I am an Idiot!
so I though I was going to have a fucking kid....
and planned parenthood did no help since they said the test came out negative but they were not sure if it was 100% accurate. but then I got home and realized....that I am a fucking idiot and if i prego it would have had a + sign.... not just a line and the regular line above that.
but thats what I get get for being too broke to get my birth control ($70) and for thinking in my head it would be okay to fool around like 3times without any protection.
soo I freaked out for no reason at all for about 6 hours. feeling like a horrible person for what my mind was set on doing. I guess its true, you never know how your react until it happens to you. I pondered a few times If I was ready to actually be a parent.
I told my mom the story and she said she would have supported me either way. then I told Sam in the car thinking she would be disgusted with what I would have done if I was pregnant but she took it the way I hoped for. understanding of my situation.
Its not like I hate kids or anything i love babies and my Friends children. Its just I do not want to be a mother. Like maybe when I'm 30 I will adopt some little peanut but now my mind wants nothing to do with taking care or birthing a baby. I'm not ready mentally or financially, Brian was right there with me. He feels we are not ready at the moment. needless to say I bought my BC for this month I just have to wait until my vag starts bleeding and that sucker is going right in!! haha.
eh. that was enough excitement for the week. I went Driving with Sam and her little one today. grabbed some food at the 99 and looked for jobs. Visited Bethany and plan on going over there Saturday night for a relaxing night drinking and hanging out with the girls.
I might see Aimee on Friday night. I don't know about going to clubs.. thats not really my scene but we will see what happens.
I started reading another book last night 'The lovely bones' so far its fucking REALLY good. I couldn't put it down but I had to get some rest.
oh and so Bmac is gonna marry that --------no comment------ chick he cheated on me with hahaha Sheena. good for him...really if he loves this chick and wont cheat on her. I don't know what the rush is...marriage seems these days to be like a joke for some people.
and planned parenthood did no help since they said the test came out negative but they were not sure if it was 100% accurate. but then I got home and realized....that I am a fucking idiot and if i prego it would have had a + sign.... not just a line and the regular line above that.
but thats what I get get for being too broke to get my birth control ($70) and for thinking in my head it would be okay to fool around like 3times without any protection.
soo I freaked out for no reason at all for about 6 hours. feeling like a horrible person for what my mind was set on doing. I guess its true, you never know how your react until it happens to you. I pondered a few times If I was ready to actually be a parent.
I told my mom the story and she said she would have supported me either way. then I told Sam in the car thinking she would be disgusted with what I would have done if I was pregnant but she took it the way I hoped for. understanding of my situation.
Its not like I hate kids or anything i love babies and my Friends children. Its just I do not want to be a mother. Like maybe when I'm 30 I will adopt some little peanut but now my mind wants nothing to do with taking care or birthing a baby. I'm not ready mentally or financially, Brian was right there with me. He feels we are not ready at the moment. needless to say I bought my BC for this month I just have to wait until my vag starts bleeding and that sucker is going right in!! haha.
eh. that was enough excitement for the week. I went Driving with Sam and her little one today. grabbed some food at the 99 and looked for jobs. Visited Bethany and plan on going over there Saturday night for a relaxing night drinking and hanging out with the girls.
I might see Aimee on Friday night. I don't know about going to clubs.. thats not really my scene but we will see what happens.
I started reading another book last night 'The lovely bones' so far its fucking REALLY good. I couldn't put it down but I had to get some rest.
oh and so Bmac is gonna marry that --------no comment------ chick he cheated on me with hahaha Sheena. good for him...really if he loves this chick and wont cheat on her. I don't know what the rush is...marriage seems these days to be like a joke for some people.