you'd like to think
He claims that he loves me. But how sure can I be?
He's dangerous in the sense that he could emotionally rape me of everything that I've managed to built up.
One day he could be there, promising this, promising that and I trust him of course.
But then the next, he could want nothing to do with me.
He could want to oust me out of his life.
Which wouldn't surprise me.
Living in a hell, a Dantean wreck.
It's a bloody mess.
And I want to be a part of it.
Is this me talking?
Or is this just the reminder of the painful past that my mother so wearily soaks herself in?
This isn't my life.
Not at all.
My life is in a distant place, 4.5 hours away.
My life is potentionally with a man who I barely know.
It was the beginning of winter when I got to know him.
Maybe fall.
I'm not really sure at this point.
Seducing me with his words.
His honesty, his brevity.
He invited me into his life.
Allowing me to see a side of him never glimpsed by many women.
Or so I thought.
He's like my father in the appropriate ways that he tries to say that what he's doing is for the best of "us."
What us?
There's me.
Back home.
I'm not waiting for you.
Time isn't on your side.
Time isn't on anyone's side.
It doesn't care about your life.
Enough is enough.
I'm getting to know myself.
With or without a man.
He's dangerous in the sense that he could emotionally rape me of everything that I've managed to built up.
One day he could be there, promising this, promising that and I trust him of course.
But then the next, he could want nothing to do with me.
He could want to oust me out of his life.
Which wouldn't surprise me.
Living in a hell, a Dantean wreck.
It's a bloody mess.
And I want to be a part of it.
Is this me talking?
Or is this just the reminder of the painful past that my mother so wearily soaks herself in?
This isn't my life.
Not at all.
My life is in a distant place, 4.5 hours away.
My life is potentionally with a man who I barely know.
It was the beginning of winter when I got to know him.
Maybe fall.
I'm not really sure at this point.
Seducing me with his words.
His honesty, his brevity.
He invited me into his life.
Allowing me to see a side of him never glimpsed by many women.
Or so I thought.
He's like my father in the appropriate ways that he tries to say that what he's doing is for the best of "us."
What us?
There's me.
Back home.
I'm not waiting for you.
Time isn't on your side.
Time isn't on anyone's side.
It doesn't care about your life.
Enough is enough.
I'm getting to know myself.
With or without a man.