(no subject)
im babysitting, yay.. ish. i havent had the energy or motivation to do any work over the past couple nights. i obviously have so much, but blah. thats how i feel, blah. i need to relax, but i cant fit it into my schedule. when i dont have something to do, like a track meet, i feel like my weekend isnt right. i dunno why, but this upcoming weekend doesnt feel right. i feel like im missing something. i hate that feeling, incompleteness. i dont know how to fill the void. i dont think that writing a really good english paper or thesis rough draft will make me feel more accomplished... its deeper than that. i missing something, something about myself, i dont know what it is. i didnt start this entry planning to look deep into my soul or whatever, but i guess i needed to actually sort out these feelings. thanks lj for being so handy.
i had two meetings about college today, one in the career center and a junior seminar. they both seemed so useless. dr mgowen doesnt know anything about me, how can he tell me what colleges are good to look at? a lot of people at newton north with my grades are into liberal arts colleges in the northeast. after those factors, its completely arbitrary. i dont know what i want to do with my life, i dont know what i want to major in in college. i dont even know what im writing my englsih paper on thats due monday! i hate thinking about myself. that sounds weird. but i think thats why i will have such a hard time at interviews. i hate talking about myself. maybe its a fear of sounding cocky or arrogant, or stupid, i dont know. i just cant do it. i need a little fairy to come along and say, this is what you like to do, and what interests you, and what careers you should look into.
can someone tell me about myself?
ive had this conversation with rob cohen at camp. we talked about getting to know youself. and who i (or anyone, but pronouns are tricky in this) could trust to tell me about myself. i need some sort of analysis. how am i doing as a friend? as a peer? as a person in general? what are my interests? what am i good at/bad at? i need someone that wouldnt say things just to make me happy, because they like me/hate me. i need brutal honesty. please.
thats all i got....
i had two meetings about college today, one in the career center and a junior seminar. they both seemed so useless. dr mgowen doesnt know anything about me, how can he tell me what colleges are good to look at? a lot of people at newton north with my grades are into liberal arts colleges in the northeast. after those factors, its completely arbitrary. i dont know what i want to do with my life, i dont know what i want to major in in college. i dont even know what im writing my englsih paper on thats due monday! i hate thinking about myself. that sounds weird. but i think thats why i will have such a hard time at interviews. i hate talking about myself. maybe its a fear of sounding cocky or arrogant, or stupid, i dont know. i just cant do it. i need a little fairy to come along and say, this is what you like to do, and what interests you, and what careers you should look into.
can someone tell me about myself?
ive had this conversation with rob cohen at camp. we talked about getting to know youself. and who i (or anyone, but pronouns are tricky in this) could trust to tell me about myself. i need some sort of analysis. how am i doing as a friend? as a peer? as a person in general? what are my interests? what am i good at/bad at? i need someone that wouldnt say things just to make me happy, because they like me/hate me. i need brutal honesty. please.
thats all i got....