EXCELLENT CONTINUATION HERE. GOOD CONTINUITY AND I LIKE THE HOGWARTS/JOYCE INTERVENTION. COMMENTS IN CAPS.
Pettigrew being revealed as the Harris' secret keeper and a marked Death Eater as well as the one who killed all those muggles [HMMM, MUGGLES SHOULD BE WITH A CAPITAL M - PLEASE CHECK] and Sirius, now Lord Black, being put in prison without a trial was publicized quickly. As usual, public opinion on the serial killer, Black, did a complete turnaround and now he was a heroic Auror who had been stabbed in the back by the scheming Ministry.
All in all, Xander had been [WAS INSTEAD OF HAD BEEN] thankful that Dumbledore had been far too busy to interrogate him concerning how he knew all that he did about the Marauders and Pettigrew being the Secret keeper for his parents. That hadn't stopped Remus from watching his [HIM INSTEAD OF HIS] intently [INSERT IN] every Defense class. That also hadn’t stopped Ron and Hermione from pestering him.
Hermione was frantic with worry about her friend and Xander was too[INSERT COMMA] but he was more worried about Percy. The boy was a prat but Xander just had to wonder how much of that attitude came from himself and how much might have come from anything Pettigrew might have done.
*I need to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I need to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I need to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows * [INSERT PERIOD]
He moved away from the windows and slowly explored the room, briefly touching the pictures and knick knacks Mrs. Summers had collected in her home. As he passed the sofa and [USE HE INSTEAD OF AND] realized there was a thick, hardback book laying [LYING INSTEAD OF LAYING] on the coffee table. It rested right beside a bowl of fresh popcorn and a cold soda can.
He felt the magic of the castle wrap around him for a moment before he sighed and slumped onto the couch. Absently, he grabbed [DELETE GRABBED] picked up the bowl of popcorn and set it on the cushion beside him. He grabbed a handful and followed it with a swig of the cold soda.
“You will manage, Xander,” she assured him. “You have already achieved much. And there has been a prophesy [PROPHESY WITH THE S IS THE VERB, USE PROPHECY] made about the White Knight just this Summer. Ask the Headmaster. You will defeat Tom Riddle and be happy.”
Xander jumped up as she moved away. “But...a prophesy? [USE PROPHECY] About me? Really?” He was boggled by that.
Xander blinked at her as she disappeared into the kitchen. Then he glanced at his wrist watch and sword [SWORE INSTEAD OF SWORD] under his breath. He just had an hour before his scheduled meeting with Dumbledore.
Pettigrew being revealed as the Harris' secret keeper and a marked Death Eater as well as the one who killed all those muggles [HMMM, MUGGLES SHOULD BE WITH A CAPITAL M - PLEASE CHECK] and Sirius, now Lord Black, being put in prison without a trial was publicized quickly. As usual, public opinion on the serial killer, Black, did a complete turnaround and now he was a heroic Auror who had been stabbed in the back by the scheming Ministry.
All in all, Xander had been [WAS INSTEAD OF HAD BEEN] thankful that Dumbledore had been far too busy to interrogate him concerning how he knew all that he did about the Marauders and Pettigrew being the Secret keeper for his parents. That hadn't stopped Remus from watching his [HIM INSTEAD OF HIS] intently [INSERT IN] every Defense class. That also hadn’t stopped Ron and Hermione from pestering him.
Hermione was frantic with worry about her friend and Xander was too[INSERT COMMA] but he was more worried about Percy. The boy was a prat but Xander just had to wonder how much of that attitude came from himself and how much might have come from anything Pettigrew might have done.
*I need to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I need to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I need to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows * [INSERT PERIOD]
He moved away from the windows and slowly explored the room, briefly touching the pictures and knick knacks Mrs. Summers had collected in her home. As he passed the sofa and [USE HE INSTEAD OF AND] realized there was a thick, hardback book laying [LYING INSTEAD OF LAYING] on the coffee table. It rested right beside a bowl of fresh popcorn and a cold soda can.
He felt the magic of the castle wrap around him for a moment before he sighed and slumped onto the couch. Absently, he grabbed [DELETE GRABBED] picked up the bowl of popcorn and set it on the cushion beside him. He grabbed a handful and followed it with a swig of the cold soda.
“You will manage, Xander,” she assured him. “You have already achieved much. And there has been a prophesy [PROPHESY WITH THE S IS THE VERB, USE PROPHECY] made about the White Knight just this Summer. Ask the Headmaster. You will defeat Tom Riddle and be happy.”
Xander jumped up as she moved away. “But...a prophesy? [USE PROPHECY] About me? Really?” He was boggled by that.
Xander blinked at her as she disappeared into the kitchen. Then he glanced at his wrist watch and sword [SWORE INSTEAD OF SWORD] under his breath. He just had an hour before his scheduled meeting with Dumbledore.
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