and we'll be radiating
Something is wrong with me. I'm generally happy in school and I constantly think about how satisfied I am with my life right now. But I feel like as soon as I'm by myself, as soon as I'm home, I need to face everything that's been going on lately-- with my family, with my life. I spend so much of my own time working out other people's problems, staying up until 1 am having deep conversations about petty drama, and as much as I enjoy helping my friends, I don't feel as if I receive any of this help in return. And yes, it is mostly my fault. It is my fault that I have issues that (the majority of) my friends have never had the pleasure of experiencing, and it is my fault that I hide all of these away.
Sometimes I wish that I could spend my weekends watching movies, drawing and painting in my room, burning incense and listening to music. I wish that life didn't have to be a constant plan. I wish that our worlds did not revolve around desperate attempts at memory making and achieving a greater social standing.
I've been very paranoid lately about people talking about me behind my back, hating me for reasons out of my control. And I really don't need that in my life, especially right now. Nobody does.
Sometimes I wish that I could spend my weekends watching movies, drawing and painting in my room, burning incense and listening to music. I wish that life didn't have to be a constant plan. I wish that our worlds did not revolve around desperate attempts at memory making and achieving a greater social standing.
I've been very paranoid lately about people talking about me behind my back, hating me for reasons out of my control. And I really don't need that in my life, especially right now. Nobody does.