I love my Jeremy
so today has just been another reaffirmation of my hatred of birthdays. well, other people's birthdays. specifically my aunt's birthday.
Today I went shopping for the elusive fabulous birthday present. And for some reason I have been cursed with the inability to think of presents that people like and appreciate. So for me I have been given the ultimate and daunting task of not only finding a nice present within a price range but also finding something that will please my Aunt. I might as well be in the Olymipics for kickboxing. Id have a greater chance of succeding.
Lets divulge into some history of present giving for my Aunt. Everything I have ever givin has a tendency to dissapear without ever so much of another word about it. or if you do hear something about it its a wish for something different. Ive found mulitiple presents stashed away somewhere. some never even taken out of their plastic wrapping.
This year i had some ambitious thoughts about making a waterfall. I told uncle d about it and he didnt like the idea, thought it was to much of a hassle. Unfortunetly he spilled my idea to Aunt Joan and now she has in her mind what she would like. not happening. so today i went shopping realizing that even if I did get soemthing she might like and that wouldnt dissapear I am still going to get the comment about wanting something different.
wandering around the mall I try to think of something she would like. Ive got some ideas, i mini home office waterfall, a new and different type of bird feeder, a nice windchime, a family tree to hang photos on, photo albulm supplies, etc. The problem is that I have failed with similar gifts in the past. Particuraly photo albulms and scrapbooks made for her. Dissapeared and unused. While things for outside are still appealing because of the current fascination with our backyard, she already has an abundunt supply of bird feeders and wind chimes. and the mini waterfall is nixed at lame.
Lo and Behold I think that I found an idea. Brighton Collectibles. A store catering to the wealthy, overly done woman by featuring overly done, bulky silver jewlery and accessories that blatenly show off your material status. Right down Aunt Joan's snobbish and flashy alley. so i go in, Im well out of my price league. The store clerks know it, cause I look awfull. (I have however bought some pretty bookmarkers for her here for christmas, havent seem them used either. what is she using? a old, yellowed, laminated card)
However I search the jewlery for something I think she would like. Which arises another problem. She has too much jewlery now. and she cant find half of it. I nix earrings cuase they would be lost or just overlooked, necklaces look promising and I find one that offers a unique possiblity. It has a picture frame. but its one and its kinda small and it would be too small to put a good picture of the grandbabies in it. then i find a bracelet with four frames on it. It would be perfect bc i could just worry about the faces fitting in just right and each child would get ample room. Im worried though cause I know she dosent wear braclets much. But then again I didnt either, and look ive got a braclet on my arm. why? cause it was given to me by someone special with special thought and i love it because of that. So I call up Uncle D and ask him about it, aunt joan is right there and hears the whole thing and says no, she dosent want it. She wouldnt wear it, even with pictures of her granbabies in it.
This sends me into a physcological downward spiral. I feel completely rejected, unwanted, uncreative, and uninspired to even give a fuck about what the hell she would want. I become agitated and emotional and on the verge of tears. I call Jeremy for some much needed consoling. Im bitchy, but he gets me laughing and feeling better in a little while. (ahh boyfriends are the best, even sick ones) After visiting numerous stores in the mall, peir one, hobby lobby, and stein mart I end up a target. There I go through many more ideas but go to the gardening area to see what I could find.
I end up with a very nice green canvas tote bag that I filled up with gardening supplies that match the fern pattern on the tote. I get her matching gloves, matching kneeler pad, corodinating trowel, spade and rake, plant food, a rain chain and a plant. I pack it into the tote in just the right fashion to show off every gift and make it look great! Im very satisfied with my self.
However, Jeremy has prepared me for the inevitable.
One plus to this is that because I have found a present, I am now exempt from seeing a horrible movie. oh yes. this is Uncle D's cop out fate. dinner and a movie. but the movie she wants to see is awful, so I feel bad for Uncle D.
any way. for entertainment purposes I am listing some of the alternative gifts suggested by Jeremy.
a Dildo
a doosh
soap in general
and empty box with a note saying "happiness and gratefulness, use it"
something he would like
something I would like (both in hopes we could take them after they dissapeared)
something completely gaudy (my favorite thing i found was a lamp with a red shade trimed in a red and black feathered boa complete with a chiken for the base.)
