wierdest summer of the year....
so yeah i really thought this summer was going to be the best one yet. totally missed all of my friends this year so i figured it would just be lazy days by the pools and then just chilling the rest of the days away... so not like that at all. what i thought would be like the best summer ever turned out to be like the worst summer ever. its wierd how things turn out. even though im only a few miles away from all of my old friends, i really felt closer to them at school. i know people grow up and people change i just never thought it would happen to my friends. we were always so close and even when we werent we took everyday as a new opportunity to get to know each other better. i miss my school friends. i miss my friend that live like 5 miles away. i feel lonely. the only good thing that has been going good in my life if my new job which i love. i still kind of suck but its fun and i try hard. the only thing im worried about besides getting fired :( is that it will out a strain on sean and i's friendship. working together and hanging out is hard but i figure weve been through some pretty hard stuff. we should be able to stand through this. so yeah its like august already, where did the summer go. i cannot believe ive been home 4 months. i really just cannot believe that i havent seen my school friends in that long. i miss them (and if ur reading this im obviously talking about u :) but yeah. i miss our phase ten games everynight and only taking a break when i had to go "play". i miss friday... and saturday...and wednesday... and thursday night parties. i miss just laying there and talking. i miss our trips to little rock. and sonic. nothings going to be that good again. those are going to be memories that ill remember forever. and everyone is splitting up next year. adro, ains, jess, bri, jessie, sara, amy, david, etc will all be at hendrix next year. as for nichole and myself who knows where we will be. i just want to be everywhere at the same time. life is so confusing. so yeah next year (atleast first semester) im going to meremac. im only taking 4 classes though so i can still work alot and pay the rent for my apartment cause god knows i cant live here forever. i realized tonight that my mom has always tried to be a good mom. her intentions were good. she tried. to bad i failed. i need to start doing things for me.. not other people but for me. i need to change my life. i need to start again. night....