Arashi fic- Enterlude
Title: Enterlude
Rating: R.
Word Count: 1839
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakuraiba
Summary: When exorcists meet something more than they can handle. Crack AU.
Disclaimer: Don't own, also, this is pure fiction.
Notes: Very belated birthday fic for
i_am_zan . Dear zan, I wanted to write Ohmiya for you, but it ran away a bit and ended up with sakuraiba too...sorry. Also, I'm sorry this came so late, I was really busy with school, and only just got around to finishing it. It's just a short piece, but hope you enjoy it anyway ^_^ The prompt for fic came from theyfightcrime. Prompt was:
He's an ungodly day-dreaming shaman with a secret. She's a warm-hearted punk queen of the dead who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!
I didn't follow it exactly though, made my own modifications (and sadly there is no crime-fighting here).
They told him to investigate the rumours of hauntings at the old mansion, so Ohno geared up and set off for the house, accompanied by his trusty assistant Aiba whose enthusiasm and ability to sense spirits just about made up for his tendency to jump at anything scary. He’d hope it would be a quick job; find out if there was a spirit, persuade it to leave if there was, and maybe there’ll even be time to go fishing later. It was the peak season, after all.
And so they found themselves staring up at a grand, old, decidedly scary-looking mansion.
Aiba clutched at Ohno’s arm as they made their walk down the winding path leading to the door, warily glancing at the surrounding greenery, and twitching violently at nothing. Ohno tried to ignore the numbing sensation in his arm. Something else felt wrong. He frowned.
“Do you feel anything?”
Aiba jumped. When he was back on earth, he considered. “Actually, no. There’s an air of something strange here, for sure, but it doesn’t feel like your typical spirits.”
Ohno walked up to the grand oak doors, puzzled, and knocked repeatedly. Nothing happened for several minutes, then the doors flew open inwardly. Aiba shrieked.
A boy, dressed in T-shirt and jeans, appeared, scowling at them.
“What do you want?”
Aiba stepped forward. "Hi, are your parents at home? Has there been any strange or scary things going on here?"
The boy muttered under his breath, "The only thing scary around here is Sho trying to cook, and the only strange thing is MatsuJun's perm."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing. My parents are dead, and for your information, I'm not that much younger than you."
"I'm so sorry! You poor thing! What's your name? Can we speak to the master of the house then?"
The boy sighed. "You aren't listening at all are you? I AM the master, owner of the house, whatever. And I'm Nino. Don't stare at me that way. I am the Queen of the Dead, whatmore a mere house? I own the underworld."
Aiba blurted out, “But you’re a guy! Wait, are you?”
Nino sighed and rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault the one before me was female, and the title stuck and I’m stuck with it now. So what do you want? I’m busy. ”
Aiba replied, “Actually, we’re here to exorcise spirits, if any. But I can’t really sense any right now.”
“Of course not, I’ve been doing my job you know. They’re where they should be. Or most of them anyway. We don’t need any exorcists. Does that mean you’ll leave now?” huffed Nino.
There was a growling sound.
Ohno looked sheepish. “Sorry, I’m hungry.” Aiba chimed in, “I’m hungry too! Do you have food? We promise not to exorcise any non-spirit things.”
Nino rolled his eyes and turned to Ohno. “You need a ‘I’m with Stupid’ shirt, seriously.” He snapped his fingers, and yelled, “Sho!”
Footsteps, then a figure dressed in a French maid costume strode towards them, with a long suffering look.
“Yes, Master Ninomiya?”
Nino pointed at Ohno and Aiba. “We have unwanted guests, they demand food.”
Sho sighed. “Why are you telling me that? You’re the one cooking dinner tonight. Oh, before I forget, your fish is going to burn.”
Nino cursed, glared at Sho, "And you couldn't have told me earlier?" and ran off.
Aiba stared at Sho, and blurted out, “But you’re a guy! Wait, are you?”
Sho looked indignant. “Of course I am! And who are you?”
Ohno spoke for the first time, “Ah, we're exorcists. Sent here to investigate. But it seems it was only rumours though.”
Sho looked relieved. “Ah, that’s good. There's only us here, and we're all obviously humans. Except Nino. He was though. Now he's just evil. And you could argue Jun is a demoness...well. There’s no point in trying to exorcise Nino, I can tell you that. Come this way then.”
