(no subject)
if you're wondering how much (incredible) fun i had last night at the ska concert, or how much we sweated, ask me.
if you're wondering which particular two of my female friends i cannot fucking put up with right now, ask me.
cos the truth is, i dont know any of you who are reading this. i cant remember the last time i had a best friend. much less one who actually cared.
oh yeah. about that. it's great you were on an emotional hiatus and all. good for you. but now that you appear to feel .. oh i dont know, sad maybe. you come to me about it? and all i can really say to you is the same you said to me.. hm.. a little more than a month ago. from one friend to another: "what am i supposed to do about it?" and then i can make no effort to talk to you for some three weeks or so. and to make it a little more justified, let's put you in a new city by yourself. fuck you.
an apology to the one i.. yeah... last night. i was with the mental equivancy of a drunk.
something is wrong with me, i know this. cos i think the world is a little too crazy right now. and it's a little sad. ive grown so much different from my friends, and the way our clique is so eager to talk about one another. that is not a friend, i know that much.
the fact a grown adult called me "evil" because of my political beliefs, the fact i cant say a "pledge of allegiance" cos how can i have faith in a government run by humans? we're full of fault and built to make mistakes. im not gonna paint my nails or wear lipstick or worry if my hair looks "nappy". i think many of us have forgotten that we still walk on dirt. humans are not pretty. we're meant to live for more important things than how we physically appear. maybe i need to adjust my values cos i dont see "look pretty" on my adgenda. nevermind the fact the other two female members of my family will not leave me alone about it. maybe im a little cynical in asking myself "how is this going to matter in ten years?" that and your conversations. the english language is being used for the worst reasons. i would rather live to hardly ever speak at all. the individual being has so much capability. god, how we put it to waste.
oh. alabama. let me define for you the difference between my mother, a true northener, and your mother, (this assuming a lot). alabama gives five dollars to the mothers-with-sons-and-daughters-in-iraq to slap a yellow ribbon-shaped piece of plastic on their car. my mother slips them a twenty dollar bill and wont take the fucking plastic. did that make any sense? i hope this will all pass soon. yesterday i talked with my dad about going to academy of art in san francisco. it's a definite maybe, but pretty far away. at least i'd have a reason not to come back to alabama.
i think ive offended enough people in this entry. to make this clear, you and i just wont ever agree. i do hope i'll have some friends left, and that i wasnt too rash. if anything, it does most benefit myself, and i do feel much better. please let us talk face to face now than on a computer.
shan
if you're wondering which particular two of my female friends i cannot fucking put up with right now, ask me.
cos the truth is, i dont know any of you who are reading this. i cant remember the last time i had a best friend. much less one who actually cared.
oh yeah. about that. it's great you were on an emotional hiatus and all. good for you. but now that you appear to feel .. oh i dont know, sad maybe. you come to me about it? and all i can really say to you is the same you said to me.. hm.. a little more than a month ago. from one friend to another: "what am i supposed to do about it?" and then i can make no effort to talk to you for some three weeks or so. and to make it a little more justified, let's put you in a new city by yourself. fuck you.
an apology to the one i.. yeah... last night. i was with the mental equivancy of a drunk.
something is wrong with me, i know this. cos i think the world is a little too crazy right now. and it's a little sad. ive grown so much different from my friends, and the way our clique is so eager to talk about one another. that is not a friend, i know that much.
the fact a grown adult called me "evil" because of my political beliefs, the fact i cant say a "pledge of allegiance" cos how can i have faith in a government run by humans? we're full of fault and built to make mistakes. im not gonna paint my nails or wear lipstick or worry if my hair looks "nappy". i think many of us have forgotten that we still walk on dirt. humans are not pretty. we're meant to live for more important things than how we physically appear. maybe i need to adjust my values cos i dont see "look pretty" on my adgenda. nevermind the fact the other two female members of my family will not leave me alone about it. maybe im a little cynical in asking myself "how is this going to matter in ten years?" that and your conversations. the english language is being used for the worst reasons. i would rather live to hardly ever speak at all. the individual being has so much capability. god, how we put it to waste.
oh. alabama. let me define for you the difference between my mother, a true northener, and your mother, (this assuming a lot). alabama gives five dollars to the mothers-with-sons-and-daughters-in-iraq to slap a yellow ribbon-shaped piece of plastic on their car. my mother slips them a twenty dollar bill and wont take the fucking plastic. did that make any sense? i hope this will all pass soon. yesterday i talked with my dad about going to academy of art in san francisco. it's a definite maybe, but pretty far away. at least i'd have a reason not to come back to alabama.
i think ive offended enough people in this entry. to make this clear, you and i just wont ever agree. i do hope i'll have some friends left, and that i wasnt too rash. if anything, it does most benefit myself, and i do feel much better. please let us talk face to face now than on a computer.
shan