(no subject)
What a night I swear. I was tired as hell yesterday. I felt bad cause when people started talking to me or came down to visit me I think I was dozing off in the middle of the conversation. I was having some really wierd dreams last night. In fact they were kinda scarey and I really don't want to say what they were about cause they were even too grusome for me to think about. I can't help to notice that I went bed last night extremely depressed for a couple of reason but mostly one. I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine back at home last night and it is sad to see that with me joining the military and going away that I have kinda lost my place with this certain someone. The funny thing is that I having been feeling this way for a while and yesterday I was told to my ear that it is how it really was. I am sorry I am a little jealous and I am sorry that I am bitter but excuse me for having to go somewhere and make something out of myself and if I would have know that just cause I wasn't there that my friendship with them would go down the drain then I want to wake up tomorrow in my bed in Buffalo back in February of 2000 and forget about all this completely. Forget about having to go through 3 months of complete hell to claim the title of the most elite military fighting fore on the planet, for get having the opportunity to travel over seas to see different countries and meet new people, the funny thing is that I would have refused all these opportunities if I know this was going to happen. But its not like that and I can't just refuse but even thought you are there and I am here yall will always be number one in my life. This bitterness is not for everyone and for the one it is for I am sorry but what you told me last night broke my heart and I don't think I can get over that!! I dunno maybe I just need a drink!