scary dream :*(

[learntoskank]

ok .. so lacii woke me up to let her out and then i went back to bed and dozed .. i had this dream ..ok, it took place on the last night that, i remember, i tried to kill myself. i remeber that night so vividly, that i looked in my journal for the entry i wrote that night and it was July5.. the page was has a lot of blood on it ... ANYWAYS, my dreams goes like this, some of it went on in real life.. i was sitting on my bed and i cut the shit our of my arm. and then i wrote in my journal and i was still bleeding. the blood dripped on my journal along with tears.in some effort to write i wiped the blood out of the way (which smeared it ..). when i was done i went to bed hoping that iw ouldn't wake up b/c i was still bleeding when i went to sleep .. well, this is where it started to not be real.. my mom woke me up the next morning and asked if i wanted to go shopping. i sat up in my bed and said, "yeah". then she said my name again. i responded with, "what?" then she said my name again, a little more paniced.. it made no sense because i was sitting up in my bed.. then she came over to my bed and said my name again very paniced and shook me. but not me because i was sitting up, she shook the body underneath me... i was dead. she realized this and ran out of my room and called my dad. i/my ghost got up and looked into my bedroom mirror but i couldn't see me! I could see my arm when i looked at myself, but i couldn't see my reflection. i sat in front of my mirror for a little bit and my dad came home.. he looked really upset and looked at my dead body in my bed, he just started crying... i tried to yell at him and say i was right there but he didn't respond. he took my body out of my bed and my arm was all bloody and it was on my shirt.. i don't remeber much after that, but i remeber a funeral. it was mine and everyone there looked pretty pissed. i remember seeing my parents and michelle, jen, colton, randi, jada (which is weird b/c we werent friends at that time), nathan, cracker, joe, eric, kaitlin, and some of my family, like my brother, sister in law and neice and nephew, i say my mom's side of the family, and my dad's... but the weirdest thing was i saw my grandma who died when i was six sitting next to my dad and he husband, my grandpa that died in febuary sitting next to her. nobody looked all that upset/sad, they looked pissed off. all of them. and impatient to get out of the service... it was weird... ok so that was my dream.. yeah .. weird. but i did wake up .. i hope .. :) heh! i did.

anyways, me and my dad returned my stereo and got a new one .. thats pretty cool! so yeah .. my mom is sick :\

ashley
♥