The Bonds of Family Series~If You Could Choose
Title: If You Could Choose
Author: Enki
Word Count: 1, 729
Characters: Zuko, Toph
Pairings: None
Rating: PG
Authors Note: Takes place after the Season 2 finale and before the final battle. A companion piece to “The Final Binding”.
Beta-ed by
hanishi.
Summary: Zuko and Toph talk about family.
Zuko sat, staring into the flickering flames of the campfire, amusing himself by matching the motion of the fire to his breathing. It helped him ignore the ruckus his traveling companions were making as they did… well, whatever it was they did between eating and sleeping.
He felt a presence approach and plop down to the ground beside him. A sidelong glance revealed it to be the blind Earthbender, Toph. She swung her arm out, almost hitting him in the stomach. “Read this.”
“Excuse me?” Zuko looked down at the rumpled scroll clutched in her hand, allowing his tone to express his annoyance. “I’m not interested.” He raised his eyes back to the flame, ignoring the arm that was still invading his personal space.
“I didn’t ask if you were interested, Flame Breath.” She poked him in the ribs with the scroll. “Read it. To me.”
Zuko turned his head, looking down at her, curiosity warring with irritation. “Don’t you have the Waterbender do that sort of stuff for you?”
“Katara keeps putting off reading it, says it isn’t anything important. She’s lying.” Toph shrugged her shoulders, a helpless sort of gesture that betrayed how nervous she really was. Zuko wondered what could be on that scroll that could upset Toph this much. “I could bully Aang or Sokka into reading it, but,” she paused and lifted her chin, “you won’t sugarcoat it.”
Zuko reached out slowly and took the scroll from her. Toph let her arm drop and folded her hands in her lap. He opened the scroll, it was a letter, he realized, and scanned it quickly. He stopped and read slowly through it again, his blood going cold.
“Well?” The girl snapped. “You’re taking so long to read it I’m beginning to think you don’t know how.”
“It’s from your father.” Zuko paused and swallowed heavily. “He wants you to stop this nonsense, return home immediately and start acting in a manner befitting your station. If you don’t, he states that you shouldn’t bother to return at all. You will be disowned, all rights to the Bei Fong name revoked, and he and your mother will forget they ever had a daughter.”
Zuko stared at the letter, not able to look at the girl next to him, afraid of what he might see. Silence stretched between them for several long moments. He almost jumped when she spoke at last, her voice brittle with bravado, “Well, at least now I don’t have to worry about Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber following me everywhere. And, hey, it could be worse,” Toph gave a short harsh laugh, “It could be another letter from my mom about how she finally understands me and wants to see me. The last one was a trap.”
Zuko nodded. While others might not, he understood how much worse the second option was. At what point do you give up on your family? How many second chances do you give them after they betray you? When their acceptance is the one thing you have spent your life striving for, how do you ignore a chance to reconcile? And yet what kind of fool believes the same exact lie twice, walking blindly into the same trap? Their situations were different, but the similarities hit Zuko far to close to home.
He took a deep, shaky breath, and forced away the memories of Azula’s poisoned words. “The bitter truth is better than honeyed lies. That doesn’t make the truth any easier to swallow, however.” That was a lesson he had learned almost too late. Zuko didn’t bother to try and hide the pain in his voice, knew she would hear it anyway.
“No, it doesn’t.” Toph sighed; she had dropped the tough act, her voice open and raw. “It’s better this way, at least now I know.”
Zuko didn’t know what to do; he was never good in situations like this. In desperation he fell back on what his Uncle would do to comfort him. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. He felt her stiffen in surprise, then relax.
Suddenly, Toph started giggling, “You’ve been spending too much time with Iroh, you’re starting to spout proverbs.”
Zuko replayed what he had just said and groaned as he realized she was right. “It was inevitable I suppose, what with Uncle throwing proverbs at me every time I so much as drank a cup of tea. It’s too late for me, but you have a chance to escape, run while you still can.”
Toph laughed harder, falling to the side until she was propped up against him. “The doom of turning into a proverb spouting, tea obsessed old man.”
“It’s a fate worse then cleaning out Appa’s toes,” Zuko deadpanned, trying and failing to hide his smile.