Today I went shopping for the elusive fabulous birthday present. And for some reason I have been cursed with the inability to think of presents that people like and appreciate. So for me I have been given the ultimate and daunting task of not only finding a nice present within a price range but also finding something that will please my Aunt. I might as well be in the Olymipics for kickboxing. Id have a greater chance of succeding.
Lets divulge into some history of present giving for my Aunt. Everything I have ever givin has a tendency to dissapear without ever so much of another word about it. or if you do hear something about it its a wish for something different. Ive found mulitiple presents stashed away somewhere. some never even taken out of their plastic wrapping.
This year i had some ambitious thoughts about making a waterfall. I told uncle d about it and he didnt like the idea, thought it was to much of a hassle. Unfortunetly he spilled my idea to Aunt Joan and now she has in her mind what she would like. not happening. so today i went shopping realizing that even if I did get soemthing she might like and that wouldnt dissapear I am still going to get the comment about wanting something different.
wandering around the mall I try to think of something she would like. Ive got some ideas, i mini home office waterfall, a new and different type of bird feeder, a nice windchime, a family tree to hang photos on, photo albulm supplies, etc. The problem is that I have failed with similar gifts in the past. Particuraly photo albulms and scrapbooks made for her. Dissapeared and unused. While things for outside are still appealing because of the current fascination with our backyard, she already has an abundunt supply of bird feeders and wind chimes. and the mini waterfall is nixed at lame.
Lo and Behold I think that I found an idea. Brighton Collectibles. A store catering to the wealthy, overly done woman by featuring overly done, bulky silver jewlery and accessories that blatenly show off your material status. Right down Aunt Joan's snobbish and flashy alley. so i go in, Im well out of my price league. The store clerks know it, cause I look awfull. (I have however bought some pretty bookmarkers for her here for christmas, havent seem them used either. what is she using? a old, yellowed, laminated card)
However I search the jewlery for something I think she would like. Which arises another problem. She has too much jewlery now. and she cant find half of it. I nix earrings cuase they would be lost or just overlooked, necklaces look promising and I find one that offers a unique possiblity. It has a picture frame. but its one and its kinda small and it would be too small to put a good picture of the grandbabies in it. then i find a bracelet with four frames on it. It would be perfect bc i could just worry about the faces fitting in just right and each child would get ample room. Im worried though cause I know she dosent wear braclets much. But then again I didnt either, and look ive got a braclet on my arm. why? cause it was given to me by someone special with special thought and i love it because of that. So I call up Uncle D and ask him about it, aunt joan is right there and hears the whole thing and says no, she dosent want it. She wouldnt wear it, even with pictures of her granbabies in it.
This sends me into a physcological downward spiral. I feel completely rejected, unwanted, uncreative, and uninspired to even give a fuck about what the hell she would want. I become agitated and emotional and on the verge of tears. I call Jeremy for some much needed consoling. Im bitchy, but he gets me laughing and feeling better in a little while. (ahh boyfriends are the best, even sick ones) After visiting numerous stores in the mall, peir one, hobby lobby, and stein mart I end up a target. There I go through many more ideas but go to the gardening area to see what I could find.
I end up with a very nice green canvas tote bag that I filled up with gardening supplies that match the fern pattern on the tote. I get her matching gloves, matching kneeler pad, corodinating trowel, spade and rake, plant food, a rain chain and a plant. I pack it into the tote in just the right fashion to show off every gift and make it look great! Im very satisfied with my self.
However, Jeremy has prepared me for the inevitable.
One plus to this is that because I have found a present, I am now exempt from seeing a horrible movie. oh yes. this is Uncle D's cop out fate. dinner and a movie. but the movie she wants to see is awful, so I feel bad for Uncle D.
any way. for entertainment purposes I am listing some of the alternative gifts suggested by Jeremy.
a Dildo
a doosh
soap in general
and empty box with a note saying "happiness and gratefulness, use it"
something he would like
something I would like (both in hopes we could take them after they dissapeared)
something completely gaudy (my favorite thing i found was a lamp with a red shade trimed in a red and black feathered boa complete with a chiken for the base.)