It's a Barnum and Bailey world

Mar 13, 2012 05:31

For the past eight weeks I’ve been telling myself that I’ll get so much done over spring break. I’ll apply to all of those jobs that couldn’t during the landslide of homework and grading assignments. I’ll take care of all these silly little wedding details that constantly reaffirm my belief that we should have gone to Vegas. I’ll begin to box up and get rid of things for this impending move to ???.

What I’ve discovered:

By the second official night of spring break there is nothing to distract me from wedding worries. No regrets on my mate and the decision to marry. It’s the fact that it’s the first party I’ve had since fifth grade. And that my mom sends me daily text messages: nobody is rsvp’ing! The horror!

(2000 junior high translation: LoZ3R!)

It’s the fact that I’m 26 and I can’t sleep because I’m having flashbacks of nobody showing up for my fifth grade birthday party. And flashforwards of nobody showing up for my wedding.

So I get out of bed at 2am and pace around the house and tug at my hair. I like to believe that I’ve grown up and into my own skin, but here I am, twitching over the social scars of adolescent. So I vent on the appropriate medium: live journal! Lol!

In conclusion:

This is what having a wedding in your hometown will do to a person’s soul. But, unlike fifth grade, at least one of these parties will have an open bar. So I’ll toast to that and go back to sleep. I may not be 12 or even 16 but I’m still constantly reassuring my internal monologue. C'est la vie.

Nighty night.

P.S. I saw an amazing ballet adaptation of A Streetcar Named Desire the other night. Needless to say, this song has been stuck in my head since. Here’s a great version with Fiona Apple and her sister, Maude Maggart:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvO31CyFlTI
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