are you happy now
last night nick was supposed to take me out for birthday dinner.
i talked to him at 3 and he said he had to shower and do a couple things and hed call me soon. he didnt call me back until 530. and when he did call me he told me that he had to go pick up mike at some funeral or something. he gets back at fucking NINE and asks me if i still wanna hang out. i was like uhh no. and hes like why what are u doing and i was like oh nothing. and hes like yeah right who are you with and i was like i am by myself, i just dont feel like hanging out. so he asked to hang out with me after i got outta work, i was like i dont know, maybe, call me or something.
you know its really frustrating. we have had plans to do this for about a week and then of course something happens last minute where he cant make it. i really dont know why i bother, i have so many better things going for me, i dont need him to keep making me upset.
so i texted him and i was like, "the more i think about things, the more i think that this break is going to be permanent. i spend too much time being mad and i dont feel like doing it anymore. reguardless of what you say, youre actions dont reflect that you want this to work and that doesnt really keep me there holdin on ya know. i think its best if we both just go and do our own thing, i still wanna be friends, i really do. but if were gunna talk and stuff you gotta stop calling me sweetie and all that shit. i dont know. and if youre thinkin about calling, dont. its not gunna get us anywhere, atleast not tonight."
he didnt call. he didnt even text back. shit like that, makes me not care. i feel like ive wasted so mcuh time. i love him to death and i wouldnt take it back for the world, but its not going anywhere now.
i am moving on, ive already started to and its wonderful. ive been hanging out with alex and its so much fun. i havent been happy in a while and this kid never lets me stop smiling. =)
off to work i go.
lata lj<3
i talked to him at 3 and he said he had to shower and do a couple things and hed call me soon. he didnt call me back until 530. and when he did call me he told me that he had to go pick up mike at some funeral or something. he gets back at fucking NINE and asks me if i still wanna hang out. i was like uhh no. and hes like why what are u doing and i was like oh nothing. and hes like yeah right who are you with and i was like i am by myself, i just dont feel like hanging out. so he asked to hang out with me after i got outta work, i was like i dont know, maybe, call me or something.
you know its really frustrating. we have had plans to do this for about a week and then of course something happens last minute where he cant make it. i really dont know why i bother, i have so many better things going for me, i dont need him to keep making me upset.
so i texted him and i was like, "the more i think about things, the more i think that this break is going to be permanent. i spend too much time being mad and i dont feel like doing it anymore. reguardless of what you say, youre actions dont reflect that you want this to work and that doesnt really keep me there holdin on ya know. i think its best if we both just go and do our own thing, i still wanna be friends, i really do. but if were gunna talk and stuff you gotta stop calling me sweetie and all that shit. i dont know. and if youre thinkin about calling, dont. its not gunna get us anywhere, atleast not tonight."
he didnt call. he didnt even text back. shit like that, makes me not care. i feel like ive wasted so mcuh time. i love him to death and i wouldnt take it back for the world, but its not going anywhere now.
i am moving on, ive already started to and its wonderful. ive been hanging out with alex and its so much fun. i havent been happy in a while and this kid never lets me stop smiling. =)
off to work i go.
lata lj<3