man I forgot about this site.....

[lcm570]

It's been a long freakin time since I've written in this thing. But I've had a really shitty time in Florida. Is that possible? I guess so. Two guys have hurt me so badly that I want to slit my throat. Unfortunately I can't bring myself to do that.

I love my job and the people I work with...but I'm leaving them in 12 days to come back to Kentucky to sit on my ass and probably do nothing....

Last Breath to call to you

Tears well once again

As I try hard not to cry

Looking towards the sky

For mercy and guidance

Once again Ive been done wrong

Fighting once again not to cry

I lose the battle and fall to the floor

After throwing items around the room

I break down and cry

For the one who lied

And doesnt deserve my tears

But I cant help but cry

For the brothers who I fell for

One I loved

The other a mere affection

Tears stream down my face

Not letting up for a moment

Until there isnt a tear left in me

I feel light headed and lay down

Where I stare at the ceiling

When I avert my eyes

I see you there

I want to scream at you

But cant

For my voice is gone

Im dreaming

I only wish you were here

To comfort and console me

But you dont deserve that privilege

Because you lied to me

Played with my emotions

I hate thee

But I cant seem to hate

You messed with my heart

I hate thee

But I also love thee

That's how I feel about the guys that hurt me....