Not a mother's day for me
I am going to put this under an LJ cut cause it isn't pretty.
I can't post this on FB because my sister in law will think it is an attack on her and in this case, maybe it should be. I am 45 years old and I always thought that I would be a mom. My husband and I were never blessed with kids after being together for 17 years and 10 years of marriage. We tried to be parents and unfortunately, I had 4 miscarriages. My husband doesn't appear to want to hear about adoption. Having a surrogate would be very expensive as my company doesn't help with insurance for the surrogate. We would have to pay everything out of pocket and honestly at my age and the age of my husband (47), a baby would be very hard for us. I would love a child about 4-5 years old. That would be perfect and that's why I have brought up adoption so often. In addition, there are so many kids that could use a good home.
I almost wish I could go back to my 30 year old self and advise my younger self to go for invitro cause at least I would have a child or at least get my boyfriend/future husband to agree to adoption in case of no children. That wasn't something we talked about as like every other woman, we thought having kids were a slam dunk. Guess what? Miscarriages are very common. it's about 3 in 5.
My brother in law and sister in law live down the street. We are not allowed to babysit either my 6 year old niece and my 2-1/2 year old nephew. She will call her family rather than have to deal with us or my father in law, who also lives down the street. And her family lives about 2 hours away. Maybe if I was a mother, I would be an acceptable babysitter. She always said she could not wait for me to be able to babysit when she was pregnant. But now that she has kids, I am not allowed to take my niece to the park without her coming to supervise. Even though I have been baby sitting since I was 13, I am not TO BE TRUSTED. I must be monitored at all times.
My husband thinks that I am being unreasonable and irrational with how upset I am by this cow's behavior. I would love to be able to take the child out for ice cream or to the playground and be trusted, instead of being treated like I am going to allow someone to kidnap her. Since my sister in law is not related to me, but is my husband's brother's wife, I have tried to get him to intercede. At least my husband has tried. The same can't be said of my brother in law. I just think I should wash my hand and act as if the children are not related to me, but I feel like all I will be doing is hurting myself.
I can't post this on FB because my sister in law will think it is an attack on her and in this case, maybe it should be. I am 45 years old and I always thought that I would be a mom. My husband and I were never blessed with kids after being together for 17 years and 10 years of marriage. We tried to be parents and unfortunately, I had 4 miscarriages. My husband doesn't appear to want to hear about adoption. Having a surrogate would be very expensive as my company doesn't help with insurance for the surrogate. We would have to pay everything out of pocket and honestly at my age and the age of my husband (47), a baby would be very hard for us. I would love a child about 4-5 years old. That would be perfect and that's why I have brought up adoption so often. In addition, there are so many kids that could use a good home.
I almost wish I could go back to my 30 year old self and advise my younger self to go for invitro cause at least I would have a child or at least get my boyfriend/future husband to agree to adoption in case of no children. That wasn't something we talked about as like every other woman, we thought having kids were a slam dunk. Guess what? Miscarriages are very common. it's about 3 in 5.
My brother in law and sister in law live down the street. We are not allowed to babysit either my 6 year old niece and my 2-1/2 year old nephew. She will call her family rather than have to deal with us or my father in law, who also lives down the street. And her family lives about 2 hours away. Maybe if I was a mother, I would be an acceptable babysitter. She always said she could not wait for me to be able to babysit when she was pregnant. But now that she has kids, I am not allowed to take my niece to the park without her coming to supervise. Even though I have been baby sitting since I was 13, I am not TO BE TRUSTED. I must be monitored at all times.
My husband thinks that I am being unreasonable and irrational with how upset I am by this cow's behavior. I would love to be able to take the child out for ice cream or to the playground and be trusted, instead of being treated like I am going to allow someone to kidnap her. Since my sister in law is not related to me, but is my husband's brother's wife, I have tried to get him to intercede. At least my husband has tried. The same can't be said of my brother in law. I just think I should wash my hand and act as if the children are not related to me, but I feel like all I will be doing is hurting myself.