(no subject)
oh my gosh, i got so wasted last night! i drunk dialed everyone in my addressbook, because the pistons won rofl! we were losing at one point, but everything is okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end! by the way, i've like totally changed since i've last written. i'm so glad that i have broadened my horizons and explored what the world really has to offer me. whoever is reading this in their comfy chair at home or in their apartment, i want you to know you are nothing to me. got that? nothing! the tom yax of old is dead. make way for the new, improved tom yax. not that there was much room for improvement lmao! instead of valuing self-reflection, people, and relationships now i just love hollywood fashion and sex and the city repeats and doing body shots off of hot guys at wild parties!
i have also decided that my former practices of cherishing peace and love are outdated. war works. when thinking about my new life of glamor and glitz of supporting wars in iraq and their progeny, i have come to conclusion that how God made me is not good enough. i deserve better! it's my right, i'm an american, and i have the money. so i am going to get a face-lift, liposuction, and triple D breast augmentation. i'll look so hot, and all of my problems will be solved. and as for osama bin laden, the mass of silicon in my hogs would be sufficient to construct a plastic explosive that could end the war on terror once and for all. when i get exaggerated lordosis and other spinal problems, at least it will at least be for a good cause.
so, there's no use trying to argue with me and change my mind. i'm doing what's right, and if you don't follow my lead, you're such an idiot. not that i really care what you do anyways. the old tom yax might have cared. not me.
Definitively Yours,
The New Tom Yax
i have also decided that my former practices of cherishing peace and love are outdated. war works. when thinking about my new life of glamor and glitz of supporting wars in iraq and their progeny, i have come to conclusion that how God made me is not good enough. i deserve better! it's my right, i'm an american, and i have the money. so i am going to get a face-lift, liposuction, and triple D breast augmentation. i'll look so hot, and all of my problems will be solved. and as for osama bin laden, the mass of silicon in my hogs would be sufficient to construct a plastic explosive that could end the war on terror once and for all. when i get exaggerated lordosis and other spinal problems, at least it will at least be for a good cause.
so, there's no use trying to argue with me and change my mind. i'm doing what's right, and if you don't follow my lead, you're such an idiot. not that i really care what you do anyways. the old tom yax might have cared. not me.
Definitively Yours,
The New Tom Yax