Happy Brithday!!
Well today is my mom's birthday. She would be 54 today. God do I miss her. Well my fiance and I got into it on the phone the other night. This weekend I did some stupid shit. I had told him about it and he started yelling at me like really bad...with good reason to! Then I had told him that I was gonna call him when he got out of work and due to stupid circumstances i wasn't able to. He then left me this email:
Hey, babe what's going on? not much here. I've just been thinking about you even more than before due to the news that you told me the other day. Since then i haven't been able to concentrate around work. I thought you would know better than to do something like that or even be influence to do it! There's one question i've been asking myself, why would you even trust someone that you've only knew for a couple of weeks to have them ask you to try something like this! If you wanted to try anything why not ask me to try it with you instead of trying it with strangers! The way i see this is that you must not care for me or either you are losing interest in me due to the fact that you are trying to kill yourself or having someone kill you, and that won't be very good on your and their part!!!! Don't you know that I LOVE YOU and care for you so much that I would do anything in this world for you! I would never do anything to hurt you in any way what-so-ever, but what i am getting from you is that you see it differently!!!! (PROVE ME WRONG)!!!!! You don't know how much you doing this has hurt me inside and out, and now i don't know if can trust you being there! If i can't talk to you than maybe i'll have to write or email from now on. What i mean by this is that for example: what if you are sitting at the airport waiting for my arrival and i never show up at all, how would you feel? The same you feel is how i feel when you say your going to call and never do. I'm not mad at all, i just want you to understand that if your not going to be able to call, know in advance and just say that you'll talk to me later, I'd rather hear that than anything! Look, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!! Don't you see that I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!! I'll say it as many times as i need too!! STOP LETTING PEOPLE CONTROL YOU AND INFLUENCE YOU SO EASILY!! LEARN TO SAY NO! DO THE RIGHT THING!! You are not the person you use to be, you are not at home with sheri and your other friends. Let them continue to mess their lives up with drugs and the drinking don't go back to that! Your soon to be MRS. KARON BROWN and that's all you need to know and i don't know about you, but I getting prepared and ready!! (HOW ABOUT YOU)!!! I'm not mad at all period, you've just put more depression and stress on me and much more to worry about! So, let's pretend that this never happened and start from the beginning! (A FRESH START)!!
I told my parent's, I didn't give them any details, i just told them that you were going through some tough times right now and that the people over their are not helping, but trying to destroying our future together. I told them that theirs not much I can do due to the fact that i'm not there to comfort you in every way that i want too. They just said to tell you to that, "to pray and ask GOD to give you strength". Also don't let people manipulate you so easily, and that the only thing that they are trying to do is change your mind about us being together and mess up your life any form or fashion! Their's no-way in hell that i'm going to let that happen even if i have to fight my way over their earlier than planned. As of now i see myself as SUPERMAN and won't let or stop at nothing until i get you back!!! I'm sending you this letter for LOVE, HELP, AND INCOURAGEMENT!!! I've probably talked too much, but just be careful and take care of yourself and remember always that I LOVE YOU KNOW MATTER WHAT!!
LOVE ALWAYS,
Karon & Therese Brown soon to be!!!!
I was going to kill myself this wekeend, but the thing about it is that I wasn't in my right mind if you know what I mean. That scared me and him half to death and now with good purpose he is really worried about me. Now I can't get a hold of him at all. Neither of his phones are working and I really need him bad right now....especially today. I need my friends and unfortunatly today, I have to be over here in Japan, across the planet from everyone that I love and it's really getting to me!! But I hope I can make it, I will try!!! Well I am gonna ket yall go for now. Holla when you get the chance!!!
Hey, babe what's going on? not much here. I've just been thinking about you even more than before due to the news that you told me the other day. Since then i haven't been able to concentrate around work. I thought you would know better than to do something like that or even be influence to do it! There's one question i've been asking myself, why would you even trust someone that you've only knew for a couple of weeks to have them ask you to try something like this! If you wanted to try anything why not ask me to try it with you instead of trying it with strangers! The way i see this is that you must not care for me or either you are losing interest in me due to the fact that you are trying to kill yourself or having someone kill you, and that won't be very good on your and their part!!!! Don't you know that I LOVE YOU and care for you so much that I would do anything in this world for you! I would never do anything to hurt you in any way what-so-ever, but what i am getting from you is that you see it differently!!!! (PROVE ME WRONG)!!!!! You don't know how much you doing this has hurt me inside and out, and now i don't know if can trust you being there! If i can't talk to you than maybe i'll have to write or email from now on. What i mean by this is that for example: what if you are sitting at the airport waiting for my arrival and i never show up at all, how would you feel? The same you feel is how i feel when you say your going to call and never do. I'm not mad at all, i just want you to understand that if your not going to be able to call, know in advance and just say that you'll talk to me later, I'd rather hear that than anything! Look, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!! Don't you see that I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!! I'll say it as many times as i need too!! STOP LETTING PEOPLE CONTROL YOU AND INFLUENCE YOU SO EASILY!! LEARN TO SAY NO! DO THE RIGHT THING!! You are not the person you use to be, you are not at home with sheri and your other friends. Let them continue to mess their lives up with drugs and the drinking don't go back to that! Your soon to be MRS. KARON BROWN and that's all you need to know and i don't know about you, but I getting prepared and ready!! (HOW ABOUT YOU)!!! I'm not mad at all period, you've just put more depression and stress on me and much more to worry about! So, let's pretend that this never happened and start from the beginning! (A FRESH START)!!
I told my parent's, I didn't give them any details, i just told them that you were going through some tough times right now and that the people over their are not helping, but trying to destroying our future together. I told them that theirs not much I can do due to the fact that i'm not there to comfort you in every way that i want too. They just said to tell you to that, "to pray and ask GOD to give you strength". Also don't let people manipulate you so easily, and that the only thing that they are trying to do is change your mind about us being together and mess up your life any form or fashion! Their's no-way in hell that i'm going to let that happen even if i have to fight my way over their earlier than planned. As of now i see myself as SUPERMAN and won't let or stop at nothing until i get you back!!! I'm sending you this letter for LOVE, HELP, AND INCOURAGEMENT!!! I've probably talked too much, but just be careful and take care of yourself and remember always that I LOVE YOU KNOW MATTER WHAT!!
LOVE ALWAYS,
Karon & Therese Brown soon to be!!!!
I was going to kill myself this wekeend, but the thing about it is that I wasn't in my right mind if you know what I mean. That scared me and him half to death and now with good purpose he is really worried about me. Now I can't get a hold of him at all. Neither of his phones are working and I really need him bad right now....especially today. I need my friends and unfortunatly today, I have to be over here in Japan, across the planet from everyone that I love and it's really getting to me!! But I hope I can make it, I will try!!! Well I am gonna ket yall go for now. Holla when you get the chance!!!