to happen. I think I'm still a little angry actually. At the prayer service last night I
was able to cry...although I sobbed basically the whole day crying in the chapel as John and Paul sang and everyone prayed together it was such a cleansing cry. I felt so drained afterwards like I had finally just let go and let God because I know I can't handle this. I have to trust God knows what He's doing...and if that means Jerry has to go Home sooner than we expected or wanted...then...I dunno.
I love Jerry Werkhoven and his family. God is with you all.
I love You, Lord and I'm trying to put all my trust in you...have patience with me.
~alicia
ps. Another prayer service at St. Ann Chapel at 7pm if anyone wants to come.
By now most if not all of the St. Ann and Search community have heard about Jerry Werkhoven. I cannot tell you how upset I am...words can't even describe it. When Noelle told me yesterday morning I thought my world was crashing in....Jerry is SO dear to me...all the Search adults are but especially him because he was the one who really got me motivated to do things like Search. He always believed in me and showed that he cared...he sent me an email once saying how proud he was of me...that email came at a time when I was at my lowest and it helped keep me going. Jerry's special like that....he loves everyone as if they were the most special person in the world and doesn't hesitate to show it. I wish we all were like that...I have a hard enough time telling my family I love them much less other people.
With the move situation that I've been dealt with...I thought my life sucked because I'm having to decide between my family and then school and friends and church. It's an impossibly hard thing for me to even fathom either outcome...but it's something I've been handed and I'm trying to deal. When I found out about Jerry I knew I had it easy compared to what they are going through. Life sucks sometimes but we all are forced to live it. Bad things happen to the best of people...but we have to trust that there is some silver lining that only a Divine Eye can see. I've been angry at God for allowing this to happen. I think I'm still a little angry actually. At the prayer service last night I
was able to cry...although I sobbed basically the whole day crying in the chapel as John and Paul sang and everyone prayed together it was such a cleansing cry. I felt so drained afterwards like I had finally just let go and let God because I know I can't handle this. I have to trust God knows what He's doing...and if that means Jerry has to go Home sooner than we expected or wanted...then...I dunno.
I love Jerry Werkhoven and his family. God is with you all.
I love You, Lord and I'm trying to put all my trust in you...have patience with me.
~alicia
ps. Another prayer service at St. Ann Chapel at 7pm if anyone wants to come.