They followed Sho down two tastefully decorated hallways, eyes inexplicably drawn to his shapely legs, before Aiba piped up again, “Do you always dress like that? It looks good on you,” to Ohno’s look of disbelief.
Sho coughed and spluttered. “No! I just lost a bet to Nino, and that brat made me play his maid-servant for a day as punishment. Never try to bet with Nino, I’ll advise you.”
Aiba looked disappointed. “Oh. This is really Nino’s house?”
“His deceased aunt’s, actually; she left it to him. Right, here’s the dining area. Pick a seat, I’m going to check on Nino.”
They sat themselves at a long, elegant dining table, set in a extravagantly decorated room, huge and extensively lavished.
Aiba gaped at the surroundings, open-mouthed, and jumped suddenly when a voice demanded, “Who are you?”
When Sho had appeared, Aiba had thought he was the prettiest vision to appear in his life for a while, not to mention the outfit really helped.
This vision to appear before him now though, was of another matter, though no less striking. He caught glimpses of sparkling sequins and glittering things and three shades of purple, all in a dreamy shiny cloud that gave off the air of royalty; jeweled and commanding in presence. It was a sight to behold, when Aiba could pry his eyes open again.
A sharply sculptured face turned to them, and ordered, “What are you doing here?”
Ohno gawked. Aiba was speechless for once in his whole life (discounting the experiment when he'd tried to see how much peanut butter he could hold in his mouth without swallowing any).
“MatsuJun, you’re just in time for dinner!”
Sho reappeared in the dining room, balancing four bowls of soup dangerously, following by Nino, busily slurping from his own bowl. “Jun, please take a seat. Nino, stop slurping and set the cutlery for our guests. Ah…I don’t know your names, but where would you both like to sit?”
Jun scowled. “What guests? What are they doing here?”
Sho set down the bowls and managed not to spill any of them, looking pleased with himself. “They’re staying for dinner, courtesy of Nino.”
Highly suspicious, Jun sat down away from both of them. Nino cut in, “I want to sit next to this one,” and settled beside Ohno.
“Sho,” Nino added, “You can sit next to the stupid one.”
“Hey! I’m not! And I’m Aiba!” Aiba yelped.
Sho hushed the two of them before Nino could get a crack in, “Alright alright, I’m sitting here, quit fighting and eat your food.”
Jun sighed, “So what are you two doing here?”
“Failed attempt at exorcism, so Ohno and Aiba decided to stay for dinner.” Nino explained.
Ohno stared at Nino. “How did you know my name?”
Nino smirked. “I can read your mind.”
At Ohno’s stunned expression, Sho sighed. “Nino heard Aiba calling you; the sound here travels to the kitchen.”
Nino made a sound at Sho. "Spoilsport."
Sho glared in return. "Grow up, Nino, even if you can't grow old anymore."
Aiba chipped in, "Is there more soup? What's the main course? This is really good!"
Jun snapped impaitently, "Will you guys tone it down? I'm trying to eat and I'm getting a headache here."
Ohno looked worriedly at Jun. "Oh. Are you alright?"
Nino sniggered. "Just ignore him, he's always so fussy. Sho, I command you to serve the next course. You're the maid aren't you. Nice legs, by the way."
Aiba giggled. "Yes! They're nice, Sho! You should wear that more often."
Sho pouted at them, complaining about the general abuse of hired help. Aiba and Nino high-fived over Ohno's head, resulting in Aiba knocking over Ohno's glass of water and spilling water into Ohno's lap. Ohno jumped up and Nino followed suit, grabbing his napkin and swiping too enthusiastically at Ohno's lap, making Ohno jump again. Aiba jumped up and apologised profusely and despairingly to Ohno as Nino griped about his clumsiness, and then Sho jumped up as well and flailed rather uselessly for a bit, before having a bit more success in calming Aiba down.
Jun groaned and put his face in his hands.
*
Jun woke up the next morning as usual, washed up, and set about waking Nino and Sho up. He walked into Nino's room, preparing to push Nino off the bed, when he stopped.
Lying in bed, curled around each other, was Ohno and Nino, peacefully sound asleep. Jun made a strangled sound, which woke Nino up.
"Oh, is it morning already? Ah, morning, Jun. It's your turn to make breakfast isn't it," Nino yawned sleepily, looked down and saw Ohno still sound asleep in his lap. He smiled indulgently at Ohno, then realisation dawned and he looked up and smiled at Jun's scandalised look, a smile full of fangs.
