My voice is the only sound, so listen up, i'll spell it out - i need your help, i need it now.
So i accidentally left my ipod at the gym last night. I was rushing to get to the bathroom for an emergency girl thing and left it ontop of the coat cubby and forgot about it until like 10pm. i called and left a message and they never called back. so i went down there this morning and they said nobody turned it in. so i searched the locker room and it's totally gone. i go to a very expensive all womens gym. the people that go there are my moms age. so that really sucks. i went out and bought a nano bc i really cannot live w/o my ipod. i dont like the nano cause it is so tiny! i'm treating it like an unwanted child.
needless to say, my first day of no work wasnt exactly delightful. I also paid a bunch of bills so i have no money. thank god for credit cards, huh??
I also bought panic at the disco, the new hawthorne heights cd and harry potter the goblet of fire. i watched hp today...i really love those movies. there are 3 books i want to get, what would jackie do, and i cant remember the other two, one is something like...*some word*, love and pray and the other has something to do with cake...the author is cupcake brown, i remember that.
i love my body right now. love it. i want to take pictures of it and post it all over the place. I work my ass off at the gym and i love when i have days like today when i feel great about my body.
Plans for tomorrow? go for a walk, take some pictures, go to the gym, make my hair look awesome curly, friendlys with my bitches and my shows.
i am so sick of having dreams about the ex. last night in my dream we were walking around my neighborhood and it was so hot. we went back to my house and his family was there...so i guess it was his house...he made me pancakes and i watched, for some reason it was so interesting to me. as if no one had ever made me pancakes before. i payed such close attention to every detail of every move he made...probably because i regret not paying close enough attention to the last good time we had together...then we went to "my room" and he took a nap while i looked for my rainbows. i didnt find them. i ended up wearing some navy flip flops. I dont know what that means but I'd rather not have happy dreams like that when i wake up next to no one. I told him that i want him to be happy. that was only half true. i wanted him to be happy with me.
thats what i dont ever seem to be able to understand. i cant make someone love me back. i can make them happy for a while but they wont love me back.
I know i'm making a bigger deal out of this than it is...but i have a crush. well, i've had a crush. this kid i was friends with in highschool, i'd always had a thing for him. he went to college with one of my friends and when i went to visit her, we totally made out and slept in the same bed (a very big deal for me). in highschool, we liked eachother but i had a boyfriend, then when i was single, he had a girlfriend. again, another example of how my timing is always off. we talked very infrequently over the last 3 years but we've started talking pretty regularly now. i do like him, i know he hasnt changed very much and he is a great guy...i would love to date him. oh well, i should probably mention that he is living in NC. i might go visit but it wont be for a while, i mean, i'm so broke. am i being silly? is this totally irrational? he's like me. he's funny, he's smart, he's a hardworker, he's handsome and he's very witty. he grew up similar to how i did...i have learned this is a very big thing. i'm making too much out of this i think.
a girl can dream, right?
needless to say, my first day of no work wasnt exactly delightful. I also paid a bunch of bills so i have no money. thank god for credit cards, huh??
I also bought panic at the disco, the new hawthorne heights cd and harry potter the goblet of fire. i watched hp today...i really love those movies. there are 3 books i want to get, what would jackie do, and i cant remember the other two, one is something like...*some word*, love and pray and the other has something to do with cake...the author is cupcake brown, i remember that.
i love my body right now. love it. i want to take pictures of it and post it all over the place. I work my ass off at the gym and i love when i have days like today when i feel great about my body.
Plans for tomorrow? go for a walk, take some pictures, go to the gym, make my hair look awesome curly, friendlys with my bitches and my shows.
i am so sick of having dreams about the ex. last night in my dream we were walking around my neighborhood and it was so hot. we went back to my house and his family was there...so i guess it was his house...he made me pancakes and i watched, for some reason it was so interesting to me. as if no one had ever made me pancakes before. i payed such close attention to every detail of every move he made...probably because i regret not paying close enough attention to the last good time we had together...then we went to "my room" and he took a nap while i looked for my rainbows. i didnt find them. i ended up wearing some navy flip flops. I dont know what that means but I'd rather not have happy dreams like that when i wake up next to no one. I told him that i want him to be happy. that was only half true. i wanted him to be happy with me.
thats what i dont ever seem to be able to understand. i cant make someone love me back. i can make them happy for a while but they wont love me back.
I know i'm making a bigger deal out of this than it is...but i have a crush. well, i've had a crush. this kid i was friends with in highschool, i'd always had a thing for him. he went to college with one of my friends and when i went to visit her, we totally made out and slept in the same bed (a very big deal for me). in highschool, we liked eachother but i had a boyfriend, then when i was single, he had a girlfriend. again, another example of how my timing is always off. we talked very infrequently over the last 3 years but we've started talking pretty regularly now. i do like him, i know he hasnt changed very much and he is a great guy...i would love to date him. oh well, i should probably mention that he is living in NC. i might go visit but it wont be for a while, i mean, i'm so broke. am i being silly? is this totally irrational? he's like me. he's funny, he's smart, he's a hardworker, he's handsome and he's very witty. he grew up similar to how i did...i have learned this is a very big thing. i'm making too much out of this i think.
a girl can dream, right?