(no subject)
i hate my life, i am a loser, i have no friends, etc.
ok, now that i got that out.
im really only kidding. i have a quite great life and the bestest of friends. i just hate the fact that they all live so damn far away and i can never see them nearly as often as i wish. i think my biggest problem is that i am unsettled. but i dont want to settle where i am. i need to find something new, but i dont know how to go about doing that. everyday i marvel at the awesome number of kids that go to my school who i dont know. i go to the same building as 2,000+ kids almost everyday of my life and yet have found connections with only a select few. how is that possible? i look at people i dont know and wonder whether that kid could have been one of my best friends. someone i get along with so well. if only i knew. but how can i find out? i cant just walk up to a random kid and say, hey wanna be friends? i dont know anything about you, but i want to find out some stuff. its weird.
And if i cant do it at north, i want to do it somewhere where i can start fresh. given the chance i would not completely change my personality, i would be more of myself. one of my biggest hates is the feeling of restriction. and that is exactly how i feel. at north i feel restricted to one group of friends, and at this moment i feel like i am in the wrong one. so i feel alone. and sometimes i am alone but thats not the point. the point is that i have no escape. i cant always see my camp friends. and i have to go to school everyday. i dont have options. i sit in the same place for lunch everyday. i want to try somewhere new but its weird.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spring will be good. outside will be good. we all need a little fresh air.
aaaannnnndddd im taking the SATs on saturday. sitting, filling in bubbles for 3 hours and 45 minutes. thats restriction.
maybe ill go really really far away for college. maybe ill go to the mid west. i just need to get away from here.
outdoor track will be good, as will camp. actually camp will be AMAZING. i already know. bridgton maine here i come!
so yeah... thats how i feel. but you would never know because you would never ask. honesty is a good thing. knowing is a good thing. we should all know more stuff.
ok, now that i got that out.
im really only kidding. i have a quite great life and the bestest of friends. i just hate the fact that they all live so damn far away and i can never see them nearly as often as i wish. i think my biggest problem is that i am unsettled. but i dont want to settle where i am. i need to find something new, but i dont know how to go about doing that. everyday i marvel at the awesome number of kids that go to my school who i dont know. i go to the same building as 2,000+ kids almost everyday of my life and yet have found connections with only a select few. how is that possible? i look at people i dont know and wonder whether that kid could have been one of my best friends. someone i get along with so well. if only i knew. but how can i find out? i cant just walk up to a random kid and say, hey wanna be friends? i dont know anything about you, but i want to find out some stuff. its weird.
And if i cant do it at north, i want to do it somewhere where i can start fresh. given the chance i would not completely change my personality, i would be more of myself. one of my biggest hates is the feeling of restriction. and that is exactly how i feel. at north i feel restricted to one group of friends, and at this moment i feel like i am in the wrong one. so i feel alone. and sometimes i am alone but thats not the point. the point is that i have no escape. i cant always see my camp friends. and i have to go to school everyday. i dont have options. i sit in the same place for lunch everyday. i want to try somewhere new but its weird.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spring will be good. outside will be good. we all need a little fresh air.
aaaannnnndddd im taking the SATs on saturday. sitting, filling in bubbles for 3 hours and 45 minutes. thats restriction.
maybe ill go really really far away for college. maybe ill go to the mid west. i just need to get away from here.
outdoor track will be good, as will camp. actually camp will be AMAZING. i already know. bridgton maine here i come!
so yeah... thats how i feel. but you would never know because you would never ask. honesty is a good thing. knowing is a good thing. we should all know more stuff.