Jun huffed at Nino, and stomped out of the room as dignified as he could. He wasn't going to lose to Nino, oh no.
He huffed all the way to Sho's room, intending to unleash just what he thought of Nino on Sho. He jerked the door open huffily.
"Sho," he started, "you wouldn't believe what Ohno and Nino are do-"
Once again, MatsuJun was stopped in his tracks, and vocal cords.
Aiba was in Sho's bed, and he seemed to have lost his shirt, though he had found Sho's cock in his mouth. Sho turned to Jun and looked in agony and ecstasy and shock and tugged lightly at Aiba's hair, spluttering, "Ah hell, Jun, Aiba, stop, stop, argh not there, no, more, more, oh don't stop, god..." Aiba waved happily to Jun with his free hand, never pausing for a moment and looking up at Sho with a glint in his eyes that was equal parts evil and joy.
Sho managed to get out, "We're coming soon,", which made Aiba giggle around his mouthful, which made Sho yelp before Jun slammed the door shut on them, screaming for bleach.
The eggs and toast were burnt that morning, but nobody said a word. Nino radiated evilness, one arm possessively around Ohno's shoulder. Ohno shovelled food in happily, looking dreamily content and not minding the fact Nino was practically in his lap, only pausing to return Nino's grin with a smile. Sho blushed brightly throughout breakfast, but that didn't stop him from allowing Aiba to feed him from his plate. Aiba positively glowed, couldn't keep still, couldn't keep quiet, couldn't keep from grinning, or from gazing at Sho with full adoring puppy eyes. Sho met his eye, sighed, coughed and took Aiba's hand under the table. Aiba glowed some more.
Jun wanted to forcibly remove his eyeballs, he also wanted a handful of aspirin to be washed down with a strong shot of vodka.
Nino grinned and turned to Jun. "I want to keep him."
Sho looked torn, embarrassed, glancing between Aiba and the rest of the table. Aiba made eyes at him and purred, "Shoooooooo-chan......" Sho sighed, giving up the fight completely, and let Aiba crawl into his lap.
Euthanasia, Jun thought, euthanasia.
Rating: R.
Word Count: 1839
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakuraiba
Summary: When exorcists meet something more than they can handle. Crack AU.
Disclaimer: Don't own, also, this is pure fiction.
Notes: Very belated birthday fic for
i_am_zan . Dear zan, I wanted to write Ohmiya for you, but it ran away a bit and ended up with sakuraiba too...sorry. Also, I'm sorry this came so late, I was really busy with school, and only just got around to finishing it. It's just a short piece, but hope you enjoy it anyway ^_^ The prompt for fic came from theyfightcrime. Prompt was:
He's an ungodly day-dreaming shaman with a secret. She's a warm-hearted punk queen of the dead who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!
I didn't follow it exactly though, made my own modifications (and sadly there is no crime-fighting here).
They told him to investigate the rumours of hauntings at the old mansion, so Ohno geared up and set off for the house, accompanied by his trusty assistant Aiba whose enthusiasm and ability to sense spirits just about made up for his tendency to jump at anything scary. He’d hope it would be a quick job; find out if there was a spirit, persuade it to leave if there was, and maybe there’ll even be time to go fishing later. It was the peak season, after all.
And so they found themselves staring up at a grand, old, decidedly scary-looking mansion.
Aiba clutched at Ohno’s arm as they made their walk down the winding path leading to the door, warily glancing at the surrounding greenery, and twitching violently at nothing. Ohno tried to ignore the numbing sensation in his arm. Something else felt wrong. He frowned.
“Do you feel anything?”
Aiba jumped. When he was back on earth, he considered. “Actually, no. There’s an air of something strange here, for sure, but it doesn’t feel like your typical spirits.”
Ohno walked up to the grand oak doors, puzzled, and knocked repeatedly. Nothing happened for several minutes, then the doors flew open inwardly. Aiba shrieked.
A boy, dressed in T-shirt and jeans, appeared, scowling at them.
“What do you want?”
Aiba stepped forward. "Hi, are your parents at home? Has there been any strange or scary things going on here?"
The boy muttered under his breath, "The only thing scary around here is Sho trying to cook, and the only strange thing is MatsuJun's perm."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing. My parents are dead, and for your information, I'm not that much younger than you."
