Because I hate my latest fic and Maggie and I are 100% normal.
I'm a total bitch. I'm beta-ing snowlight and Fleur's amazing fic but I'm sort of failing at it because I'm going through a Jesuschriss-Why-Do-I-Bother-Writing phase.
I've got a new K/S plot in my head, but I need to calm down before I start writing again. I like the new plot bunny and I don't want to fuck it up. Seriously, I'm going to STFU about writer's block because you'll not hear the end of my whinging if I start. This fic just killed me and I honestly just gave up in the end. FFS I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE. /teenangst
Anyways, this conversation with maggiebloome happened a few nights ago.
Maggie
hey just because he wants to sleep with all the aliens doesn't mean he's dumb
i mean you would need to be VERY SMART to figure out all those different ...organs...
*suddenly wants that fic*
Mel
... *can picture kirk in starfleet database, looking up all the xenobiology files on alien anatomy*
Maggie
lolol so THAT'S why he's cosying up to uhura. he wants to know how to say "ride that dick baby" in thirteen tongues!
Mel
*licks that plotline*
Mel
you know that vulcans have retractable penises?
Maggie
i have read that in fic
Maggie
is it CANON??
Mel says:
YES IT'S CANON
RETRACTABLE PENISES.
Maggie
OMG
Mel
*was utterly horrified when she found out*
Maggie
Ahahaha
Mel
like, they PULL IT BACK INTO THEIR BODIES when it's "NOT IN USE"
Maggie
ohgod but
Mel
omg. *would hate to accidentally stumble into a vulcan men's bathroom, only to see vulcans extending their penises*
Maggie
spock's clothes-ripped-off scenes?? bulge??
Mel
NO SUCH THING. but i guess because he's half human, some like to think that it's just... one of those convenient things they can overlook.
... OMG. *claws out mind's eye*
Maggie
*snorts* shinnnng
Mel
"As part of the evolutionary process of T'Khasi life, the male organ is almost fully retracted into the body when not in use as a protective measure."
PROTECTION AGAINST WHAT? KIRK?
Maggie
LOL
MAYBE THEY HAVE GIANT CATS
Mel
THAT SPECIFICALLY ONLY EAT VULCAN PENI?
Maggie
HAHAHA GIANT COCK EATING CATS
kirk would have a field day if he found out
he would be like YOUR DICK WILL GET NOMMED BY A PUSSY
KEEP YOUR DICK AWAY FROM THE PUSSIES
Mel says:
ARGH STOP I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I WANT TO CRY OR LAUGH
I'M JUSSAYIN', MMKAY?
I've got a new K/S plot in my head, but I need to calm down before I start writing again. I like the new plot bunny and I don't want to fuck it up. Seriously, I'm going to STFU about writer's block because you'll not hear the end of my whinging if I start. This fic just killed me and I honestly just gave up in the end. FFS I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE. /teenangst
Anyways, this conversation with maggiebloome happened a few nights ago.
Maggie
hey just because he wants to sleep with all the aliens doesn't mean he's dumb
i mean you would need to be VERY SMART to figure out all those different ...organs...
*suddenly wants that fic*
Mel
... *can picture kirk in starfleet database, looking up all the xenobiology files on alien anatomy*
Maggie
lolol so THAT'S why he's cosying up to uhura. he wants to know how to say "ride that dick baby" in thirteen tongues!
Mel
*licks that plotline*
Mel
you know that vulcans have retractable penises?
Maggie
i have read that in fic
Maggie
is it CANON??
Mel says:
YES IT'S CANON
RETRACTABLE PENISES.
Maggie
OMG
Mel
*was utterly horrified when she found out*
Maggie
Ahahaha
Mel
like, they PULL IT BACK INTO THEIR BODIES when it's "NOT IN USE"
Maggie
ohgod but
Mel
omg. *would hate to accidentally stumble into a vulcan men's bathroom, only to see vulcans extending their penises*
Maggie
spock's clothes-ripped-off scenes?? bulge??
Mel
NO SUCH THING. but i guess because he's half human, some like to think that it's just... one of those convenient things they can overlook.
... OMG. *claws out mind's eye*
Maggie
*snorts* shinnnng
Mel
"As part of the evolutionary process of T'Khasi life, the male organ is almost fully retracted into the body when not in use as a protective measure."
PROTECTION AGAINST WHAT? KIRK?
Maggie
LOL
MAYBE THEY HAVE GIANT CATS
Mel
THAT SPECIFICALLY ONLY EAT VULCAN PENI?
Maggie
HAHAHA GIANT COCK EATING CATS
kirk would have a field day if he found out
he would be like YOUR DICK WILL GET NOMMED BY A PUSSY
KEEP YOUR DICK AWAY FROM THE PUSSIES
Mel says:
ARGH STOP I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I WANT TO CRY OR LAUGH
I'M JUSSAYIN', MMKAY?