Frustrations!
Grrr.. I just have a few frustrations that I need to air because I can't seem to find anybody in a freaking household of 8 to talk to/ vent to. And the one person who I would love to talk to doesn't seem to have an internet existence. Do you know how weird that is?
I have this bad eye thing going on. Like I'm squinting SOOO much more. My internet text format is set on BIG, like freaking huge because I can't see the little stuff anymore without a headache or 2. And most frustrating is that I can't see facial features when I'm like walking around, like in stores or different places until I'm right up on them. I tend to stare at people until I can figure out if I know them or not, and by the time I figure it out, I have made a fool of myself and creeped them out. Soo.. yeah, I need to get my eyes checked, but from what I've been told by my mother (who is another of my thorns), insurance won't cover it and frankly no matter how I go about it, I just don't have the money for it right now. But I must do something before school starts back. It's affecting my music reading horribly, and poor eyesight is just not a good excuse for playing wrong notes.
Oh, I mentioned my mother a few sentences ago. She effing moved back in. Last Saturday. 2 days ago. She so pisses me off with her wishy washy crap. The dynamic around here had finally settled down to a mezzo forte, but the minute she started moving back in everything was like subito fff. Along with her comes my creative yet loud and destructive niece, and my brother who, bless his heart, is going to be one of those nut jobs who still lives with his mum at 50.
On TOP of all this, I am enjoying 2 maymester classes. One of which I am only auditing so it's more like the lecture that I go to in the afternoons for leisure. (Do I qualify as nerd yet?) And the other we are traveling all over Central Ga to observe high school choral directors. Actually, school is where I go to escape home so, I don't mind the classes at all. What I do fear is what will become of me in June and July when I'm babysitting with no school and 2 very annoying parents at home. hm.. I'm also a bit hung up on this guy and well, that's not unusual but it makes me mad because I want to be all independent and not in need of some guy's acceptance, but well, he's a great guy and I'm stupid. But whatever.
When I read back over my blogs, I always feel like I write like I'm still in high school and it hits me that I'm a year and a half from graduating college and then I wonder what's wrong with me. Sometimes I feel so juvenile and stupid, and other times I feel older than my years. I need BALANCE!
ok. enough ranting. Much homework and have to be at school at 6:30 AM !!!! I used to hate 8 o'clock classes. Now, I prefer them.
I have this bad eye thing going on. Like I'm squinting SOOO much more. My internet text format is set on BIG, like freaking huge because I can't see the little stuff anymore without a headache or 2. And most frustrating is that I can't see facial features when I'm like walking around, like in stores or different places until I'm right up on them. I tend to stare at people until I can figure out if I know them or not, and by the time I figure it out, I have made a fool of myself and creeped them out. Soo.. yeah, I need to get my eyes checked, but from what I've been told by my mother (who is another of my thorns), insurance won't cover it and frankly no matter how I go about it, I just don't have the money for it right now. But I must do something before school starts back. It's affecting my music reading horribly, and poor eyesight is just not a good excuse for playing wrong notes.
Oh, I mentioned my mother a few sentences ago. She effing moved back in. Last Saturday. 2 days ago. She so pisses me off with her wishy washy crap. The dynamic around here had finally settled down to a mezzo forte, but the minute she started moving back in everything was like subito fff. Along with her comes my creative yet loud and destructive niece, and my brother who, bless his heart, is going to be one of those nut jobs who still lives with his mum at 50.
On TOP of all this, I am enjoying 2 maymester classes. One of which I am only auditing so it's more like the lecture that I go to in the afternoons for leisure. (Do I qualify as nerd yet?) And the other we are traveling all over Central Ga to observe high school choral directors. Actually, school is where I go to escape home so, I don't mind the classes at all. What I do fear is what will become of me in June and July when I'm babysitting with no school and 2 very annoying parents at home. hm.. I'm also a bit hung up on this guy and well, that's not unusual but it makes me mad because I want to be all independent and not in need of some guy's acceptance, but well, he's a great guy and I'm stupid. But whatever.
When I read back over my blogs, I always feel like I write like I'm still in high school and it hits me that I'm a year and a half from graduating college and then I wonder what's wrong with me. Sometimes I feel so juvenile and stupid, and other times I feel older than my years. I need BALANCE!
ok. enough ranting. Much homework and have to be at school at 6:30 AM !!!! I used to hate 8 o'clock classes. Now, I prefer them.