[CT] Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
"It's time to think for yourself."
A spark, after just six words and something in him stirred. She fled, and Castiel's head started to work of it's own volition. Without orders to follow, real ones, he felt weak and lost. But he felt something, and he had to follow the trail. He wished the trail hadn't lead him so deep and now that he knew truth, he could no longer ignore it.
"What do you say Castiel? Will you join me?"
He was ashamed, shown to be a fool and betrayed by his own brother. The signs were in front of him loud and clear and he had chosen to ignore them and call it faith. He was ashamed to have used his faith for such a purpose and the deaths of his brethren were as much his fault as Uriel's or God's.
"He stopped being that if he ever was -- the moment he created them."
It was happening all over again, as if the first time hadn't been devastating enough. He didn't understand how to feel jealous of the humans, they were made to be loved and protected. Castiel had learned so much by being around them for so little an amount of time and they were precious. He couldn't fathom why Uriel didn't feel the same way.
"God isn't God anymore. He doesn't care what we do, I am proof of that."
Maybe he was right. But Castiel didn't know anything else. He was built to be a soldier and even if his Father was suddenly absent, Castiel would go on at Dean's side as one. It didn't matter where God was, because so much relied on each of them independently. God gave them the tools to do the work, and they needed to earn their places in this beautiful life.
"All you have to do is be unafraid."
"For the first time, in a long time, I am."
Something deep inside Castiel had been stirred up in the recent events. He wasn't sure his feelings were such a bad thing anymore. He found he was frustrated and determined to make things right. The want of his superiors didn't matter so much anymore, all that mattered was that he help Dean succeed. He felt as though rather than stumbling in the dark behind a shield of faith and belief that he would be taken care of, his eyes were open and he was choosing which steps to take. And he was no longer unsure.
Prompt: In every doomed relationship, there comes what I like to call "The uh-oh moment". When a certain little something happens, and you know you've just witnessed the beginning of the end. And suddenly you stop and you think, "Uh-oh, iceberg ahead"
A spark, after just six words and something in him stirred. She fled, and Castiel's head started to work of it's own volition. Without orders to follow, real ones, he felt weak and lost. But he felt something, and he had to follow the trail. He wished the trail hadn't lead him so deep and now that he knew truth, he could no longer ignore it.
"What do you say Castiel? Will you join me?"
He was ashamed, shown to be a fool and betrayed by his own brother. The signs were in front of him loud and clear and he had chosen to ignore them and call it faith. He was ashamed to have used his faith for such a purpose and the deaths of his brethren were as much his fault as Uriel's or God's.
"He stopped being that if he ever was -- the moment he created them."
It was happening all over again, as if the first time hadn't been devastating enough. He didn't understand how to feel jealous of the humans, they were made to be loved and protected. Castiel had learned so much by being around them for so little an amount of time and they were precious. He couldn't fathom why Uriel didn't feel the same way.
"God isn't God anymore. He doesn't care what we do, I am proof of that."
Maybe he was right. But Castiel didn't know anything else. He was built to be a soldier and even if his Father was suddenly absent, Castiel would go on at Dean's side as one. It didn't matter where God was, because so much relied on each of them independently. God gave them the tools to do the work, and they needed to earn their places in this beautiful life.
"All you have to do is be unafraid."
"For the first time, in a long time, I am."
Something deep inside Castiel had been stirred up in the recent events. He wasn't sure his feelings were such a bad thing anymore. He found he was frustrated and determined to make things right. The want of his superiors didn't matter so much anymore, all that mattered was that he help Dean succeed. He felt as though rather than stumbling in the dark behind a shield of faith and belief that he would be taken care of, his eyes were open and he was choosing which steps to take. And he was no longer unsure.
Prompt: In every doomed relationship, there comes what I like to call "The uh-oh moment". When a certain little something happens, and you know you've just witnessed the beginning of the end. And suddenly you stop and you think, "Uh-oh, iceberg ahead"