"I'm so sorry! You poor thing! What's your name? Can we speak to the master of the house then?"
The boy sighed. "You aren't listening at all are you? I AM the master, owner of the house, whatever. And I'm Nino. Don't stare at me that way. I am the Queen of the Dead, whatmore a mere house? I own the underworld."
Aiba blurted out, “But you’re a guy! Wait, are you?”
Nino sighed and rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault the one before me was female, and the title stuck and I’m stuck with it now. So what do you want? I’m busy. ”
Aiba replied, “Actually, we’re here to exorcise spirits, if any. But I can’t really sense any right now.”
“Of course not, I’ve been doing my job you know. They’re where they should be. Or most of them anyway. We don’t need any exorcists. Does that mean you’ll leave now?” huffed Nino.
There was a growling sound.
Ohno looked sheepish. “Sorry, I’m hungry.” Aiba chimed in, “I’m hungry too! Do you have food? We promise not to exorcise any non-spirit things.”
Nino rolled his eyes and turned to Ohno. “You need a ‘I’m with Stupid’ shirt, seriously.” He snapped his fingers, and yelled, “Sho!”
Footsteps, then a figure dressed in a French maid costume strode towards them, with a long suffering look.
“Yes, Master Ninomiya?”
Nino pointed at Ohno and Aiba. “We have unwanted guests, they demand food.”
Sho sighed. “Why are you telling me that? You’re the one cooking dinner tonight. Oh, before I forget, your fish is going to burn.”
Nino cursed, glared at Sho, "And you couldn't have told me earlier?" and ran off.
Aiba stared at Sho, and blurted out, “But you’re a guy! Wait, are you?”
Sho looked indignant. “Of course I am! And who are you?”
Ohno spoke for the first time, “Ah, we're exorcists. Sent here to investigate. But it seems it was only rumours though.”
Sho looked relieved. “Ah, that’s good. There's only us here, and we're all obviously humans. Except Nino. He was though. Now he's just evil. And you could argue Jun is a demoness...well. There’s no point in trying to exorcise Nino, I can tell you that. Come this way then.”
They followed Sho down two tastefully decorated hallways, eyes inexplicably drawn to his shapely legs, before Aiba piped up again, “Do you always dress like that? It looks good on you,” to Ohno’s look of disbelief.
Sho coughed and spluttered. “No! I just lost a bet to Nino, and that brat made me play his maid-servant for a day as punishment. Never try to bet with Nino, I’ll advise you.”
Aiba looked disappointed. “Oh. This is really Nino’s house?”
“His deceased aunt’s, actually; she left it to him. Right, here’s the dining area. Pick a seat, I’m going to check on Nino.”
They sat themselves at a long, elegant dining table, set in a extravagantly decorated room, huge and extensively lavished.
Aiba gaped at the surroundings, open-mouthed, and jumped suddenly when a voice demanded, “Who are you?”
When Sho had appeared, Aiba had thought he was the prettiest vision to appear in his life for a while, not to mention the outfit really helped.
This vision to appear before him now though, was of another matter, though no less striking. He caught glimpses of sparkling sequins and glittering things and three shades of purple, all in a dreamy shiny cloud that gave off the air of royalty; jeweled and commanding in presence. It was a sight to behold, when Aiba could pry his eyes open again.
A sharply sculptured face turned to them, and ordered, “What are you doing here?”
Ohno gawked. Aiba was speechless for once in his whole life (discounting the experiment when he'd tried to see how much peanut butter he could hold in his mouth without swallowing any).
“MatsuJun, you’re just in time for dinner!”
Sho reappeared in the dining room, balancing four bowls of soup dangerously, following by Nino, busily slurping from his own bowl. “Jun, please take a seat. Nino, stop slurping and set the cutlery for our guests. Ah…I don’t know your names, but where would you both like to sit?”
Jun scowled. “What guests? What are they doing here?”
Sho set down the bowls and managed not to spill any of them, looking pleased with himself. “They’re staying for dinner, courtesy of Nino.”
Highly suspicious, Jun sat down away from both of them. Nino cut in, “I want to sit next to this one,” and settled beside Ohno.
“Sho,” Nino added, “You can sit next to the stupid one.”
“Hey! I’m not! And I’m Aiba!” Aiba yelped.
