There's fog in my head...

[ldybastet]

Man, the stress of my life is really getting to me. It's hard to do anything and everything, and I've started to dissociate a LOT lately. It's worse than ever. Not so many flashbacks, even though I got a bad one yesterday. *sigh* I haven't had massive amounts of problems with my PTSD over the years - if I'm not counting the depression, the phobia for new/unknown places and traveling, and the fear of people ;) - so I haven't gone to therapy for it since I was diagnosed as a child. (They were sure I would grow out of it. *rolls eyes* Apparently not, as it's still here 40 years later.) So, that diagnosis is probably forgotten and the records long lost as I've moved many, many times since. I don't even know that doctor's name anymore. Anyway, all this dissociating made me look more into PTSD symptoms, just because I wasn't sure what the hell was going on, and I've come to the realization that C-PTSD fits all my symptoms a lot better. Actually, it fits perfectly. Huh. But I really don't have the energy to go through everything to get a new diagnosis just because. So, I guess I'm just okay with knowing what's likely wrong with me. I don't need a piece of paper to verify it.

I'm just dealing with it as best as I can. Would be nice if this fog and the feeling of being under water and not reaching the surface could stop though! It makes it so hard to get anything done when I'm mostly unconscious or moving like a zombie, without being able to string thoughts together.

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