(no subject)
nothing is ever really as bad as i may think. i may exaggerate things in my head, because it may feel worse. i dont ask him to talk to me every single second of his life, but i like talking to him. i mean i like to be called when to be informed of things. and i do enjoy a call every once in a while just to say "hi. how are you?" i remember the days when we could talk for hours on the phone. no nothing, well barely nothing. i just don't understand. it seems like he doesn't want anything of me. or he only wants me when it conveinent for him. but it's not right for me to make accusations or assume. he says he loves me so i believe him. but i really don't think he needs me. when i tell him how i feel it doesnt even seem like he's listening. like it doesn't even effect his thought process. i want to revive this so much, but is it really worth it? is it going to work or am i just going to hurt myself. he just seems concerned with other things. i hate that i feel this way. that i want him so bad, but everything is so fucked up. it might be worth it, because i dont really think i'm missing out on anything else. i don't even think i can get anyone else. no one's even remotely interested in me. it's frustrating. i just want to be pretty and interesting. i give up. on everything. i'm just never good enough. if i was, then i would be wanted. and i'm not. i just give up.