Sho hushed the two of them before Nino could get a crack in, “Alright alright, I’m sitting here, quit fighting and eat your food.”
Jun sighed, “So what are you two doing here?”
“Failed attempt at exorcism, so Ohno and Aiba decided to stay for dinner.” Nino explained.
Ohno stared at Nino. “How did you know my name?”
Nino smirked. “I can read your mind.”
At Ohno’s stunned expression, Sho sighed. “Nino heard Aiba calling you; the sound here travels to the kitchen.”
Nino made a sound at Sho. "Spoilsport."
Sho glared in return. "Grow up, Nino, even if you can't grow old anymore."
Aiba chipped in, "Is there more soup? What's the main course? This is really good!"
Jun snapped impaitently, "Will you guys tone it down? I'm trying to eat and I'm getting a headache here."
Ohno looked worriedly at Jun. "Oh. Are you alright?"
Nino sniggered. "Just ignore him, he's always so fussy. Sho, I command you to serve the next course. You're the maid aren't you. Nice legs, by the way."
Aiba giggled. "Yes! They're nice, Sho! You should wear that more often."
Sho pouted at them, complaining about the general abuse of hired help. Aiba and Nino high-fived over Ohno's head, resulting in Aiba knocking over Ohno's glass of water and spilling water into Ohno's lap. Ohno jumped up and Nino followed suit, grabbing his napkin and swiping too enthusiastically at Ohno's lap, making Ohno jump again. Aiba jumped up and apologised profusely and despairingly to Ohno as Nino griped about his clumsiness, and then Sho jumped up as well and flailed rather uselessly for a bit, before having a bit more success in calming Aiba down.
Jun groaned and put his face in his hands.
*
Jun woke up the next morning as usual, washed up, and set about waking Nino and Sho up. He walked into Nino's room, preparing to push Nino off the bed, when he stopped.
Lying in bed, curled around each other, was Ohno and Nino, peacefully sound asleep. Jun made a strangled sound, which woke Nino up.
"Oh, is it morning already? Ah, morning, Jun. It's your turn to make breakfast isn't it," Nino yawned sleepily, looked down and saw Ohno still sound asleep in his lap. He smiled indulgently at Ohno, then realisation dawned and he looked up and smiled at Jun's scandalised look, a smile full of fangs.
Jun huffed at Nino, and stomped out of the room as dignified as he could. He wasn't going to lose to Nino, oh no.
He huffed all the way to Sho's room, intending to unleash just what he thought of Nino on Sho. He jerked the door open huffily.
"Sho," he started, "you wouldn't believe what Ohno and Nino are do-"
Once again, MatsuJun was stopped in his tracks, and vocal cords.
Aiba was in Sho's bed, and he seemed to have lost his shirt, though he had found Sho's cock in his mouth. Sho turned to Jun and looked in agony and ecstasy and shock and tugged lightly at Aiba's hair, spluttering, "Ah hell, Jun, Aiba, stop, stop, argh not there, no, more, more, oh don't stop, god..." Aiba waved happily to Jun with his free hand, never pausing for a moment and looking up at Sho with a glint in his eyes that was equal parts evil and joy.
Sho managed to get out, "We're coming soon,", which made Aiba giggle around his mouthful, which made Sho yelp before Jun slammed the door shut on them, screaming for bleach.
The eggs and toast were burnt that morning, but nobody said a word. Nino radiated evilness, one arm possessively around Ohno's shoulder. Ohno shovelled food in happily, looking dreamily content and not minding the fact Nino was practically in his lap, only pausing to return Nino's grin with a smile. Sho blushed brightly throughout breakfast, but that didn't stop him from allowing Aiba to feed him from his plate. Aiba positively glowed, couldn't keep still, couldn't keep quiet, couldn't keep from grinning, or from gazing at Sho with full adoring puppy eyes. Sho met his eye, sighed, coughed and took Aiba's hand under the table. Aiba glowed some more.
Jun wanted to forcibly remove his eyeballs, he also wanted a handful of aspirin to be washed down with a strong shot of vodka.
Nino grinned and turned to Jun. "I want to keep him."
Sho looked torn, embarrassed, glancing between Aiba and the rest of the table. Aiba made eyes at him and purred, "Shoooooooo-chan......" Sho sighed, giving up the fight completely, and let Aiba crawl into his lap.
Euthanasia, Jun thought, euthanasia.