(no subject)
just one more round and then i promise i will be off this topic for a long while. when is it finally going to be my turn? what do i have to do in order for someone to be interested? apparently just being myself isn't good enough. and really, as independent as i am, i am tired of being alone. just tired of it. i've never dated much, i won't pretend that i have. a lot of that is my fault, i'm a little picky, a little self-important. but why am i always subject to the stunted "almosts"? i feel as though i have more of them than most people. and it is frustrating. again, probably a large portion of this is my own doing, but doing what? i couldn't say. i used to be afraid, i used to mess things up subconsciously on purpose. this is not the case anymore. i figured myself out. i've sorted my problems and issues. so now i don't know. i can't sort other people for themselves. and now i'm going to be careful again. probably more careful than before. because i'm sick of this. these are my questions, to you: why would you treat me as a friend and then do this? why would you talk about me to your friends? why would they tell me they were excited about this? and why would you pull a one eighty? why did you have to turn out to be like the rest of them? at least it didn't get far enough in that i'm actually injured. more like i'm just warned. and reminded. and sad. _spent_