blah blah blah
Everybody needs to quit talking about the OC. Because I used some self control to not watch the entire season, until I get it on DVD. Then it will be increidibly great sex I can have for hours upon hours instead of great sex I only get once a week. Going to watch some of the first two seasons tonight, cause I miss it.
Today I cleaned m room. And it was depressing. I found expungment papers from 2004 and just now realized they expunged not MY social security number, but somebody elses. Now I wonder if its still on my record and thats why I have horrible insurance rates. It also brought me back to how fucked I thought my liufe was then. Not that I'm going to school or doin anything great now.
I also found old notes from The Breakup. I call it The Breakup because it was the single hardest fuck I've ever lied down for. That relationship and the end of it was the sinlge most infectious thing of my life so far. I was just a child when my parents divorced, the years it took me to get over it I dont remember. I am still waiting for this "adult" to make any attempt at all of forming into something...anything. God, my edges just blend into the fucking dirt. WANT something...LOVE someone, HURT someone for fucks sake. Breathing is far from an attempt at life.
I wish I were strong enough to forget everything here, and leave and become someone somewhere else. Sing the blues in the new New Orleans. Sing ANYthing in California. I wish I were strong enough to NOT forget about everything here, but take it with me somewhere else.
Something extreme, I'm still waiting for it to happen to me. Fucked.
tan, bubble bath, wine, OC and hummus. that will be tonight. and something else tomorrow. And when will I really live?
Today I cleaned m room. And it was depressing. I found expungment papers from 2004 and just now realized they expunged not MY social security number, but somebody elses. Now I wonder if its still on my record and thats why I have horrible insurance rates. It also brought me back to how fucked I thought my liufe was then. Not that I'm going to school or doin anything great now.
I also found old notes from The Breakup. I call it The Breakup because it was the single hardest fuck I've ever lied down for. That relationship and the end of it was the sinlge most infectious thing of my life so far. I was just a child when my parents divorced, the years it took me to get over it I dont remember. I am still waiting for this "adult" to make any attempt at all of forming into something...anything. God, my edges just blend into the fucking dirt. WANT something...LOVE someone, HURT someone for fucks sake. Breathing is far from an attempt at life.
I wish I were strong enough to forget everything here, and leave and become someone somewhere else. Sing the blues in the new New Orleans. Sing ANYthing in California. I wish I were strong enough to NOT forget about everything here, but take it with me somewhere else.
Something extreme, I'm still waiting for it to happen to me. Fucked.
tan, bubble bath, wine, OC and hummus. that will be tonight. and something else tomorrow. And when will I really live?