Forgiveness
I was just looking at my Primary (Sunday school) lesson for tomorrow. It's about forgiveness.
I realize that I'm not alone in this, but forgiveness is really hard for me. I tend to go from one extreme to the other. Either I completely forgive the person, or I absolutely can never forgive them. Although, that's not entirely true, because, even with people I "forgive" I might nurse a resentment for a good long while. With those grudges, I just need to give them up, but I keep holding onto them. Still, I understand what I need to do there, logically at least. What always confuses me is how to proceed with forgiveness in cases where the person has done something that has not only broken trust, but for which they may feel no remorse and are quite likely to repeat the same action again. When I can, I jettison these kind of people from my life, but I can't always. Once out of my life, a certain level of forgiveness is easy because it costs me nothing to forgive someone that I will never see again. However with those untrustworthy people who stay in my life, I struggle. I know that forgiveness isn't the same as trust, and yet, sometimes it is the same, so it is difficult for me to forgive when I KNOW that I can not and should not trust that person in the future.
Of course, maybe what I am doing here is trying to come up with excuses not to forgive...trying to define a line rather than working on the known. I tend to spend more effort on analyzing problems than on solving them. Maybe if I could do a better job forgiving those little things I resent for too long, it will become more clear to me how to proceed in those other instances where trust can not also be given.
Fortunately for me, my class tomorrow is with five-year-olds. The entire discussion should be a lot easier with them.
I realize that I'm not alone in this, but forgiveness is really hard for me. I tend to go from one extreme to the other. Either I completely forgive the person, or I absolutely can never forgive them. Although, that's not entirely true, because, even with people I "forgive" I might nurse a resentment for a good long while. With those grudges, I just need to give them up, but I keep holding onto them. Still, I understand what I need to do there, logically at least. What always confuses me is how to proceed with forgiveness in cases where the person has done something that has not only broken trust, but for which they may feel no remorse and are quite likely to repeat the same action again. When I can, I jettison these kind of people from my life, but I can't always. Once out of my life, a certain level of forgiveness is easy because it costs me nothing to forgive someone that I will never see again. However with those untrustworthy people who stay in my life, I struggle. I know that forgiveness isn't the same as trust, and yet, sometimes it is the same, so it is difficult for me to forgive when I KNOW that I can not and should not trust that person in the future.
Of course, maybe what I am doing here is trying to come up with excuses not to forgive...trying to define a line rather than working on the known. I tend to spend more effort on analyzing problems than on solving them. Maybe if I could do a better job forgiving those little things I resent for too long, it will become more clear to me how to proceed in those other instances where trust can not also be given.
Fortunately for me, my class tomorrow is with five-year-olds. The entire discussion should be a lot easier with them.