(no subject)
i think this is the most unhappy i've been in awhile. i have no friends, so many people ignore me these days. i feel like my insides are screaming for attention, yet i get none. i'm ugly, and fat, and super lonely. it's hard for me to walk around school and see all these people i used to spend so much time with...i'm overcome with regret and anger, and i'm starting to breakdown. school sucks, i can't look at these people and pretend i'm fine...i can't sit in the same class and not be angry that i'm not sitting and talking to you...instead i sit next to the fat girl and i stay silent. life blows. i thought everything would be fine, i thought i could handle all my problems, but guess what, i fucking cant. i sit in my classes alone and friendless, the only form of contact i have is with my own thoughts...and they have become so discomforting. i want to move, fuck all of you...i know i have brought so much upon myself, but fuck all of you who have just forgotten about me and left me like this. i realize now that so many of you were never my friends to begin with because you dropped me like a bad habit. fuck the people who used me for rides, weed, a place to stay, food, sex....everything. fuck all the times i said i cared, i wasted so much fucking time with a bunch of good for nothing pricks. i've gotten to the point where everything that should matter doesn't. i want to do something drastic, spontaneous. i don't want to be that girl that everyone thinks i am, i know that's not who i am. am i a cunt? yes...yes i am, and god damn it i'm going to embrace it. am i a bitch...sure, that's just the way i am. fuck you if you think you know me inside and out, if you only think i'm a cunt and some stupid bitch then you have no fucking idea who i am. you can label me those 2 things but they don't define me. i'm sick and tired of all the bullshit, i'm sick and tired of all the insecure fuck heads who use people and try to hurt them just so they can have a good laugh...when all they're doing is filling their lives with fake happiness, they are the liars and the people who are empty inside.