I always play a lover in captivity
Dear Nadia,
It is time to either stop looking, or start looking. I'm not sure yet, but it needs to be done. Someone 25ish would be nice. Someone who is mature enough to handle themselves. To handle you. Someone who actually understands your mind, or at least makes the attempt.
Don't get me wrong, what you have going on right now is great, but eventually you'll want someone to stay beside. You'll want someone to stand up for you. You'll want someone who will be there for you. You'll want someone to share silent but awesome moments with. You'll want someone.
It's these reasons that prove to me that the tattoo holds more meaning than a song. The whole damn quote is needed. I'm not here to discuss tattoos with you but just bear with me. This is the story of the boys who loved you. Who loved you now, and loved you then. And some were sweet and some were cold and snuffed you. And some just laid around in bed. Some had crumbled you straight to your knees, did it cruel, did it tenderly. Some had crawled their way into your heart to rend your ventricles apart. Don't tell me that means nothing to you. Because I know you'd be lying. Every day it holds just a little more meaning to you. It's sad, and I'm sorry.
Now, I want you to take a deep breath. Yeah, that's right. Good. Now, I want you to know that you have things to offer. Yes, we all know that the same people are always chosen before you. Preferred to you. And that's okay. In the end you know you're a good choice, don't let people tell you otherwise. You aren't a martyr, and that's what makes you special. Keep refusing to burden others, and be there for them. And it's good to let it out sometimes, but don't do it until the right time, things always fuck up for you when you rush yourself. They don't understand that you don't show how soft you are for them. I know you can be soft. I know you can be sweet. I know you can be cute. You just have to go about it differently. It's not your fault. Don't let them make you feel bad.
Do you like the way you look? I do. Do you like the way you speak? I do. Do you like the way you dance? I do. Do you like the way you refuse to be what someone else is looking for? I definitely do. Don't compromise, there are sometimes where you must, but you are smart enough to know the difference. I like lots of superficial things about you. I like lots of not so superficial things about you too. You know, you have a lot of great qualities, I know that right now they are looked at as qualities of a good friend, but lust doesn't last forever and when it starts to fade you need a strong friendship to back that up. You won't be back up forever, it just takes times for others to realize your potential. Oh, and don't worry about being too aggressive. It's not a problem unless you are uncomfortable with it and make it a problem. You might get hurt, but it's a risk i know you can take. Who cares if you aren't bubbly, or overly charismatic? I certainly don't.
I'm sorry, I'm ranting and raving, but there are just things you need to know. And if I don't tell you, you may never know. I love you. Do you know that? I'm the only one who knows everything about you. The truth amongst the lies. You aren't a bad person. Stop thinking you are. Everyone will come around. Your loneliness won't last forever. Your friends, family, lovers, colleagues, enemies, they'll all see through their own perceptions soon enough. And you'll be fine. It'll all be fine. I know you don't believe me, I can tell, but you have to trust me sometimes. You can try to convince others, all you want, that you a great person, but in the end they must discover this themselves. You can help people find themselves but you can't tell them what to do. But you already knew that, didn't you? You're a lot smarter than you let yourself believe.
My advice to you: feel what you want to feel, seek comfort where you want to, goof off when you want to be goofy, be honest when the time is needed, lie if it'll get you through the day. Forget your worries. Breathe. You'll get through it, all of it, I know it.
Truly yours,
Nadia
It is time to either stop looking, or start looking. I'm not sure yet, but it needs to be done. Someone 25ish would be nice. Someone who is mature enough to handle themselves. To handle you. Someone who actually understands your mind, or at least makes the attempt.
Don't get me wrong, what you have going on right now is great, but eventually you'll want someone to stay beside. You'll want someone to stand up for you. You'll want someone who will be there for you. You'll want someone to share silent but awesome moments with. You'll want someone.
It's these reasons that prove to me that the tattoo holds more meaning than a song. The whole damn quote is needed. I'm not here to discuss tattoos with you but just bear with me. This is the story of the boys who loved you. Who loved you now, and loved you then. And some were sweet and some were cold and snuffed you. And some just laid around in bed. Some had crumbled you straight to your knees, did it cruel, did it tenderly. Some had crawled their way into your heart to rend your ventricles apart. Don't tell me that means nothing to you. Because I know you'd be lying. Every day it holds just a little more meaning to you. It's sad, and I'm sorry.
Now, I want you to take a deep breath. Yeah, that's right. Good. Now, I want you to know that you have things to offer. Yes, we all know that the same people are always chosen before you. Preferred to you. And that's okay. In the end you know you're a good choice, don't let people tell you otherwise. You aren't a martyr, and that's what makes you special. Keep refusing to burden others, and be there for them. And it's good to let it out sometimes, but don't do it until the right time, things always fuck up for you when you rush yourself. They don't understand that you don't show how soft you are for them. I know you can be soft. I know you can be sweet. I know you can be cute. You just have to go about it differently. It's not your fault. Don't let them make you feel bad.
Do you like the way you look? I do. Do you like the way you speak? I do. Do you like the way you dance? I do. Do you like the way you refuse to be what someone else is looking for? I definitely do. Don't compromise, there are sometimes where you must, but you are smart enough to know the difference. I like lots of superficial things about you. I like lots of not so superficial things about you too. You know, you have a lot of great qualities, I know that right now they are looked at as qualities of a good friend, but lust doesn't last forever and when it starts to fade you need a strong friendship to back that up. You won't be back up forever, it just takes times for others to realize your potential. Oh, and don't worry about being too aggressive. It's not a problem unless you are uncomfortable with it and make it a problem. You might get hurt, but it's a risk i know you can take. Who cares if you aren't bubbly, or overly charismatic? I certainly don't.
I'm sorry, I'm ranting and raving, but there are just things you need to know. And if I don't tell you, you may never know. I love you. Do you know that? I'm the only one who knows everything about you. The truth amongst the lies. You aren't a bad person. Stop thinking you are. Everyone will come around. Your loneliness won't last forever. Your friends, family, lovers, colleagues, enemies, they'll all see through their own perceptions soon enough. And you'll be fine. It'll all be fine. I know you don't believe me, I can tell, but you have to trust me sometimes. You can try to convince others, all you want, that you a great person, but in the end they must discover this themselves. You can help people find themselves but you can't tell them what to do. But you already knew that, didn't you? You're a lot smarter than you let yourself believe.
My advice to you: feel what you want to feel, seek comfort where you want to, goof off when you want to be goofy, be honest when the time is needed, lie if it'll get you through the day. Forget your worries. Breathe. You'll get through it, all of it, I know it.
Truly yours,
Nadia