I'm coming back to the heart of worship
Hey everyone!
Wow, I've realized lately, while reading The Purpose Driven Life, that I'm really slacking spiritually. This summer has definitely been crazy! Work seems so much more tiring than last year. The kids jumping on my back all the time is really taking it's toll on me. I've been pretty sore and not sleeping too well because of it. Anyway, by 4:30 when the last kids are going home, the last thing I want to do is come home and do anything. I just want to relax. However, I haven't been prioritizing my time right. Instead of relaxing and getting refreshed by God's Word and prayer, I've been watching a lot of TV and laying around. Before I go over to Mark's house, I make sure that I do my daily devotional from TPDL but that's it. I feel so dry. I look forward to weekends when I get to sleep in. That's the problem. Sleep has become a priority where it shouldn't; on Sundays. I've been a bunny hopper when it comes to church. I just feel so dry attending the church I do. I don't feel anything when I go there. I don't FEEL God's presence when I am worshipping Him. That's where TPDL comes into play. It's taught me that worship isn't an event, it's an attitude. AMEN! Well put! Wow.... I've learned to worship God so many more ways than just singing lyrics to a song that I've memorized the last 6 years. I don't want it to be a routine anymore, but rather something that I WANT to do and something I'm EXCITED to do. So I'm really praying hard that God will change my heart. I've isolated myself and when you stop partaking in fellowship, other things in your life start to slide as well. I don't want that to happen, and I'm glad that I'm noticing it now instead of having it come to me later!
Things with Mark are going pretty well. I've learned a lot through our relationship. I was pretty selfish at the beginning of it..... well kind of. I was a bit disappointed when things weren't going the way I'd imagined. I know it's important for the guy to be the spiritual leader in the relationship. I strongly believe it's his job. And when Mark's struggling to do that, I was a bit let down. But after talking to a friend about it, I realized that this is my time to be a leader. Mark has so much potential to be the most awesome leader. However, he's struggling a LOT right now with his past, and trying to stop it from re-occuring. This is when I can be a leader to him and keep him accountable, when other people won't. It's kind of neat, being there for someone else. It's hard though, because Mark's really... really struggling with staying away from those things. I've become a huge part of his life and I'm just scared about leaving him in August when I go to school. However, I trust the Lord with all of my heart, mind, strength and soul. I know that He's holding tight to Mark's hand, I just want Mark to know and remember that he's not alone. I've spent a lot of time with Mark, which a lot has been wasted by stupid things like watching TV, movies or whatever. But I want to spend more time with him reading God's Word, or going back through The Purpose Driven Life and praying. I think it'd be good to practice those things and to share that opportunity more, as a couple.
What else has been going on? We took the kids to this Battle Creek Yankees baseball game Wednesday. After the first 10 minutes, I wanted to leave because I was so bored. The kids were kind of bored too. So I got the idea to make it interesting. Since the Yankees were blowing like no other, there was no way I was going to cheer for them. Here they are, supposed to be talented to be playing in this league, and they were making the most insane errors. So I started cheering for Peoria Chiefs, from IL. To keep myself occupied, I just started cheering iratically for them; at bat and while fielding. The three of us counselors from Waterworks each picked a player to cheer for. I picked #13, Omar. Man was I crazy. Every play I'd be like "HIT IT TO OMAR!" or if the other 3rd baseman messed up, I'd be like "OMAR COULD HAVE STOPPED THAT!" The kids loved it. Brit cheered for the catcher, Brandon. We had so much fun. :-D However, I lost my voice by the end of the day. Haha. It was rad.
I'm missing my brother and Heidi hardcore right now. I'm so excited that I get to spend this upcoming year at ONU with him. I know he'll introduce me to all of his friends and he thinks I'm going to be a pretty cool kid there. :-) I'm just excited to develop everlasting friendships. I'm really stoked. I have been emailing this kid, Jordan, that I got in my "Buddy Pod" (an email list of a few freshman that I can get to know before I get to ONU). He's a pretty rad dude. We're going to have a lot of fun together. Plus I have my Scott, Mike and Evan from Coldwater going with me. God has huge plans for this year. I know it and I feel it!
Anyway, that's about all in my life right now. I'm ready to order my Dell! I got my paycheck today and I think I have it covered now. Now the rest goes towards books for the fall. Yay for that.
So I'm headed off. It was nice catching up with you :-P I hope you guys are all doing super well! I miss you all. I'm glad I got to talk to Kevinito today :-D He always encourages me. I love you kid. Take care and God bless, everyone!!!