A commotion on the other side of camp drew their attention; the Water Tribe siblings were in the middle of a heated argument while the Avatar tried vainly to mediate. As they watched, Sokka gave in and Katara was suddenly all smiles as she threw her arms around his shoulders. Toph pushed off Zuko, sitting up straight again.
“I always wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister. Growing up I spent so much time alone, it would have been nice to have something like that.” Toph jerked her head towards where Sokka was muttering and trying to push Katara off.
“Trust me, siblings are overrated.”
Toph started tracing circles in the dirt with her toe. “Yeah, I guess it must have sucked growing up with Azula. Was she always like that, even when you were kids?”
“Pretty much, everything was a competition with her; this is just more of the same. Azula always gets what she wants, whether it’s a new toy or the Earth Kingdom.”
“Sounds to me like you got a defective model - you should trade her in, get a little sister who isn’t a royal bitch who’s trying to kill you.”
Zuko let out a short laugh. “I wouldn’t mind trading Azula in, though I highly doubt anyone would want to take her.”
“At least you have your Uncle.” The girl’s voice sounded wistful and she reached over and took the letter back from him.
“Yeah,” Zuko clenched his hands, remembering how close he had come to screwing that up. It still amazed him that Uncle Iroh had forgiven him after what happened underneath Ba Sing Se. He took a deep breath and forced away the guilt that always came with the memory of tired, disappointed eyes turning away from him.
“It’s funny really,” Zuko looked over at the Earthbender curiously, her voice had that strange brittle note again, “I mean, the first time I met your Uncle we were just strangers having tea together, and yet he understood me better then my parents ever have.” She was running her fingers over the parchment, even though there was no way she could feel the inked words. She stopped, took a deep breath, then handed the letter back to him. “Get rid of it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Zuko held the letter in one hand and summoned his inner flame. He watched as the fire quickly devoured the parchment, leaving nothing but ashes behind.
“Is it gone?”
“Yes.”
Toph reached over and put her hand in his. She felt the ashes as they slipped between their fingers, falling back to the earth.
Silence fell over them again, but this was a comfortable silence.
Zuko looked down at the little Earthbender. He hadn’t realized how much they had in common, though he had noticed how protective she was of his Uncle.
Zuko had been a bit jealous of the Avatar, and how much attention his Uncle was giving the boy, until he had remembered his Uncle could have escaped in Ba Sing Se, but didn’t. He had stayed and allowed himself to be captured because even then he would not leave his nephew behind. Growing up, he’d had to hold on tightly to anything that was his, or Azula would snatch it away, leaving him with nothing; sharing had not been an option. Zuko remembered the wistfulness in Toph’s voice. Toph was not Azula.
“He wouldn’t mind if you called him Uncle Iroh. I think it would make him happy.” Zuko glanced quickly at where his Uncle was sitting, drinking tea and talking to Katara, pretending he wasn’t really watching their every action.
Toph tilted her head towards him and he knew she had heard everything he hadn’t said. “Oh well, I suppose if it would make the old man happy I could make the effort.” She wasn’t fooling either of them. Her tone switched from self-sacrificing to teasing. “Of course that means I’d be stuck with you too, seeing how the pair of you come as a set.”
Zuko opened his mouth to protest, remembered how he’d ended up joining this insane group, and realized it was pointless to deny it. “Great, like I need another annoying, spoiled little girl in my life.”
She poked him in the ribs.
“Watch it, brat.” He growled.
She grinned and poked him again. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into a headlock. With his free hand he started messing up her hair.
“Hey!” She protested, but she was laughing to hard to push him off.
“What is going on over here?” Zuko and Toph immediately sat up and started acting as if nothing had happened as Katara’s voice cut through the air.
“Nothing.” Toph replied coolly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Peasant.” Zuko was back in meditation pose, sitting as still as a statue.
Katara gave them both a look, with an extra glare at him for the peasant comment. “Fine. But if you’re going to roughhouse take it outside… of camp.” With one last look she turned and walked back to the other side of camp.
“Yes, mother.” Toph muttered and rolled her eyes, Zuko’s lips quirked in a quick smile before he managed to suppress it.
Zuko watched the flames of the fire flicker, felt the heat it gave off warm him. He felt surprisingly peaceful.
“Still, imagine if you actually could choose your family,” Toph paused, savoring the idea. “That would be great.”
Zuko glanced down at the little Earthbender again. “Yeah, it would be.”