(no subject)
less than 11 months until im gone and have left this town with its places and people and sights and stories behind
i dont plan on going forever, but i dont know what will happen
i've spent the last little while thinking alot aobut the relationships i have with all of the people i know here...and have come to the conclusion that there are really only a small handful of those friendships which will stay with me. the few people i will miss i think i will miss them dearly. but in the last little while after telling alot of the people who are close to me about my plans i've been written off
i've been told im leaving for all the wrong reasons
so, despite the fact that none of these people read this i am not leaving because
1. i hate it here
2. i hate what i've become...although that took a little bit of tim to figure out
3. i hate the people here
4. there is nothing here for me anymore'
and most importantly,
5. i'm running from a certain person.
that last one needs some clairity. sometimes multiple things happen at the same time in someone's (my) life. but they have absolutely nothing to do with one another. i am not leaving because of what happened...if i was i would have left right away and not sorted out a relationship with one of the most important people i ever have and ever will know and care about.
but now that i am leaving and it is set in stone im fucking glad. i get to see who actually cares about me, i get to see who wishes me the best, and most importantly who is continuing to be my friend until i get on that train. i've already started to phase the illwishers and selfish fucks out of my life.
so, i guess if you hear from me in the next 11 months or so, know that you mean something to me.
and to set the record straight, i'm leaving for 2 reasons
1. to get get a fresh start because if i dont do this now i never will...and i'll never be able to grow and become the person i want to be
2. because i didnt have the balls to do this 2 years ago.
the people i love mean more to me than anything.
and i hope that now i have all my thoughts on the matter sorted out...because i can say i've really been a not so pleasent person to talk to and be around lately becuase of all of this on my chest.
-d
i dont plan on going forever, but i dont know what will happen
i've spent the last little while thinking alot aobut the relationships i have with all of the people i know here...and have come to the conclusion that there are really only a small handful of those friendships which will stay with me. the few people i will miss i think i will miss them dearly. but in the last little while after telling alot of the people who are close to me about my plans i've been written off
i've been told im leaving for all the wrong reasons
so, despite the fact that none of these people read this i am not leaving because
1. i hate it here
2. i hate what i've become...although that took a little bit of tim to figure out
3. i hate the people here
4. there is nothing here for me anymore'
and most importantly,
5. i'm running from a certain person.
that last one needs some clairity. sometimes multiple things happen at the same time in someone's (my) life. but they have absolutely nothing to do with one another. i am not leaving because of what happened...if i was i would have left right away and not sorted out a relationship with one of the most important people i ever have and ever will know and care about.
but now that i am leaving and it is set in stone im fucking glad. i get to see who actually cares about me, i get to see who wishes me the best, and most importantly who is continuing to be my friend until i get on that train. i've already started to phase the illwishers and selfish fucks out of my life.
so, i guess if you hear from me in the next 11 months or so, know that you mean something to me.
and to set the record straight, i'm leaving for 2 reasons
1. to get get a fresh start because if i dont do this now i never will...and i'll never be able to grow and become the person i want to be
2. because i didnt have the balls to do this 2 years ago.
the people i love mean more to me than anything.
and i hope that now i have all my thoughts on the matter sorted out...because i can say i've really been a not so pleasent person to talk to and be around lately becuase of all of this on my chest.
-d