Autumn
Wow, I've realized lately, while reading The Purpose Driven Life, that I'm really slacking spiritually. This summer has definitely been crazy! Work seems so much more tiring than last year. The kids jumping on my back all the time is really taking it's toll on me. I've been pretty sore and not sleeping too well because of it. Anyway, by 4:30 when the last kids are going home, the last thing I want to do is come home and do anything. I just want to relax. However, I haven't been prioritizing my time right. Instead of relaxing and getting refreshed by God's Word and prayer, I've been watching a lot of TV and laying around. Before I go over to Mark's house, I make sure that I do my daily devotional from TPDL but that's it. I feel so dry. I look forward to weekends when I get to sleep in. That's the problem. Sleep has become a priority where it shouldn't; on Sundays. I've been a bunny hopper when it comes to church. I just feel so dry attending the church I do. I don't feel anything when I go there. I don't FEEL God's presence when I am worshipping Him. That's where TPDL comes into play. It's taught me that worship isn't an event, it's an attitude. AMEN! Well put! Wow.... I've learned to worship God so many more ways than just singing lyrics to a song that I've memorized the last 6 years. I don't want it to be a routine anymore, but rather something that I WANT to do and something I'm EXCITED to do. So I'm really praying hard that God will change my heart. I've isolated myself and when you stop partaking in fellowship, other things in your life start to slide as well. I don't want that to happen, and I'm glad that I'm noticing it now instead of having it come to me later!
Things with Mark are going pretty well. I've learned a lot through our relationship. I was pretty selfish at the beginning of it..... well kind of. I was a bit disappointed when things weren't going the way I'd imagined. I know it's important for the guy to be the spiritual leader in the relationship. I strongly believe it's his job. And when Mark's struggling to do that, I was a bit let down. But after talking to a friend about it, I realized that this is my time to be a leader. Mark has so much potential to be the most awesome leader. However, he's struggling a LOT right now with his past, and trying to stop it from re-occuring. This is when I can be a leader to him and keep him accountable, when other people won't. It's kind of neat, being there for someone else. It's hard though, because Mark's really... really struggling with staying away from those things. I've become a huge part of his life and I'm just scared about leaving him in August when I go to school. However, I trust the Lord with all of my heart, mind, strength and soul. I know that He's holding tight to Mark's hand, I just want Mark to know and remember that he's not alone. I've spent a lot of time with Mark, which a lot has been wasted by stupid things like watching TV, movies or whatever. But I want to spend more time with him reading God's Word, or going back through The Purpose Driven Life and praying. I think it'd be good to practice those things and to share that opportunity more, as a couple.
What else has been going on? We took the kids to this Battle Creek Yankees baseball game Wednesday. After the first 10 minutes, I wanted to leave because I was so bored. The kids were kind of bored too. So I got the idea to make it interesting. Since the Yankees were blowing like no other, there was no way I was going to cheer for them. Here they are, supposed to be talented to be playing in this league, and they were making the most insane errors. So I started cheering for Peoria Chiefs, from IL. To keep myself occupied, I just started cheering iratically for them; at bat and while fielding. The three of us counselors from Waterworks each picked a player to cheer for. I picked #13, Omar. Man was I crazy. Every play I'd be like "HIT IT TO OMAR!" or if the other 3rd baseman messed up, I'd be like "OMAR COULD HAVE STOPPED THAT!" The kids loved it. Brit cheered for the catcher, Brandon. We had so much fun. :-D However, I lost my voice by the end of the day. Haha. It was rad.
I'm missing my brother and Heidi hardcore right now. I'm so excited that I get to spend this upcoming year at ONU with him. I know he'll introduce me to all of his friends and he thinks I'm going to be a pretty cool kid there. :-) I'm just excited to develop everlasting friendships. I'm really stoked. I have been emailing this kid, Jordan, that I got in my "Buddy Pod" (an email list of a few freshman that I can get to know before I get to ONU). He's a pretty rad dude. We're going to have a lot of fun together. Plus I have my Scott, Mike and Evan from Coldwater going with me. God has huge plans for this year. I know it and I feel it!
Anyway, that's about all in my life right now. I'm ready to order my Dell! I got my paycheck today and I think I have it covered now. Now the rest goes towards books for the fall. Yay for that.
So I'm headed off. It was nice catching up with you :-P I hope you guys are all doing super well! I miss you all. I'm glad I got to talk to Kevinito today :-D He always encourages me. I love you kid. Take care and God bless, everyone!!!
Autumn