Another day, same day.
Just when I think everything is cool. Just when I think I have the upperhand. Just when I start to feel content stuff happens. But stuff always happens, right? So who is to decide what is good and what is bad? Me being the single determinant of the creations which are my experiences, I have yet to decide whether the most recent events are either good or bad. So I might as well decide now that everything and anything is neither good nor bad. Well that was easy. Now if i could only remember that for the eternal moment that is life. I forget this a lot, as I do many things. Why should it be that all the important and useful information skips my being when it matters most? i unno.
So I am pretty sick right now. Though I feel a lot better. This morning wasn't good. It was very painful and I cried a lot. What bothers me most was that it really got to me mentally. I was sick and it was so sad that I was sick, and I felt sorry for myself. What an illusion. But now I've totally checked out of that. I still have physical pain but mentally I feel normal. Yet, what was so different just those several hours ago? i unno. I thanked my mom today for taking care of me. I feel grateful to have her as my mom. She always takes care of me when I'm sick. But why am I so sick???? Like seriously. What am I attracting???? What could I be doing/being to attract such an ugly illness??? Oi vay. From now on its love only.
So I am pretty sick right now. Though I feel a lot better. This morning wasn't good. It was very painful and I cried a lot. What bothers me most was that it really got to me mentally. I was sick and it was so sad that I was sick, and I felt sorry for myself. What an illusion. But now I've totally checked out of that. I still have physical pain but mentally I feel normal. Yet, what was so different just those several hours ago? i unno. I thanked my mom today for taking care of me. I feel grateful to have her as my mom. She always takes care of me when I'm sick. But why am I so sick???? Like seriously. What am I attracting???? What could I be doing/being to attract such an ugly illness??? Oi vay. From now on its love only.