Spaceman
okay. as i am listening to this song i realize how much music just calms me. especially alan's. maybe its because he is one of the most talented people i have ever met. maybe its because he has been such an influence on my life over the past summer. summmer. wow. god life is seems so much better over the summer. maybe because all i did was sing. all i ever want to do is sing. How can someone write such good lyrics? its like you can just visualize the whole story he is telling. good its perfect. maybe thats why i love music so much, becuase it seems so flawless. i dont have the slightest idea what i am talking about. oh well. it makes me feel better listening to alan's music. i haven't listened to it in awhile. and now i get to go to play practice and listen to seussical. which is about the futherest thing from soothing. about my last post. i have officially decided i need to find some guy that i can just connect with. i have tons of girls that i can do that with, but i really need some guy who will just talk. and my brother isnt not him. not to be mean to my brother. i mean i love him. but i need somebody who isnt in my family. now totally changing the subject... i dont think that marist knows how good kaitlyn is. and me for that matter. all anything is ever about is tyler. yea okay so i am jealous. i am perfectly aware. im not jealous of her talent at all. i am jealous of the response she gets for it. cause kaitlyn and i are just as good. but all anyone ever talks about is how good tyler is. she gets everything. think about it (well i know most senior girls dont have to think that hard). she got the lead in the play (which i could really care less about now, but at the time it seemed so big). she got into singers. there goes tylers ego. then trio. ah!! is she ever going to NOT get something she wants? she is never going to be able to understand me. i have never recieved any of the attention she has for what i do. and i work so hard. i mean she cares about other things to. like her popularity. but honestly i could give a fuck about that. all i've ever wanted to do is sing. and she didnt even like to sing until she met kaitlyn. its funny how the world works. oh well. as people always tell you "it makes u a stronger person in the end." i dont want to live in nyc anymore. i want to live in the north carolina mountains and go to appalachian state university in NC and sing. i have no desire to make it. as long as i can sing, i will be happy. i want to wake up in the mornings and see the mountains, and just be able to enjoy life. i am so excited about leaving marist. i am so over it. i love tyler. sorry.